Lost and Delirious
by torigingerfox
Summary: ON HIATUS 'You. Are. A. Monster. I just hope that someone will eventually wipe that grin off your face for good, Malfoy. It's too easy being the big bad boy here, though. I bet you are wetting yourself at the idea that you'll soon become a Death Eater. Because we both know you will. You wouldn't refuse, would you? You aim to please your daddy after all..." ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters, which, as you all know belong to J.K. Rowling**

 **This is the first fanfiction I've decided to publish. I've been writing for quite a while but I couldn't bring myself to publish my story. I'd appreciate your reviews ad of course...I hope you enjoy it!**

 _ **A/N: Edited 23/12/2015.**_

* * *

Walking briskly along the winding hallways of Hogwarts, Hermione spotted her friend and fellow Gryffindor standing outside the Great Hall, green eyes flashing as he trembled with suppressed rage.

Making a beeline for him, Hermione spoke up tentatively, trying not to provoke his anger 'Harry are you all right? You look awful'

'Well, thanks, Hermione. You sure know how to make a boy feel better' he grumbled irritably as he folded his arms across his chest.

'OK, I know what's wrong with you' her lips twitched into a small smile as she turned to leave, beckoning for him to follow.

'Do you now?' he scowled sceptically, but took a reluctant step forward all the same.

'Yeah, you need breakfast'. Nodding encouragingly as she took another few steps toward the dining hall, Hermione turned back around to face her friend 'Boys with empty stomachs can be pretty difficult to deal with. It's something I learnt during the past years' offering him a big smile, she made an effort to lighten Harry's sour mood.

Unfortunately, her efforts seemed to have been in vain 'I'd be perfectly fine if Malfoy mysteriously disappeared never to come back'

Slightly startled by his bitter response to her seemingly harmless remark, Hermione frowned at the mention of the blond Slytherin before reaching out to rest a concerned hand on his shoulder, 'What happened?'

Scowl deepening, if that was even possible, Harry looked away, choosing to direct his laser-like stare at a portrait of an abbey on the wall instead, making the nuns flinch 'Oh, just the usual polite exchange. _"Hey Potty, Where are your Mudblood girlfriend and your Blood traitor friend?"…_ You know the rest; nothing out of ordinary, really…'

Ah. Of course. Sighing as she tried to push all thoughts of the pampered blond, she patted Harry's arm comfortingly 'Seriously, Harry. When will you stop listening to the spoiled brat? It's not as if his insults have improved during the years. Come on, let's go and have breakfast'

'Wait. Speaking of food…where's Ron? He's not with you?'

'Well, obviously not - even the Chosen One was a bit slow in the morning, she thought affectionately as the bespectacled wizard scanned the area, looking for the redheaded Weasley - he wouldn't wake up so I just decided to come down on my own…you know I like to be on time, especially for the first day of the week'.

The two of them found their usual spot at the Gryffindor table and enjoyed breakfast, chatting idly as they ate. Hearing the sound of heavy, running footsteps growing louder and louder as they came closer, the two looked up in alarm only to see Ron come rushing, looking distinctly dishevelled and scruffy.

' _So typical'_ thought Hermione, scooting over to make room as Ron squeezed in beside her.

Not long after, Professor McGonagall passed by to hand out their new timetables. A few weeks into the term and they'd finally know which subjects they were allowed to take. The teacher looked between the three of them with a stern yet not unkindly gaze, scrutinizing the trio 'Well, I'm glad to inform you that Professor Dumbledore finally convinced Professor Snape to take students who got Exceeding Expectations in their O.W.L.s in his Potion class, so as you – she pointed between Harry and Ron with one of her long fingers - both told me you'd like to become Aurors I've felt no reason not to add the course to your timetable'. Pausing as her expression softened slightly, there was a look almost akin to pride in the Transfiguration teacher's eyes. 'Enjoy your classes'

And with that she went on with distributing the rest of the timetables to the other Gryffindor students.

'Enjoy your classes?! Is she trying to make fun of us? We start with double Potions and oh-how-surprising we're with the Slytherins, again' Ron grouched, nearly crushing his timetable between his hands as he did nothing to hide his bad mood.

'Well Ron, you might want to get used to being with the Slytherins, we also share Transfiguration, and Defence Against the Dark Arts with them… and that's not counting the elective subjects where we're all mixed' interjected Hermione, sighing in defeat as she stared with dejected resignation at her own timetable.

'No way! Oh blimey, this is going to be an awful year, I'm telling you!'.

'Leave it to Dumbledore to pair the Gryffindors and the Slytherins. The man is calling for murder, clearly', commented Harry with a scowl on his face. Seeing the intense glare that he directed at the poor timetable clenched tightly in his hands, Hermione wouldn't have been surprised at all if the sorry slip of parchment abruptly burst into flames.

'Oh stop it, you two! Try and be the better men, don't let the Slytherins get to you, and _please_ do not rise to the bait. You know Snape is always looking for an excuse to dock us of House Points, so don't give him one"

The boys nodded grudgingly and stood up, heading towards the dungeons. Nobody really wanted to be late for Snape's classes, especially not the Gryffindors.

Once down in the Dungeons Harry, Ron and Hermione took their usual table in the back of the room. Hermione kept an eye on Harry and couldn't help but notice that he was staring at Malfoy, Nott and Zabini, who were there already, sitting together and chatting animatedly. Turning his gaze as he studiously avoided the sight of them, it was clear as day that he simply couldn't stand them. Zabini and Nott weren't usually all _that_ bad. Nott mostly kept quiet, or at least he never voluntarily engaged in pissing contests with Harry and Ron, and Zabini was too busy screwing half of Hogwarts' female population to annoy them. There was only a true git there, and his name was Draco Malfoy. How was it possible that the girls considered him one of the most attractive boys of the school? Well, he clearly wasn't bad looking. She wasn't blind and she considered herself an objective person. But, come on, he always had that awful smirk plastered on his pointy face. And he was needlessly cruel. Not to mention the fact that he was a bigoted, prejudiced, spoiled brat.

The class was full, and just a moment later Snape made his entrance, his black robes billowing around him as usual.

'The bloody bat is here' hissed Ron, causing Harry to snort quietly.

'Silence! I am not here to waste my time, I have been forc- well, _kindly asked_ by Professor Dumbledore to take E.E. students in my class and I'm not pleased about it. Don't try and get on my nerves on the very first day of the week or I might _accidentally_ decide to give you so much homework that you won't see the daylight for the next 3 weeks'.

At his ominous words, the class immediately fell silent. Snape and McGonagall sure knew how to keep the students at bay, thought Hermione absent-mindedly.

'Today you are going to produce the Draught of Living Death – with a quick gesture of his wand he made a list of ingredients appear on a blackboard - read the instructions on page 34 and get the ingredients. The Potions Master sure wasn't very talkative. Hermione opened her copy of Advanced Potion Making while Harry stood up to head towards the cabinet and get their ingredients. But he had barely even gotten out of his seat before Snape barked out 'Not so fast Mr. Potter, 5 points from Gryffindor for your bad manners'.

Hermione was glad to see that Harry knew better than to retort, keeping his mouth shut as he lowered himself back into his seat. 'I'm perfectly aware that you've all had the same partners for the past 5 years, but this year things will be different. No more trios'. At this, he glanced between Hermione, Harry and Ron, a callous gleam in his eyes 'You'll be working in pairs'.

Returning Snape's stare as evenly as she could in the brief moment they had made eye contact, fighting to keep all signs of negative emotion off of her face, Hermione stifled a groan. Well… one of them could always work with Neville… so while the news was disappointing, it wasn't too difficult to work around, so all things considered, it wasn't too bad. At least that's what she had thought.

' _And'_ continued Snape with an evil grin on his face- I will decide who's going to be working together' and with another swift movement of his wand he made all their names appear on the panel, replacing the list of ingredients. Standing up in her chair to get a better look, Hermione just couldn't believe her eyes. Blinking her eyes and giving them a quick rub, she took another look and nodded grimly; so her eyes hadn't been playing tricks on her – she knew at once that he had done it on purpose. There was no mistake, Harry Potter – Theodore Nott. And right below Hermione Granger – Draco Malfoy. Perfect. Just bloody blissful. So much for being positive on a Monday morning. She heard Malfoy curse and say 'He must be mental. _Me_ , with the filthy Mudblood!'. Snape clearly overheard but pretended not to - unsurprising given his blatant favouritism of Slytherins, Draco Malfoy in particular **.** The time when the Potion Master would take points from his own House had yet to come.

Ron was paired with Neville, but, given the fact that Neville had got E.E. on his Potions exam only because Hermione herself had helped him a great deal, he wasn't very happy either. Neville was famous for being a complete disaster when it came to Potions, and Ron wasn't a natural himself. Even so… There was no way that Neville could be considered a worse partner than Malfoy, so when Ron started to complain, Hermione lost her temper and hissed 'Oh shut up Ron! You're not the one who's going to be called horrible names all the time, look who I'm paired with!' Turning to his other friend, Ron opened his mouth, but before he could get a single word out, Harry cut him off 'In case you haven't noticed, I'm with a Slytherin too. There's no way I can be sympathetic over you getting paired up with Neville'. Giving up, Ron leaned back into his chair with a sigh of resignation 'Yeah, well…I guess you two have more reasons to complain'. Clearing his throat, Snape looked around the dungeon, ignoring the dirty looks thrown at him from all directions. 'Well? Can you all pair with your working partner so that we can actually start our lesson or should I start deducting points?' Gathering his things, Harry scowled and muttered under his breath. 'You already started, greasy git' Judging from the way Harry moved as he made his way to Nott, you'd think he was walking to his execution.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Draco was fuming. He knew perfectly well that he wasn't acting like a Slytherin. He should have been able to hide his feelings, but his loathing at the mere idea of being so close to Granger was too powerful to be concealed.

Just before he exploded **,** Blaise leaned over and hissed 'Draco, get a grip! Go there and work with her, she's smart, you yourself have excellent grades. You'll get top marks together so just shut your mouth and stick to working, you're a Slytherin for Salazar's sake!'

'If you say so…Still, I'd rather work with Saint Potter than with a filthy mu-'

'Draco! Stop being a whiny child and go there! Are you or are you _not_ a Malfoy? You're being immature! Want to give the Gryffindor Princess the satisfaction of being upset about this arrangement?' Blaise's last words lit a fire in Malfoy's head and it was bearing those words in mind that Malfoy found himself packing his things up and making his way over to the female Gryffindor.

Blaise was paired with Daphne Greengrass. Lucky him. The girl wasn't exactly a genius. But _anyone_ was better that Granger. Potter was standing as far as possible from Theo, while still sharing the same table, but other than that, the two didn't show any particular signs of great dislike. Draco heard Theo saying 'Well, should I go get our ingredients then?' Potty slowly turned and simply said 'Be my guest, Nott'. Well, knowing Theo and his usual silent and collected demeanour with everyone but him and Blaise, he and Potter would probably do wonders together. Draco wanted to kill Snape. Honestly, what was he thinking? Paired with Granger of all people. Fan – bloody – tastic.

Granger was busy preparing the ingredients, acting all mature and working swiftly and making him feel even worse for not being able to just accept their new arrangement. She was trying to hide the fact that she was having the time of her life with – he was sure that was how she saw him - her oh so favourite person in the whole world. But she was a Gryffindor and Draco could read her like an open book. She was just as pissed as he was, only more determined to hand the potion in and get a good grade. Sulking over her goody-two-shoes behaviour, anytime she'd approach the table and accidentally go near him he'd snap 'Do not touch me Granger! Keep your filthy little hands off me and my things!' Draco thought he might as well have some fun and insult her, just for the sake of it.

She was beyond herself. 'Malfoy I assure that you I have no intention of touching you. Now if you'd stop being such an insufferable ass we could turn our sample in and leave. I'm not exactly a happy bunny at the idea of having to put up with you for the rest of the year, you know; but I'm mature enough to live with it'. Feeling the pure rage and loathing bubbling up inside of him, Draco looked at the Gryffindor with ill-disguised contempt. He hated that unbearable know-it-all and all that she represented. Still scowling as he watched her work, he was glad that she didn't look up from stirring the potion in the cauldron. He could see why a lot of boys fancied her. She wasn't _that_ ugly, for being a Mudblood - not that he'd ever admit it. Still, he'd never see her as anything other than an insufferable bookworm.

Still eying her fixatedly, he jumped back, startled, when her head snapped up, glaring at him 'Malfoy, do you want to ask me out or something? Stop staring!'

Embarrassed and furious at her accusation, two pale pink splotches appeared on Draco's cheeks, 'Are you joking Granger? As if I'd ever want to touch you and your ugly face. I can barely stand the sight of you, let alone spend time with you. The mere thought makes me want to throw up'.

She looked a bit taken aback, given his angry tone, and he could sense she was a little hurt. Good. It made him feel slightly better. People around them were starting to stare at the two of them, listening carefully to what they said. Potty and the Weasel were too far and too busy with their potions to hear though. Shame - it would have been nice, upsetting them was one of his favourite activities.

'We're done here. I'll turn the sample in, so that you don't have to keep looking at my _ugly face_ for a minute longer'.

No witty comebacks? This was no fun.

'Whatever, Granger. – an annoyed look plastered itself on his face, reflecting his displeasure - ah, just a piece of advice before you leave…go and find someone desperate enough to shag you, you'd definitely be less of a pain in the ass after a good fuck. Oh, how rude of me…I forgot you're a real goody-two-shoes aren't you, Granger? Shame poor Weasel won't get anywhere near your precious V anytime soon!'.

She half choked, her eyes bulging and her skin as red as her Gryffindor tie. He could tell she literally wanted to strangle him for bringing up such private matters in front of everyone, but what really made his day was that she obviously felt the urge to cry and was trying desperately to fight it. He was so pleased with himself as she wiped the corner of her eye.

'Fuck off, Malfoy'.

And with that she gathered her things and left him there on his own, with a smirk on his face. He loved Mondays.

Theo evidently saw Granger leaving in a rush and turned to look at him, mouthing 'Why _on Earth_ do you have to be such an _ass_? Do you want Potter to kill you?'. That made him feel unexpectedly stupid, and pissed with himself for feeling so. As if Potter actually scared him. Theo then turned the sample in and was about to reach Draco when Snape said 'Well, Mr Nott, Mr Potter can finally hope to pass my class with decent marks this year. Your potion is flawless, 10 points for Slytherin. And yours too Mr. Malfoy, that'll make another 10 points for Slytherin I suppose'.

All the Gryffindors were livid, beside themselves with rage. They knew perfectly well that Hermione was the one who did all the hard work, yet Snape wouldn't acknowledge it just to piss them off. 'Does anyone have anything to say?' asked Snape threateningly. Surprisingly, Potty kept his mouth shut, gathered his things and left the room without glancing back, with Weasley hot at his heels. Reaching him at his desk, Theo and Blaise grabbed Draco and headed for the exit.

'What's your next class?' drawled Draco still quite pleased with himself at the uncharacteristic outburst he managed to provoke out of the Mudblood.

'I have Divination and Blaise has a free period. Looking forward to hear Trelawney predict someone's death' answered Theo calmly.

'Well, I have Arithmancy now, I guess I'll see you in the Great Hall for lunch then' turning to the correct hallway, he walked off, leaving his two friends behind as he went to his next class.

Once inside the Arithmancy class he spotted his usual seat at the back and headed there, walking with his usual confidence. Professor Vector entered the room and greeted them 'Dear all, welcome to yet another year. Today we- she stopped midsentence as Granger entered the room all flustered. She seemed embarrassed, but that wasn't all; the girl was _never_ late. 'Well Miss Granger are you feeling fine? You are always on time to my classes, has something happened?.

'I'm deeply sorry Professor. I just don't feel too well today, I'm afraid', she said clearly masking her emotions. It was bullshit. Draco knew she was in perfect health, she was just upset about their little exchange in the dungeons. Stupid girl, those Gryffindors would never learn to master their emotions.

'Not to worry dear girl, just sit at the back with Mr. Malfoy, would you please? You two are my most brilliant students, I'm sure he'll gladly assist you today as you're not feeling at your best'. Teachers could be really thick. Gladly assist? Really?

Draco snorted at the thought of being again so close to Granger, and couldn't help noticing that her eyes were red and swollen; she had clearly been crying. Was it his fault? He probably hit a raw nerve down in the dungeons. He was just joking of course, he'd never imagined the Gryffindor Princess to actually _be_ a virgin. She dated Krum after all. And as much as he loathed her, she wasn't _that_ dreadful. He still couldn't understand what the famous Bulgarian Seeker saw in her, but still…he'd always thought she gave it up to Krum. Well, to hell with that. She was just an annoying know-it-all and he couldn't care less if she cried herself to sleep for being a pathetic little goody-two-shoes.

* * *

Hermione was less than thrilled at the idea of being so close to Malfoy, again. He was just a spoiled brat, of course…and she always told the boys to just let him talk because he was just not worth it. But this time, he did hurt her feelings during Potions. She wasn't so confident when it came to her looks, and being told that she was an _ugly virgin_ in front of a whole bunch of people, most of them Slytherins, was a terrible blow. Being told that in order to sleep with someone, that someone should be desperate, made her feel even worse. Given the fact that she had had a huge crush on someone, namely Ron, who never even noticed she was girlfriend material, her self-confidence wasn't so high. She was just glad that her best friends hadn't heard Malfoy, or they'd probably have felt the urge to _defend her virtue_ or something like that, making things way worse. Last time they hexed each other in the dungeons she ended up with horrendously long front teeth and she wasn't keen on repeating the thrilling experience.

She was thinking about what Malfoy said…and felt bad for caring so much. She knew for sure that Harry and Ron had their first experiences already, respectively with Ginny and Lavender respectively, and everyone supposed she had been with Krum when she went to visit him in Bulgaria. But somehow Malfoy saw right through her, he somehow _knew_ that she was utterly unexperienced and he purposely hurt her by stating so in front of everyone. Nonetheless she wordlessly took her assigned seat beside him and buried her nose into her books, furiously taking notes. She was very aware of his presence, and she could feel his amused eyes on her, but at the same time she was very determined not to look at him.

When she couldn't keep it bottled up anymore she hissed through clenched teeth 'Happy now? You made _the filthy Mudblood_ cry. You succeeded in hurting her feelings. Do you want a medal?'

She usually _hated_ referring at herself with that horrible word, but this time she was too angry, humiliated and upset to care.

Malfoy was speechless 'I-I..'

Hermione kept going 'Can't come up with another witless insult to throw at me, Malfoy? Good, if you've finished telling everyone about my non-existent sexual life then you could at least leave me alone and wipe that grin from your detestable face'.

'Get a grip Granger! For the love of Merlin, you've completely lost it! How was I supposed to know that you would take it so bloody personally?'

'Oh I don't know, Malfoy. You might have guessed that _my_ vagina is something quite personal to _me_ '.

* * *

Draco blushed at the mention of her female parts. He too often forgot that Granger was a girl, after all. Regaining control of himself, he blurted out 'Granger, please. This is really not something I want to discuss with you. Ew. Plus, I just said you were a virgin in front of the whole class to piss you off, I didn't actually _think_ you were one. I mean, you've been with Krum back in our fourth year, I've always implied you did something more than snogging him, with him being older…'

She interrupted him, brown eyes flashing as they narrowed themselves to slits 'Malfoy, don't try and look less of a complete obnoxious twat, I know you somehow knew'.

Draco was pissed as hell. Now, how the hell was he supposed to know a bloody thing about Gryffindor Golden Girl's sexual life? For crying out loud, she was such a pain in the bloody ass, and right now, she was being ridiculous.

'You know what Granger? I couldn't care less about what you think and about your feelings. You are nothing. Just an insufferable know-it-all who will never be boned. I, for instance, would rather be transformed into a bloody stone than go anywhere near your filthy body'.

He did it. He knew this would be too much for her to take. He could kick himself for not being able to stop sooner, she'd probably make a scene in front of everyone and he'd end up in detention. But when it came to Granger he just lost his ability to control his tongue. She literally brought out the worse of him. She jolted her head up, looking at Draco straight in the eyes. She was about to cry, he could tell. But she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of crying in front of him. He was surprised at how poised she was.

She calmly, yet angrily said 'You. Are. A. Monster. I just hope that someone will eventually wipe that grin off your face for good, Malfoy. It's too easy being the big bad boy here, though. I bet you are _wetting_ yourself at the idea that you'll soon become a Death Eater. Because we both know you will. You wouldn't refuse, would you? You aim to please your daddy after all. And you're too scared to fight his orders. I might be an _ugly Mudblood virgin_ , but you are pitiful. I feel _sorry_ for you, it must be horrible to live an hollow, loveless life. So maybe, I'm not the one who should be desperate. I may be too emotional, I may lose myself easily, but at the very least I face what's to come with some dignity; that's the problem with you Slytherins - you would sell your own mother just to keep your rich pureblood ass safe'.

She left him there, dumbfounded and speechless, as she excused herself telling Professor Vector that she was feeling sick before heading out. He could feel his head burning, his cheeks reddening and his wrath coursing through him. That filthy Mudblood. That dirty bitch. How could she-how could she _possibly_ dare to affirm that he was scared? She deserved to be punished.

'Mr. Malfoy could you please go and check on Miss Granger? I'm a tiny bit worried'. Perfect. He needed to get out of that bloody classroom. Draco left the room and stormed away, all eyes on him. The hell with Granger, she could choke on her tears for what he cared. She called him a monster, she accused him of being scared….and deep inside he knew he was so pissed because she hit a raw nerve. He headed towards the Great Hall, where he met an extremely relaxed Blaise Zabini. Apparently _his_ free period didn't go _that_ badly.

'Draco' he greeted him lifting his hand to give a lazy wave.

'Blaise. Where's Theo?'

'Inside. The pig couldn't wait a minute longer. He kept complaining about how hungry he was. He's a total pain in the ass, for being such a quiet person'

'He's not _that_ quiet anymore, I'm afraid. I swear he should've been sorted into bloody Gryffindor'

'Now now Draco, he's not _that_ hopeless. I guess he's just extremely glad you finally got rid of Crabbe and Goyle. I mean, a bloody Flobberworm would be more intellectually challenging than the pair of them put together, mate'

Draco grinned. 'Well, I'm bloody starving. Let's go and find Mr. Theodore Nott, shall we?'

Theo was sitting at his usual spot, mouth full of Merlin knows what. 'Hee uh aah maih'

Wrinkling his nose in disgust as Theodore unwittingly spewed out a few crumbs of his food, Draco did his best to stop the slice of toast he had that morning from making a reappearance 'Nott, that's revolting and you look like Weasley – can't you swallow before talking?'

Briefly glancing over at his fellow Slytherin as they slid into their respective seats, Blaise redirected his gaze back to Nott with a grin 'Draco here is in a bad mood **,** Theo, just so you know." Grin widening at his blond friend's scowl, Blaise gave a smirk, resting his head on his knuckles "Prince Charming **;** care to tell us what happened to make you so pleasantly cheerful? You're such a joy to be with'

Snorting, Draco's scowl deepened as he gave Blaise his well-practiced glare. 'Zabini, you could always sit somewhere else, you know'.

'Oh Blaise. It's the surname thing again. Leave him be, he'll come around'

'Will you two stop whatever you think you're doing? I'm right here, in case you haven't bloody noticed'

'Oh, see Theo? Tease him a little bit, get a reaction - you'd think he was a bloody emotional Hufflepuff'

'Oh, for the love of Salazar! Why am I wasting my precious time with the two of you again? Please remind me'

'Because I am the most charming, attractive, funny wiz-'

'THEO!'

'Sorry mate. You're not in the mood, I get that. But you can't honestly expect Blaise and I to be two bloody statues. We are not Crabbe and Goyle - Merlin bless'em -They could challenge a mountain Troll in stupidity'

Draco sighed. Theo was right, after all - he felt way better since he started hanging out with him and Blaise. He could finally speak to people who were able to put two sentences together without ending up with a splitting headache.

'Nothing happened. Nothing important, anyway. Bloody Granger, as usual. I swear I'm going to wipe that superior look off her ugly face one day'

'Such a shame she's so annoying, though. She's quite fit if you ask me' said Blaise casually as he buttered his toast.

Draco gasped **,** mouth opening and closing with disbelief. 'Fit? Honestly, Blaise. Even YOU can't possibly stoop so low'.

'She _is_ fit, Draco. Unfortunately she's also an insufferable know-it-all'

'And a Gwyffindoh' added Theo with his mouth full, once again spraying crumbs everywhere.

'Would you fucking swallow your bloody food before speaking Theo?'

'Jeez, sorry mate. Forgot we've got the Slytherin Prince himself here. What on Earth did she do to put you in _such_ a state?'

'She exists' he stated simply, brow furrowing at the merest thought of her 'That and she got all upset because I pointed out the obvious'

'Being what?' asked Blaise, the infamous King of Slytherin gossip himself.

'Apparently Gryffindor Golden Girl is a virgin. And I stressed out the fact that she'll be one for a long time, being an ugly Mudblood and all…'

'Ouch. I guess she didn't appreciate that. Still a virgin, you say. Interesting…' said Blaise.

Theo laughed 'That's hardly the reason why you are so upset, though, is it? I mean, she got her knickers all twisted because of what you said…great. So now what?'

Bloody Theo. Why was he so fucking smart?

'She told me I must be pissing myself at the idea of following my father's footsteps. Can you fucking believe her nerve? Mentioning my father. Stupid bitch' he explained reluctantly, trying to sound nonchalant.

'I _am_ pissing myself at the mere thought; my father gives me the creeps... and yours is way worse' Briefly looking away from his food, Theodore gave Draco a sympathetic look.

How could he say something like that in such a casual way? He had some nerve. Or he was completely and utterly barmy. Knowing Theo, it was most likely the latter.

Blaise snorted 'Lucky me then. My mother's only worry is finding husband number 7… or maybe number 8. I think I lost count'

After a very pregnant pause, Theo started laughing his ass off, and, moments later, so did Blaise.

Draco followed straight after, completely forgetting what Granger had told him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello everyone! Hope you enjoyed the first chapter...here's the second! As you might have noticed I'm not a native speaker. So, please forgive my mistakes! Thanks for the reviews btw. Jk I don't think I actually described Draco as the most attractive guy in the school, but I do see your point...thank you for sharing your opinion :)**

Hermione wiped the tears away, staring at her own reflex in the mirror. Her hair was messier than usual and her face was red and blotchy. Eyes bloodshot and a sore nose. Wonderful. What a sight. Everyone in the Great Hall would notice she had been crying. And for what exactly? A bigoted, arrogant idiot. He wasn't worth her grief. He wasn't worth a single feeling except from loathing. She shouldn't have been so affected by his words. He was just… _Malfoy._ But she probably would have been equally affected if the offence came from anyone else. The thing is no one else in the entire school was such a cruel prick and people would never dream to be _that_ insensitive and bring up such private matters.

She sighed and wiped her face one last time before collecting her school bag from the floor and heading towards the Great Hall. Once there she spotted Harry and Ron, sitting at the Gryffindor table, their backs at her.

'Where is she?' asked Ron for what Hermione suspected was at least the tenth time.

'Do you think something happened to her Harry?'

'She probably went to the library, mate. You know Hermione. She can't resist'.

'I actually can, you know'

The boys turned around smiling, but once they saw her their smiles faded, concern taking their place.

'Hermione, what happened to you? You're a mess!' asked Harry with apprehension.

'You sure know how to make a girl feel better, Harry', she answered mimicking his previous reaction.

'Seriously, Hermione. What happened?'.

Harry just wouldn't let it go, bless him.

She exhaled. 'Let's say my Arithmancy class, didn't go too well. Nor did Potions.'

'What are you talking about?' asked Ron disbelievingly. 'Not even _you_ can possibly be concerned about classes _that_ much Hermione'.

Could he be any thicker?

'Malfoy happened' mumbled Harry, understanding immediately and shooting daggers at the blonde Slytherin, sitting not far away.

'What did the stupid ferret do this time?' asked Ron, ears red with anger.

Hermione didn't really want to tell them about the whole being a virgin thing, sensing their possible _passionate_ reactions, so she just said 'Oh, the usual really. He kept calling me a _filthy Mudblood_ and wouldn't stop saying horrible things to me. I don't even know why I'm so bothered, it's just Malfoy we're talking about. I shouldn't be surprised'.

'But I bit back of course – and she smiled at her two friends knowingly - told him he's wetting himself at the bare idea of being Marked'

' _And_ that Slytherins would sell their own mothers just to keep their ass safe' she added chuckling

'That's our girl! Good job 'Mione!' said Ron proudly.

'He's just a stuck up insufferable git. Don't listen to a word he says' echoed Harry.

She smiled at her friends, grateful for their support, wiped away the rest of her tears and started eating.

Harry was right. Malfoy was just an idiot and she shouldn't let him win. She glanced towards the Slytherin table and saw him with Nott and Zabini. They were talking animatedly about Merlin knows what, and he didn't seem pleased about whatever the subject was. After a few moments though, they started grinning and poking each other, laughing in an extremely _Un_ Slytherin way. It was not a very Malfoy _ish_ behaviour, she thought. Well, he _was_ human after all. An intolerable, cunning, irritating human. But a human nonetheless.

'Ron and I wanted to visit Hagrid today, are you coming?' asked Harry interrupting her thoughts.

'I wish I could, but I really need to go to the Library to get a couple of books. I have some Extra Credit that I should really hand in'.

Ron looked disgusted 'I can't bring myself to do the actual homework, let alone some…Extra Credit? You are the ultimate bookworm Hermione!'

She chuckled. 'I really look forward to seeing how you'll manage Auror training once we're out of here'

'I will do wonders. No Snape, no McGonagall. No bloody Slytherins tainting our days'.

'Yeah, mate. Can't really picture them as Aurors' agreed Harry.

'Can you imagine though? We might be able to actually _arrest_ the bloody ferret and his obnoxious father. Pure bliss' a dreamy expression plastered on his freckled face.

'Highly unlikely. They're too cunning for their own good' she commented grimacing.

'Let a man dream, Hermione. Let a man dream' he complained.

'I thought you spent enough hours _dreaming_ , Ronald. You are hardly suffering from insomnia'

Harry chuckled and patted Ron on his shoulder. 'She's got a point, mate'

'Yeah, fair enough…I guess'.

* * *

Hermione was heading out of the Library, nose stuck in the books she'd just taken. She'd been to Professor Vector's office earlier in the day. The teacher seemed happy to see Hermione was feeling better and gave her a whole new list of titles she should use to prepare her extra credit. The books were ancient and genuinely interesting. Hermione was totally absorbed by a fascinating passage about strings and their relevance in Arithmancy and wasn't paying attention to what was happening around her. That's why when she heard a cold voice coming from right in front of her she jumped out of her skin.

'Granger, mind where you are going, will you? You don't want to accidentally knock someone over'

Malfoy. Again. The boy was all over the place. You'd honestly believe that in a place as big as Hogwarts it would be relatively easy to _not_ bump into each other every other bloody minute.

'Sorry to cross your path, Malfoy'

He clearly ignored her sarcastic retort and asked 'Are those Arithmancy books?'

'I don't see how this is any of your business, but yes. They are. I need them to do my extra homework'

'And why on Earth are you taking them _out_ of the Library?'

'Not that I need to give you any kind of explanation, but I had permission to take them away for the night' she answered bluntly.

'Sure you did' he said, unconvinced.

Did the prick _honestly_ thought she was _lying_?

'Once again, Malfoy…this is none of your business'.

'You see, Granger…this is where your argument fails. It is my business indeed, I so happen to need them too'.

'Yeah, sure _you_ do'. Now it was her time to be incredulous.

'I'm not joking, bloody know-it-all' he snarled.

'You can have them tomorrow then, obnoxious prat'

She was about to leave but their loud voices had attracted Madame Pince, who hurried towards them and asked 'What's this noise all about?'

Hermione rolled her eyes. Perfect, just what she needed. More problems.

'Granger is taking away two books that are supposed to stay here'.

' _So typically Malfoy, giving me away on the spot. The spoiled brat'_

'I see that, Mr. Malfoy. It so happens that I was the one who gave permission to Miss Granger to do so, _of course'_.

Malfoy's usually pale cheeks flushed. He just looked like a complete fool. Accusing her of stealing books. You'd think after unfoundedly accusing Harry of receiving a broomstick without permission during their first year, he'd learn to check the facts before pointing his ridiculously long finger at other people. Hermione couldn't help beaming.

'But I need them too, Madame Pince! How fair is it to make such an exception and preclude me the chance to do my homework?'

'Now, Mr. Malfoy. I'm to decide what's fair and what's not. I clearly wasn't aware someone else might need them, given the fact they're extremely difficult and only used in very advanced courses'.

Ha! Madame Pince obviously implied Malfoy wasn't smart enough to read them. Hermione was gloating inside.

'Exactly, Malfoy. I, for instance, need them for my Arithmancy extra credit work...'

'Well, Professor Vector asked me to complete it too, _actually_. You might think you're the only student smart enough to be given advanced stuff, but I'm no idiot, Granger' explained Malfoy bluntly.

Hermione was honestly surprised. She still remembered Harry telling them how Lucius Malfoy chastised his son in Borgin&Burke's for his bad marks, back in their second year. He was top student in Potions, true. But she'd always thought it had more to do with Snape's indulgency rather than Malfoy's abilities. He surely had improved in DADA, probably because he was being – she couldn't even think about it without being utterly revolted – _trained_ back at home. Harry was still way better than him though, of course. Now that she came to think about it, he had improved in Charms too. The only subject he had problems mastering was Transfiguration, really. But it probably was because he was too prejudiced to listen to Professor McGonagall, Head of Gryffindor House.

She didn't know if she was annoyed about Malfoy, of all people, being the only other student Professor Vector considered brilliant enough to complete a more advanced chart, or mildly admired that he was actually smart enough to be considered eligible for such advanced extra credits in the first place.

If there was something she was proud of, it was her brains, not that she would brag about it. Not _anymore_ , at least. She admittedly _was_ a bit of an insufferable know-it-all back in their first two years.

Pince interrupted her thoughts and said 'Well, this changes everything. I'm afraid you'll have to leave the books here then Miss Granger, at this point someone else might need them too – highly unlikely, but given the recent discover she was in no position to disagree - _or_ you might want to work together…or decide to take turns. Still, leave them here, for the other to consult. I'll leave you two to that anyway' and with that…she just left.

They were left alone, studying each other.

Hermione really didn't know what to say, but Malfoy spoke before she could. 'Well, you got here first Granger….try and be quick. I'll just come back later'.

Hermione couldn't believe her ears…no insults? No snappy retorts? What was he playing at? She was still boiling mad for his words earlier that day, and now that she wasn't all emotional she felt the urge to bite back.

'Sure you want to use them after _I_ have been touching them, Malfoy?' she was mad at him, and couldn't stop herself in time. He was such a spoiled, bigoted, self-absorbed _prick_.

* * *

Draco was slightly taken aback, not that he would show it, of course. But for once he hadn't thought about being nasty. Not _particularly_ nasty, anyway. So much for not insulting the bloody know-it-all. As usual Granger was great at getting on his nerves even when he was in no mood for a fight.

'Get over it, Granger. I just want to do my homework, and the sooner you finish the sooner I can start'

She was obviously dubious. Couldn't she just bloody do her homework without complaining or trying to get a reaction out of him?

'Well, I'll just start then…unless you want to sit here and share the books with _the Mudblood_?' she blurted out.

No. Evidently, not. She wanted to fight.

She said that just because she felt there was no risk of him accepting. He actually wanted to leave as much as she wanted him to. He didn't like her – and the feeling was mutual - and spending time with her in the Library wasn't exactly his idea of fun. He was torn for a moment, then he decided that annoying the Bookworm was worth his time.

'Well, I suppose I could stay if you ask so nicely. It will be quicker anyway. But no talking, we just sit there and work, end of it. And try not to sit too close, Granger'.

She was stunned, but tried to hide it. She probably thought spending time alone with her would be something he could never do willingly.

Then a flash of understanding crossed her face. She finally got that he was clearly trying to annoy her. A bit slow for being the brightest witch of the bloody school.

'So Slytherin of you' she hissed.

'Well, thanks Granger. Compliments are always appreciated, even when coming from… _you_ '

It was clear she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of backing up now, so it wasn't such a surprise when she said 'OK then, just work' and headed towards a hidden table in the far end of the Library.

Good choice. He didn't actually want to be seen with her, after all.

They sat one in front of the other, a heavy silence stretching out between them.

Last time they were this close Draco made the girl cry, and he was very aware of that. Could he actually manage to do that again? Twice the same day? _That_ would definitely call for some sort of prize.

She was focused on her homework, there was a resolute look on her face. Her hair was horrendously messy, hastily tied up in a bun. She had pink cheeks and full lips, that she was biting out of concentration. No awful front teeth, though. She got them fixed back in their fourth year. Not that normal teeth would work miracles. The girl was hopeless.

' _She's quite fit if you ask me'_ Blaise's words sounded in his head.

No, she wasn't. Well, she wasn't out of shape. Slender, yeah. But he wouldn't dare calling her _fit._

Pansy was fit. Daphne, definitely fit. And the Weasley girl wasn't too bad either. Shame she was a blood traitor though. But Granger…

She was fairly popular among the Ravenclaws, to be fair. No wonder why. And she was Gryffindor's pride, of course. Not thanks to her _looks,_ though. Hufflepuffs weren't manly enough to even think about girls…

But Blaise…well, Blaise was definitely the only Slytherin that could ever consider the annoying Mudblood _fit_. He didn't count though. He fancied every breathing female, after all.

So, the Mudblood was a virgin. He honestly couldn't say he was too surprised. She definitely gave him the impression of being a prude. She must have felt awfully exposed that morning. Not even Draco could blame her. He was slightly amused, yes. And pleased with himself, too. But he wouldn't have brought up her sexual life, had he known she'd have such a reaction. Not worth the hassle. He was somewhat curious. How would Granger react if he actually tried to, well, _pretend_ to apologise?

Definitely worth a try. For the sake of curiosity. He _was_ bored, after all.

'I…might be sorry, to some extent'.

She glanced at him, startled. 'Excuse me?'

'I said I am sorry', he spelled out.

'I'm not a child, Malfoy. I did hear you the first time, you know'

'It doesn't matter, anyway. We will be over soon, next time we'll try and organize our work differently' she said.

OK, so she decided to play it dumb. Annoying, as ever.

'You bet we will., but I actually meant I am er- _sorry_ for how things went today, you know'.

' _Come on, Granger. Bite back. I'm ready'._

She exhaled and said 'It's OK, Malfoy. You don't have to do that. A couple of tears and you feel the urge to apologise? Really? I mean, I didn't expect anything less from you. In six years I got used to your insults. Always the same things, slightly boring after a while, actually. I don't know why I reacted the way I did, but trust me, it won't happen again. I guess no one ever mentioned my _virginity_ before, and it's something…private. Saying it was a low blow is basically an understatement. So I just…freaked out.'

OK, that was _uncomfortable_. Why did he decide to apologise again? Yeah, to entertain himself. One of his worst ideas ever, actually.

He had to somehow regain his credibility. 'Well, I still don't like you, Granger'

'Of course you don't. And thank Merlin for that! Ew.'

The girl was feisty. Damn her!

'You're hardly a catch yourself, Granger'

'Said Prince Charming himself'

OK, it was the second tame he'd been called _that._ And both times it was sarcastic. Not funny.

'Hmmph'

'What? Don't you agree?' she asked sardonically.

'No, I don't. Plenty of girls would be willing to tell you you're wrong'

'Really, Malfoy? _Plenty of girls?_ Since when did Parkinson become _plenty of girls_?'

'Granger, you might want to stop there' he said threateningly.

But she went on 'I'm serious, Malfoy. Get off your high horse. You've got such a high opinion of yourself. Your Ego is definitely too inflated. You're really just another bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. What's so special about you? You're not even _pleasant_. So, stupid little girls find you attractive. They like the bad boy from Slytherin. Poor them, I say. Drooling after an obnoxious, opinionated prick, which isn't even _that_ good-looking'.

That _bitch._

He wouldn't give her the satisfaction of looking affronted, though.

'Well, we all knew you'd rather _do_ gingers, Granger'

She grinned, unpredictably. She sure was a piece of work.

He was waiting for her next blow. Nothing could have prepared him for what she asked him, though.

'How is it?'

He wasn't sure what she was talking about.

'How is _what_ , Granger? You might want to be a little more specific'

'Well, I thought it was fairly obvious. How is it…sleeping with someone?'

WHAT?!

She didn't just ask him _that._ She just didn't.

His face was flaming…he didn't actually know where to look. What was the bloody girl thinking?

'Who do you think I am Granger, a bloody Agony Aunt?'

'Don't get your knickers in a twist, Malfoy. Asking is legitimate, answering is good manners'.

'Good manners _my ass_ , Granger. I'm not discussing _this_ with you. End of it'.

'If I didn't know better I'd say you don't want to answer because you don't know a thing about it…'

OK, now the bitch was teasing him for the sake of it. And she seemed such a frail little thing only a few hours ago. Bloody hell.

'You honestly can't be serious, Granger. Feel free to go and ask Pansy if _I know a thing_ about it'.

'On second thought…no, thanks. For once in my life I'd rather remain ignorant'

'Prude'

'Asshole'

'Always so nice, Granger'

'You're one to speak!'

'I'm never nice. You should know that'.

'In fact, I do'.

He got up, the situation was definitely too weird, even for him. He needed to go before it got even _weirder_.

'You'll find out for yourself you know, eventually'.

'When I'll find someone _desperate_ enough you mean?'

'Precisely'. The girl was a real challenge. Annoying as fuck. Not to mention she was a _Mudblood._ But still, she was fiery and so amusing to upset. He was a hopeless bastard, he knew that. But hey, what else would you expect from someone like him?

'I'm done here, I'll finish another time. See you around Granger' he drawled while heading towards the exit.

* * *

Hermione couldn't help but giggling. The Prince of Slytherin embarrassed? This was a first.

She would never ever forget the look on his face after she asked him how it was to have sex. She wasn't even sure why she did, actually. Hermione wasn't usually _that_ bold. She just wanted him to feel uncomfortable. And the boldness was a direct consequence of her anger. She was still slightly annoyed, after all.

She didn't actually expect him to answer. It would have been…instructive, though. He must have slept with dozens of girls. Weird enough, given that he wasn't much of a natural charmer. The mysterious and inexplicable appeal of the bad boy. Something she'd never grasp. She'd rather go out with someone kind, respectful and possibly witty. Why would a girl want to spend time with someone as cruel as Malfoy? She suddenly blushed, realising he might have other…gifts.

Well, she was in no mental state to finish her homework. She couldn't concentrate any longer, so she collected her parchment, quills and books and headed towards Gryffindor tower to meet Harry and Ron. Dinner would soon be ready, and she was starving.

The boys were sitting on a sofa by the fireplace when Hermione entered the common room. Harry waved his hand and she approached them.

'So, where were you? We've been looking for you after we came back from Hagrid's! I thought you were just going to grab a couple of books' asked Harry.

'That was my intention, yes. But in the end I had to stay in the Library to work on my Arithmancy extra credit project…'

'Extra credit project. After only a month of school. You are mental, Hermione' Ron sounded sincerely repulsed.

'Well, yes…I don't want to leave it behind…anyway I'll have to go back to the Library later, I didn't have time to finish it earlier…I had to share the books with Malfoy'

'Blimey I don't envy you! I wouldn't even share a used tissue with the Amazing Bouncing Ferret…' said Ron with a disgusted look on his face.

'Well, it's not as if I had much choice unfortunately – in fact she did. She could have kept her mouth shut instead of challenging him. But she didn't say it out loud- anyway…shall we go down for dinner? I'm starving!'

Ron was already at the portrait hole, famished as ever. Harry laughed heartily, their best friend really was a pig.

She got up and followed her two friends through the portrait hole.

* * *

Draco was still flushed when he reached the dungeons. What the hell was Granger thinking? He still couldn't believe she had the nerve to ask him how it was to _shag someone_. He never ever discussed his private things, not even with his friends. Well, they did talk about girls, of course. But… the details? He left it to Blaise to launch himself into very exhaustive reports of his conquests.

When he entered the Slytherin common room he spotted Theo sitting by the fire.

He gestured at Draco and said 'Hey mate! Took you long enough to grab two books in the bloody Library!'

'I had to stop there. Had to share the bloody books with Granger' he said scowling

'Oh did you? And…?' he must have noticed how strange Draco was looking or he wouldn't have investigated further.

'Oh, nothing special…I mean, the usual insults. The girl is exceptionally fiery. And annoying'.

'And _fit_!' shouted Blaise from the staircase.

'Would you please stop that? Lucky me I'm on an empty stomach, or I'd definitely throw up'.

'Well, mate. I must admit he has a point. I mean, she's hardly one of the best looking girls in the school, but she _does_ have something appealing about her. Then again, this is all hypothetical. Because she _is_ a killjoy, _and_ a know-it-all, _and_ a Gryffindor. Too many faults to overlook them' said Theo.

'You forgot the worst of all…she's a filthy Mudblood' added Draco.

'I definitely could overlook that' said Blaise.

'You can't honestly be serious, Zabini'.

Now Draco was annoyed.

'Well, I am, _Malfoy._ Get over it. Not everyone is obsessed with blood purity as your mommy and daddy are. I couldn't care less, actually. I don't want to get involved. All this pureblood nonsense, just not my cup of tea. I'm not devoting my life to the Dark Lord only to end up killed at the grand old age of 18, if I'm lucky. There's always the other option. Which is way worse, if you ask me. Are you really so eager to end up locked in Azkaban? Because that's what will happen to you if the Dark Lord will be defeated and you choose to fight on his side. They'll lock you up and throw away the fucking key, leaving you to rot there'.

'What are you doing here in Slytherin? You really should be in Gryffindor given your newfound bravery…' he snarled.

'I'm not brave, Draco. I'm not acting on some moral belief, and I'm definitely _not_ on the same page as those blood traitors. I'm simply acting on my survival instinct. Which, guess what? Is telling me to mind my own business and stay the fuck away from those bloody Death Eaters. Do you actually BELIEVE everything your father has taught you? Do you, for instance, really think that Granger's blood is somewhat different from ours? And even if it was…is it worth dying for?. Thank you very much, but…no'.

'Easier said than done, mate' said Theo.

'My father would kill me, after of course having tortured me, if I actually decided not to take a side. He'd actually kill me even if I took _the other_ side. Hell, he might kill me _even_ if I decide to fight on _his_ bloody side. The man is a nutcase, really' continued Theo, in a fruitless attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

Draco was astounded.

'Blaise, do you really expect me to fight my own father? You know I will not. I _don't want to_ , actually. And even if I did…I couldn't. Both Theo and I can't'.

'Well, I could…if my father finally died, the bastard' said Theo.

Blaise clearly wasn't up for a verbal fight. 'Never mind, Draco. You know what I think about this whole thing. And if you were honest and cared a little bit more about your own safety you wouldn't disagree'.

'It's exactly for my own safety that I keep my mouth shut and an extremely low profile. Agree with Father, do what he says…and be safe. Simple enough. I might not like it, but that's the way it is'.

'What happened with Granger, by the way?'

Bloody Theo.

'Yeah, Draco. What happened?' echoed Blaise.

Well, he should probably thank Theo. He'd rather talk about Granger than about his future in the Dark Lord's ranks.

'She asked me how it is'

'How it is…what?'

Theo. He could be thick, sometimes.

'To shag, you idiot!'.

There was a moment of silence. Then both his friends started laughing hard.

'Well, what's wrong with that? She was curious…after all she practically admitted to you she was a virgin, she thought she might as well ask you how it is to do it. I mean, I don't think she has many girl friends, given her attitude. And I can imagine she wouldn't want to ask Potter or Weasley…too embarrassing. But she doesn't really give a shit about you, mate. I can see _why_ she asked _you_ of all people. What did you answer then?' .

Argh. Theo. Unbelievingly matter-of-factly. And nosy. Too bloody nosy.

He shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. How came he was so bloody good at putting himself in such stupid situations?

'What do you think I told her? Nothing! Did you actually expect me to confide her my most burning desires? Please!'

'Scared?' asked Blaise. The prick was teasing him.

'You wish, Blaise. I just told her she will find out for herself, eventually'.

'You bet she will' he answered cheekily.

'Now, could we stop talking about Granger? And sex? And most importantly sex _with_ Granger? It gives me the creeps'.

'Why are you in such a state?' asked Theo. The boy never knew when to shut the fuck up.

'I mean it's not that big of a dea- Wait! Are you a..?'

'I AM NOT' he abruptly interrupted him.

'Oh, yes you are! How comes?'

Draco's face was beet red. He's never been angrier in his entire life.

'How comes _what_ , Nott? I told you I'm not! Mind your own fucking business, will you?'

'Do you like boys, Draco?' Blaise asked defiantly.

'ZABINI! I most certainly do not' …the nerves of him!

'Well, there's nothing wrong with that…' he said dismissively.

'Open minded as ever. Well, I do _not_ like boys, for Merlin's beard! And _of course_ I have done things with girls, you idiots. And I honestly don't know why I'm telling you this'.

'Because we're your favourite friends in the whole wide world and you love us!' cheerfully suggested Theo.

'Yeah, indeed'.

'Anyway…don't worry, mate. _You'll find out for yourself eventually_ …'

He decided to ignore Theo's implicit joke.

'I'm not a bloody virgin! Honestly, go and ask Pansy. You two can really be the most annoying pricks Hogwarts has ever seen'.

'Even more than Potter and Weasley?' asked Theo, pretending to be hurt.

'If you say another word I might think you are'.

Blaise chuckled, Theo grinned…Draco sighed. 'I might decide I'd rather go back to hanging out with Crabbe and Goyle, you know'

'Be our guest' said Baise.

'You wish, Zabini'.

Merlin's bollocks.

'You two are way too nosy'.

'You love us. You know you do. And it's only fair for you to know that we love you too' Theo said playfully.

'Lucky me, then'.


	3. Chapter 3

**So, here's the third chapter. I just wanted to tell you a few things about the story...I know nothing major has happened so far, but I honestly hate the stories where things are rushed. I believe that, with them being so different from each other, it's only fair for Hermione and Draco to need time to get closer. In my mind the story is all planned, I've even written a few more chapters which I'm currently editing, but these first chapters are essential to lay the basis on which everything will be developed. That being said, I hope you like this new chapter. Thanks for reading...and I'm sure you know how much your reviews would be appreciated! :)**

* * *

Hermione sat at the usual spot at the Gryffindor table, followed by Harry and Ron. It was a good spot, she thought distractedly. _Their_ spot. And she could scan the room without having to turn. She could see what was happening in the Hall without being caught staring. ' _Sneaky me',_ she thought. She then threw a sidelong glance at the Slytherin table and noted that Malfoy and his friends were there already. She couldn't see his face as he was facing Zabini and Nott. The latter was talking animatedly while Malfoy shook his head and Zabini smirked. She wished she could hear them. What if Malfoy told them about what happened? Oh Merlin, they might use it against her! They probably couldn't wait to, knowing how Slytherin liked to embarrass and humiliate other people just for the sake of it. How dumber could have she been, honestly? Asking _Malfoy_ of all people how it was to have sex. She still couldn't believe she had the nerve to. Why did she decide to in the first place? She kept repeating to herself that she did it just to irritate him, but the ugly truth was that she was genuinely curious. Irritating him of course was a bonus. ' _Curiosity killed the cat, Hermione'_ she reminded herself. She'd never dare asking Harry or Ron, though. Definitely not Ron, anyway. That would just be… _weird._ Harry though…no, he was a very private person. He'd just blush and stutter and act all weird on her for weeks. She really didn't care about having asked Malfoy. It wasn't the asking part that bothered her. The only real problem was that she expected cruel jokes in return, she would have understood such a behaviour. But his reaction…his uneasiness, well _that_ was something she couldn't have foreseen. He had seemed awfully uncomfortable, not his usual arrogant self. Apparently even Draco Malfoy had a weakness. ' _Of course he has one Hermione, don't be silly. Everyone does'_. She just would never have thought his would be…talking about sex. Funny, actually. Or was it talking about sex _with her_ that had bothered him to such an extent? But…too much Malfoy for one single day. She tried not to think about what happened in the Library and enjoyed her dinner, animatedly talking with her two friends about the approaching Hogsmeade week-end.

Ron was complaining about having left too much homework behind, as usual, when Lavender approached him. Oh, Merlin. Could the day get any better?

'Here you are! I've been looking for you _eeeeverywhere!_ What are you doing?'

'What do you think he's doing? He's _eating_. Incredibly enough, it happens every day in the same place at the same time, Lavender' Hermione answered before Ron could.

Lavender threw her a contemptuous look and ignored her entirely.

'Never mind _Ronnie pie_. I've finally found you!'

Hermione leaned towards Harry, defeated, and whispered 'Ronnie pie? He's really letting _her_ call him _Ronnie pie?_ Please tell me this isn't happening'.

'I'm afraid it is' he chuckled.

'This isn't funny. I could vomit, you know. Stupid, brainless b-'

'Hermione, please. They'll hear you. Don't start a fight'.

'I've got 4 words for you, Harry. Yeah. And. So. What?' she really couldn't care less about them overhearing her. She was in a foul mood, thanks to how Malfoy made her day marvellously shitty.

'Let's just try and avoid a verbal fight OK? Please?'

'Yeah. She's not worth it, anyway' agreed Hermione.

' _Ronnie_ and I are going out…alone… _for a walk'_ Lavender squeaked excitedly, implying that she wasn't exactly planning on _walking_.

Was she really that thick or was she purposely trying to annoy Hermione? Probably the latter. Actually…probably both.

Ron's ears were beet red. He was trying not to look like a complete fool, unsuccessfully of course. He perfectly knew how little Hermione liked the other Gryffindor girl, and he wrongly, at least from Hermione's perspective, decided that the best course of action was to stay out of the way and let them sort out their differences. His plan wasn't honestly working that well, and Hermione was just even _more_ annoyed because of his lack of resolution when it came to the matter in question.

'Thank you for gracing us with your presence _Ronnie_. See you later, _enjoy_ your…how did you call it again? Yeah… _your walk'_.

She didn't succeed in keeping her tone even, her displeasure quite palpable.

Lavender was obviously pretending to be oblivious. The girl was exceptionally good at ignoring Hermione's cutting remarks. Ron was shifting from foot to foot, tremendously uncomfortable, but unsurprisingly, he didn't say anything.

Once they left, Harry sighed in relief, turned towards Hermione and asked her 'You really dislike her, don't you?'

'Stating the obvious, are we? I thought I've made it clear enough. She's just… _stupid._ Too thick to be true, really. I mean, I know she's not inherently evil…and I know I should just accept the fact that her and Ron are _nice_ … _ish_ together. But I have nothing in common with her and in all honesty I can't get what he sees in her'.

'I don't like her too, you know. But I like Ron, he's my best mate. We really should make an effort with Lavender, he seems genuinely happy with her. Maybe she's not that bad, you know. She might behave like that because she feels threatened and she's just afraid she'll lose him'.

'Threatened by what exactly?'

'Well, by _you_ of course! You're not properly…easy to deal with' he explained with a certain level of caution and discomfort.

'I'm just _a friend_. He's never considered me as anything else and he's clearly very fond of her…how could I be a threat, in all honesty?'

'I know you aren't Hermione. But does Lavender? I mean, they've been through a lot of ups and downs and I guess she's just scared he'll choose you over her, given the fact that you keep stigmatizing their relationship and you aren't making things any easier for Ron'

'I'm _not_ stigmatizing their bloody relationship, Harry!'

He gave her a pointed look.

'OK, well…I _might_ be…antagonizing _her_ …a little bit. But they're OK now, aren't they?' she felt slightly ashamed about her behaviour. Harry was right, she wasn't acting very maturely.

'Yeah…their relationship seems stable now'.

'Isn't that _wonderful_?' she couldn't help saying.

Harry sighed and asked her 'Hermione…do you…I mean, do you still have, ehrm… _feelings_ for him?'

 _Oh Merlin_. Did she? Well, there was a time when Hermione thought she had a thing for Ron, and she couldn't accept the fact that he considered her just a good friend. It was a big crush, and she often fantasised about her life with him. She eventually realised that they could never be together, though. They were too close, and there were certain things about his behaviour that she'd never come to terms with, such as his extreme laziness. Or the fact that he was always eating like a pig and nothing seemed more important than food. She found those things fairly comical as a friend, but she could never put up with him as a boyfriend. They'd probably end up biting each other's heads off. Not that they didn't already. She smiled and thought about all the things the three of them had been through, she was so glad to have Harry and Ron in her life. They'll always be her best friends, no matter what. And she really should stop ostracizing Lavender. She resolved to be a little more diplomatic from that moment on, if only for Harry's sake. Her friend didn't deserve to be caught in the crossfire.

'No, I don't. I mean, no _romantic_ feelings anyway. I just can't stand Lavender. She makes no efforts no be a little more pleasant with me. Always trying to mark the territory when she's around Ron. I mean, that's annoying. More than slightly'.

'Yeah, more than slightly' he answered absent-mindedly

Suddenly Harry leaned closer and whispered 'I need to tell you something…', a grave expression on his face.

'You know you can tell me anything you want, Harry. Spill the beans!' Hermione told him worriedly.

'Well…Ginny and I broke up' he blurted out, his eyes on his plate.

'I know, Harry' she told him softly, relieved it was nothing concerning Voldemort.

His head snapped up and he looked genuinely startled. 'Did she tell you? I thought we agreed abo-'

'She didn't tell me anything. I figured it out for myself. I mean, you used to spend a lot more time together, now you barely speak. Is it because you don't want her to be associated with you? Are you scared she could be hurt by… _them_?'.

'No, no…nothing like that…not making the same mistake twice. I mean, I'm a boy, I'm stubborn…and I know I can be thick…but I'm _not_ Ron!'

Hermione smiled ruefully, apparently Ron didn't consider going back with Lavender a mistake. Harry was expectantly waiting a reaction, so she shook her head and asked him 'Then what happened?'

He clearly couldn't wait to tell someone. 'Nothing major. We simply didn't….click, I guess. I mean, she's gorgeous, and funny…and fiery. _Too_ fiery, probably. I mean…she needs someone who can stand up to her. And I need someone who won't try to boss me around at any possible chance. You know me, Hermione. I'm mostly quiet, but that doesn't mean I like to be the ultimate doormat'.

'You are nothing like a doormat Harry, don't worry. I'm sure you were a wonderful boyfriend' she chuckled.

'Thank you. It makes me feel better. Anyway…it was a clean break. And we're still friends, of course. She's an amazing, clever girl and I want her in my life. I sometimes miss her, you know. Like…the cuddles, our long talks…'

Harry was blushing, so Hermione spoke, trying to make things easier for her friend 'You miss _being with her_ , but you don't miss _her._ I get that, and there's nothing wrong about it _'._

'Well yeah. Ron is going to kill me for breaking up with Ginny, isn't he?'.

'Why should he? This is none of his business and…there was no cheating involved…you weren't meant to be together. As simple as that'.

'You don't understand….I've been his little sister's first…well…'

'You've been her first sexual experience and he's going to go berserk because you _took Ginny's virtue_ and didn't end up marrying her'.

'Exactly'.

'Honestly, Harry. We're not in the Middle Ages, he'll come around. It's really not his problem what you and Ginny decide to do with your lives'

'Should I tell him then?'

Hermione thought about his friend's question for a moment then nodded and said 'Yeah, I think you should tell him before he finds out from someone else'

'Yeah, exactly. Especially since she might be…seeing someone, you know. We actually talk a lot, still…and she mentioned it, casually. She said she might tell me more about it later on, when she's _sure about it_. It must be something serious then, right?'

'Oh, well…it could be. When the time feels right, you can ask her…I guess. This of course if you're OK with that…?' Hermione asked softly.

'Well, yeah…I'm not _jealous_ if that's what you're asking…but Ron will be. He will first give me a lecture for breaking his little sister's heart, which as I told you it's not the case…then he'll try and find out who her new boyfriend is, never leaving her alone. I know him like the back of my hand…I have his reaction all pictured in my head' he sighed.

'Well, if I were you I'd let Ginny take care of it…I mean, you could tell Ron that you two broke up and decided to be friends instead…and leave the new boyfriend part for her to tell, if she decides to of course'

Harry nodded and said 'Yeah, you're right, as usual' and he hugged her gently, stroking her back affectionately.

Hermione leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. She was so fond of Harry, he was like the brother she never had and she'd never feel anything different for him, even though during the past years many people implied that there was something going on between the two of them. They didn't like the attention, especially since the rumours were far from being true. And that was why they didn't show their affection for each other too often in public, it would be misunderstood for something it really wasn't and they were sick of telling people they were just friends.

'We're causing scandal, Hermione' he said chuckling.

'Scandal? Oh for Merlin's sake it's just a simple hug! When will people in this school start acting maturely?' she said surly.

'Yeah, go and tell Malfoy it's just a hug. He looks like someone who's just eaten a vomit flavoured bean. What's _his_ problem?'

'I think he has more than one. Both mental and behavioural'

Harry grinned and said 'No, honestly. He keeps looking this way. Can't he pick someone else to annoy?'

Hermione waved her hand 'Oh never mind him, I really can't be bothered to pay him any more attention today. I'll go now Harry, I really have to finish my Arithmancy assignment, remember?' and with that she got up ready to leave.

Harry looked up and said 'I'll see you later in the common room then, don't be too late little bookworm!'

'Oh shut up, will you?' she answered laughing, and left the Great Hall, heading towards the Library.

* * *

Draco, Blaise and Theo were having dinner and Draco was telling them about the Slytherin Quidditch Team Trials, that would take place the following Saturday.

Theo was saying 'I'm going to try then, I want to become the new Slytherin Chaser. We'll kick everybody's asses mates!'

Draco shook his head in disbelief.

'Are you actually serious Theo? You hate Quidditch' asked Blaise, mildly surprised.

'Yeah I do, but can you imagine how cool it would be telling _the girls_ I'm the new Slytherin chaser?' he explained grinning stupidly.

'Trying to improve your status Theo?' drawled Draco in his usual tone.

'No need to now that I'm your friend. All the girls think that you are waaay cool' he said irreverently.

'Wow you flatter me, Nott'.

'Theo, I'd be careful if I were you. Draco here might ask you out if you keep complimenting him. Which is quite the opposite of what you want, I reckon? Weren't you trying to impress _girls_?'

'Well, yes!' confirmed Theo hastily.

' _And_ –Draco cut in – that's the exact reason why you should start complimenting _Blai_ se, not me'.

'Touché. That was a good one, Draco' admitted Blaise.

'Whatever I do is good, Zabini'

'You wish, Malfoy'

Draco grinned and resumed eating. He then turned and threw a look at the Gryffindor table and saw the _Golden Trio_ sitting at their usual spot.

Weasley was sitting next to his girlfriend, a brainless bimbo whose name he didn't remember. Not that he'd ever even tried to.

'What's the Weasel's girlfriend's name again?' he asked out of the blue.

'Something like…Violet? No wait…it was some sort of flower…' answered Theo promptly.

'It's Lavender. Lavender Brown' said Blaise.

Well of course _he_ would know.

'Gave her a try, have you?'

'Actually, no. She's too stupid even for me'.

And that was saying _something_.

'I don't understand what she sees in Weasley, she isn't bad looking for being a… _Gryffindor_ , after all' said Theo.

'Not really my type, mate' said Draco.

'And since when do you have a type Draco?'

Draco shrugged his shoulders and said 'Dunno. I suppose I prefer brunettes though. You?'.

'Well, I like them dark-haired all right, yeah. Light-eyed, possibly. And most importantly, _quiet_. I _hate_ the bossy ones'

'I like them all, as long as they're willing to have some fun, actually'

'I really had no doubts about it, Blaise'.

'Brown is not so bad, anyway – continued Blaise ignoring Draco's remark - not my type either, but still too good for that redheaded idiot'.

Draco turned again and saw Potter and Granger sitting in front of Weasley and his girlfriend. He still felt a wave of warmth reach his face when he saw her.

And Theo, of course, had to notice that, too.

'That witch put a spell on you, I'm quite positive about it. Still thinking about her, aren't you?'

'What are you now Theo, a bloody Seer?'

'Jeez, mate. Relax, I was just joking'

'Well, I don't like you implying that my thoughts dwell on the filthy Mudblood. She's just a bloody know-it-all, I couldn't care less about her and what happened earlier'.

Blaise rolled his eyes and said 'Which is of course why you keep turning to stare at her'

'I'm _not_ staring at Granger, you idiot'.

'Yeah, whatever Big Bad Boy'.

'What are you trying to say, Blaise?'

'Oh, nothing really. Just that you have the most peculiar way of showing _how little_ you care about things'.

He waved his hand dismissively, not wanting to incite Blaise.

Theo was still staring at the Gryffindor table and asked 'Do you think Potter and Granger are dating?'

'Don't be ridiculous Theo, what makes you think Potter would date her? Hell, why should _anyone_ date that bitch? ' he asked inquisitively.

'Oh, I dunno. The fact that he's stroking her back and she's leaning on his shoulder seemed quite a good indicator to me' he pointed out.

Draco couldn't help but turning yet again, just to witness Potter being all over Granger. He never thought they could actually be more than friends. Were they together?

'Why Potter doesn't mind touching that filth is beyond me' he spat acidly.

Why did he dare touch that filthy Mudblood, indeed?

Draco had always been taught that the most important thing was keeping his bloodline pure, so the bare thought of dating a Halfblood made him shiver, let alone a _Mudblood_! Draco couldn't tell exactly why, but he was furious. He knew he shouldn't care less, but he just felt an inexplicable anger seething through him.

'I mean, look. Look at the two of them. Aren't they _ashamed_? Granger is _a Mudblood_ , for Salazar's sake! She shouldn't even _be_ here'.

'A _Mudblood_ that keeps outsmarting you in every single class, though' remarked Blaise, annoyingly.

'Excuse me if _I_ have a social life. Plus, she's never _outsmarted_ me in Potions'

'That's just because you're Snape's _pet_ , Draco' continued Blaise in what seemed a well-succeeded attempt at making him lose his cool.

'Shut your mouth Zabini. I'm sick of talking about her. Hmmphh, I'd rather have my hand cut off than touching her, anyway. But Saint Potter wouldn't care, obviously. He's always so smart, so perfect, so open minded, so _fucking_ everything'.

'Mate, what's your problem? So, Potter is hugging Granger, what a big deal. If I didn't know you I'd say you're jealous' Theo said coolly.

' _Come on,_ Theo. You can't possibly be serious. I'm simply utterly disgusted by their public display of… _affection_ ' he said stressing the last word.

'You know there's quite a simple solution to that, right?'

'Being what Blaise? Care to enlighten me?'

'Amazingly enough…you could turn around and stop _staring_ at the bloody Gryffindor table, so that your delicate eyes won't be tainted by what you inexplicably and yet obviously find a disturbing sight'.

Blaise was really getting on his nerves. Treating him like a bloody child. What was the bloody idiot trying to accomplish? He was that far from losing it completely. He lived his whole life under the pressure of being a Malfoy. His father always expected the best from him, nothing less. And yet there was this annoying, ugly, filthy _Mudblood_ who prevented him from being the best student of their year, and his father made always sure to point that out, among other things, making him feel like less than scum because of it. Always stressing the fact that Draco was a failure to his eyes. His _own father_ considered him a weak, untalented nothing. And even though the connection between him failing at his father's eyes and Granger's academic achievements was all but logical, he somehow blamed her. In his head she was what stood between him and his father feeling proud of him.

He honestly didn't know what got into him, but suddenly he wanted to leave the Great Hall, the soonest the best.

He just needed a few minutes alone to calm down, or he'd probably jump at Blaise's throat. So he swiftly got up and told his friends 'I'm off to the Library. Thanks to bloody Granger I still have stuff to do. Don't wait for me tonight, I will be late'.

He left before any of them could say a thing. He'd had enough of their stupid remarks.

Once he got there he saw, with great displeasure, Granger sitting at the far end of the Library, her nose in her books. _Of course_ she'd be there. She hadn't noticed him yet, so he took his time to think about his next move. He could leave unnoticed, but he felt the urge to confront her. She wasn't responsible for how he felt in that moment, but he somehow he blamed her. It _was_ her fault. Because she was unnerving, because she always got better marks. Because he was a Pureblood wizard, and yet he always came second. After a bloody Mudblood. And his father always made sure to make him feel like a vermin because of this. He _needed_ to blame her. Before he could change his mind he took a step forward. This couldn't end well. But he really didn't give a shit.

'Next time you should get a room, Granger'


	4. Chapter 4

**WARNING: Hello everyone, before reading this chapter please note that the story is rated M for a reason. I just wanted to warn you as the content of this chapter might be disturbing for someone as it involves mild violence. The descriptions aren't too graphic, or at least I don't think they are...but it only seemed fair to let you know. Having said that, I really hope you enjoy it, it was hard to write it, but I really enjoyed it...and of course thanks for reading and reviewing! :)**

* * *

Granger looked up, an annoyed expression on her face.

'Next time you should look at your own plate instead of staring at us the whole time, Malfoy'.

'I wasn't _staring_. It wasn't me who noticed your disgusting display anyway…I merely acknowledged the fact once it has been pointed out'.

'Well no one else took the trouble to bother me about it, though'.

'No one else is as outspoken as I am. I find it important to let you know how revolting you two were'.

'Again, Malfoy…no one told you to _keep looking_ '.

'Oh please! As if I actually liked what I've seen! Regrettably the scene is still impressed upon my poor mind. Saint Potter and the _Mudblood Whore_. Could be the title of a horror fiction. I'd never have thought you'd take my advice so seriously and find someone so quickly. What did you offer him Granger? Did you _pay_ him? What could anyone possibly see in an insignificant, pathetic and untalented filthy _Mudblood_? Not even Potter could possibly be _that_ desperate for a shag' his face was twisting in anger. He wanted her to _hurt._ He wanted her to feel inadequate and useless. He wanted her to feel the weight of _not being enough._ He wanted her to feel his spite, he wanted her to know the extent of his loathing.

'Actually, now I see what you were doing. Occupying your rightful place. _Beneath_ a wizard, with your legs sprawled. You _Mudbloods_ are only good for one thing. And it clearly isn't performing magic'.

Granger was shaking. Her ears were red and her eyes were glistening. Draco felt way better. Every tear she shed, every hurtful glare she launched him was a sort of twisted medicine that helped him cure his battered Ego. She deserved all of it. He wished his friends could see him now. See _how much_ he liked the filthy Mudblood. Fucking idiots.

Before he knew it she was on her feet, her finger pointed at him, trembling with anger and frustration. 'Leave me alone, Malfoy! If I'm such filth, then leave me _the fuck_ ALONE! You sick bastard! You really don't give a shit if you hurt other people's feelings, do you? What is it, are you a sadist? Do you like to see other people hurting? I guess it's the only way you can _get off_ , you perverted piece of shit' she hissed between tears.

All it took him was a moment. In the blink of an eye he was on her. He pushed her hard against the wall and her head cracked worryingly. He started choking her and she desperately gasped for air. Somewhere deep inside he knew it was wrong and sick but he couldn't stop.

'Shut up, you fucking bitch! What the fuck do you know about me? You don't know shit-all about fuck, you bloody fucking _cunt_!'

She was trashing and struggling to break free, but his grip was too strong. He was concentrating all his hate, his hurt and his fear of the future in his hands. Granger was panting and tossing, her face pale and her lips blueish…she was trying to pull his hands away from her throat, without success.

After a while she stopped fighting and went limp, so he slightly loosened his grip. This was enough and she finally managed to say ' _I…can't…br…th'_ between chokes and tears, a terrified look on her face. And those eyes, those big, cinnamon, terrified and pleading eyes were enough to make him snap back to reality.

Those eyes, that would haunt him forever. The eyes of a person that thought she was about to die. At his hands. At his _fucking_ hands. He nearly chocked her to death. He nearly fucking killed her.

He suddenly let her go and took several steps back, his face horror-struck and his hands shaking. What had he done? What the fuck had he done?

Granger was shaking, and as soon as he let her go her legs collapsed and she unceremoniously fell down to the ground. She was still trembling and crying, her hands massaging her throat, where, Draco noticed, the red marks his fingers had left were more than visible.

He felt sick, a severe and intense sensation of nausea pervading him. He played the scene in his mind and he saw _her eyes_. The complete and utter terror and the silent plea in those brown, teary eyes. Her expression. Her face. Resigned, terrified. Like a trapped animal that knew its time was coming. Her _fucking_ eyes.

His head was spinning and he couldn't feel his legs nor his face. His hands unconsciously went to his cheeks, to make sure his face was actually still there, and much to his surprise it was wet with tears.

It was all too much. Granger on the floor shaking, his stomach upside down, tears running down his cheeks and, he realised with utter disgust, his cock rock hard. What…?!

She was right. He was a perverted bastard. A fucking perverted piece of shit. He nearly fucking killed a-a- _fuck it!_... a bloody _person_. And still he had been turned on.

Much to his relief as soon as he realised that, his erection disappeared.

It was sick. Sick _sicksicksick_. And wrong.

Totally fucking wrong.

It was all too much to take, so he just bent over and violently vomited his dinner on the Library floor.

He then moved a few steps and just collapsed on the floor next to Granger.

'G-Granger…I-I am… _fuck_ …I don't k-know what…' he couldn't even form a coherent sentence, for Merlin's sake!

The girl looked up, her face a blotchy mess. Her lips trembling and her nose running.

He instinctively reached out to touch her, to _comfort_ her? Of all things. And she violently jerked away.

'Don't touch me! Stay the fuck away from me, you _fucking_ _monster!_ ' she hissed between sobs. And he really couldn't blame her.

Granger swearing. She nearly never swore. It was unsettling, and she must have been _really_ upset and pissed off. Well, naturally she was. Who bloody wouldn't?

'Granger…look I-I am sorry. I don't know what got into me, I wasn't thinking. I would never have…' but he trailed off, realising how hypocritical it all must have sounded. Because the truth was that he nearly… _fuck._

'I'm a fucking bastard. I'm sorry, really sorry _Hermione'_.

And at the sound of her first name the girl looked up again, staring him straight in the eyes. She was scared, yet furious.

'Fuck you _Draco_. You don't get to say my first name. You don't get to say my first name and think things will be alright. You nearly fucking choked me to death, you loathsome evil twisted snake! You need a fucking Therapist. I've always known you were a bigoted bastard, but this? You nearly _killed_ me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe, you idiot! Do you have any idea how scared I was? I thought you wouldn't…oh _God_ , I thought you wouldn't stop! And you aren't sorry, you don't get to say you are sorry and think you can amend what you've done with an empty five letters word!' and she started crying harder than before.

He really was at a loss for words.

Yes, he knew how scared she was. He fucking knew. And what scared him the most was that he too thought he wouldn't stop. For a second he didn't want to. And the bloody erection? Shit. What did that make him?

'What were you trying to do? _Kill the Mudblood_? One less to go?'

'Granger, you can't say that. You can't honestly think I did it because you-'

'Shut up! Just shut up! I can't say what? I can't say that you are a bigoted, prejudiced little shit that enjoys tormenting Muggleborns? Because hey, I thought that's exactly what you were!'

'You can't honestly think I did it on purpose, Granger!' he pleaded her.

'Oh, so your hands found my neck on their own accord and started _fucking_ strangling me without you wanting to? Is this what you're trying to say Malfoy?'

'Obviously not, I meant that…that I wasn't all there, I didn't realise what I was doing until I saw your eyes and I realised how scared you were and how fucking wrong it all was…you might not trust me, but please, _believe me_. I didn't mean to harm you'.

'Sure you didn't' she said grudgingly.

And she was right. Oh so right. He did mean to harm her. His last thought before launching himself at her throat had been 'I want her to _hurt_ ' and Merlin he did. She was shaken and her face was ashen. And yes, she was a Mudblood, but for fuck's sake he nearly fucking _murdered_ her!

'Wh-what happens now then?' he asked sheepishly.

'Scared of being expelled, Malfoy?' she asked almost defiantly.

Yes. Yes he was scared. But not of being expelled, no. That would only be fair. He was scared because he nearly killed another person. An annoying, self-righteous person, but a person nonetheless. He was scared because a sick, unconscious, twisted part of him had actually enjoyed it. The power. The control. How was he supposed to deal with that? He just wanted to forget about it. Pretend it never happened. But he couldn't forget. He would remember the terrified look on her face. Her silent plea. Her tears. He would remember it every time he'll see her.

'Concerned, yeah. Scared…no. It would only be…reasonable' he admitted.

'I won't report you, Malfoy' she sighed.

It took his mind a few moments to process what she'd just said.

'You…won't?'

He didn't understand. It was her occasion of getting rid of him, and she had all the reasons to want him expelled. If tables were turned, he would report her. And realising that made him only feel worse.

'No. I will not'.

* * *

He couldn't believe his ears, she could tell that much. Hermione was still shaking and couldn't stop a steady flow of tears from falling down her cheeks. She still couldn't believe that _Draco Malfoy_ nearly choked her in the Library. He was a prejudiced idiot, but she'd never have thought him capable of something like _that_. He clearly wasn't in his right mind. She could still picture his eyes, glazed and distant. His face, twisted in anger. She could even still feel his hands on her throat. He should be reported, she knew it. _Oh Merlin_ an hex _,_ she could have dealt with…but a physical attack? No. _That,_ she didn't expect. _That,_ she didn't know how to deal with.

'But…why?'

Yeah, why indeed. She should rush to McGonagall's office, report the sick bastard and have him expelled straight away. She should, but she _didn't want to_. Why? Because she was the better person. Because she was Hermione Granger, and she believed in second chances, even when it came to people like Draco Malfoy, who was, with every chance, that far from being beyond redemption. Because she could see how utterly disgusted with himself he was, and how horrified he looked once he actually realised what he'd done. Because she could still see him, retching on the Library floor and shaking violently. Because she simply wasn't someone like… _him_.

'Because _people like me_ would do something like that, even for _people like you_ '.

Even for people _like him_.

'I…I-I don't know what to say'.

'Then don't say anything. And stay away from me. The fact that I'm not willing to report you doesn't mean that I'm OK with what you've done. I'm _not_ OK. I'm disgusted and scared, and angry. This decision doesn't make things OK, Malfoy. Your _"apology"_ doesn't make things OK at all'.

'Yeah, I guessed that much…' he said ashamedly.

She still couldn't process what had happened properly, but what surprised her the most was the steadiness in her voice. What really stunned her was her firm will not to give in to the turmoil of emotions threatening to take control over her rational self.

'I just wanted to make it clear'.

He nodded and got on his feet. His vomit was still on the floor. Thank Merlin Madame Pince wasn't around that night. _Thank Merlin?_ She should have _hoped_ for Madame Pince to come and save her. And yet, after realising what he'd done he had looked so vulnerable, so scared…and she pitied him. Because he had always been sheltered from real life. His family made sure the only thing he grew up certain of, was how to hate whoever was _different_. She kept looking at him while he _scourgified_ the floor and his clothes and moved away, so that she could leave. He looked so helpless it nearly scared her. Of all the things Malfoy had always been…well, _helpless_ had never been one of them.

Hermione took a deep breath and moved forward. Malfoy was looking at the Library floor when she passed him.

A shiver ran down her spine at the thought of his hands on her throat. At the thought of still being _so close_ to the boy who nearly strangled her to death.

But she'd taken her decision, and she wasn't going to take it back now. She _would not_ be scared of Draco bloody Malfoy. He wouldn't be given _that_ satisfaction.

She was about to leave when he spoke again.

'I wanted you to hurt' he whispered.

'This is what shocks me the most, Granger. For a moment, there…I wanted you to really hurt. I…I- _fuck_ I don't know what happened to me'

She was half-shocked by his confession and wasn't sure why he would expose himself to such an extent. Wasn't what happened bad enough?

Still, for once in his life he wasn't acting like a coward. He was taking responsibility for his actions, he was telling her the truth. A scary, revolting truth.

She couldn't find an appropriate answer. What was he expecting her to do? _Thank him_ for stopping in time? Telling him he wasn't a monster? She couldn't do that, so she just told him the first thing that came to her mind. Not that it wasn't true.

'Living like you do….I find it _sad_ , you know. Goodnight, Malfoy'.

She left him there, his mouth open in disbelief.

She wandered the corridors until she found an empty classroom. She had to heal the red marks on her neck before going back to Gryffindor Tower, otherwise _Draco Malfoy_ would with all certainty suffer a very painful death at the hands of her best friends. And she needed time to _think._ Alone.

* * *

Draco was heading towards his dormitory when he heard Blaise calling him 'Hey…Draco!'

Not now. _Please_. Not now.

He was a complete and utter mess, his clothes scruffy and his face red and flushed. His red eyes would be a dead giveaway. _Dead._ _Deadly. Death. Granger._ Shit, he had to leave. He wasn't ready to face Blaise, who could be a prick, but most certainly wasn't an idiot. He'd notice something was off straight away. He couldn't be seen like that. Dishevelled and out of control. He was Draco Malfoy, he couldn't afford it.

Without turning around he answered 'Not now, Blaise. I'm off to bed' with what he hoped was a neutral tone.

Forlorn hope, as Blaise wasn't fooled. He _was_ a Slytherin, after all.

'You stubborn git! Stop for a second!' he said grabbing his arm and forcing him to turn around.

He looked down, at his feet and said 'Blaise, I want to go to bed, _please_.'

'Since when do you _plead_?' he answered raising an eyebrow.

'Blaise, I'm not telling you again. _Not now'_

Then he made a mistake. He looked up. And his friend saw his messy face. There would be no getting away now.

'What the fu-'

'Don't. I'm going to bed _now_. End of discussion'

'You're not going anywhere. Not before telling me what _the fuck_ happened to you'.

And Draco knew he was as stubborn as a bloody Hippogriff and it was no use trying to avoid him.

'Nothing I'm willing to discuss'

'I've never, since I met you years ago, seen you in such a messy state. Now, you have two options. Either you tell me what _on Earth_ happened to put the posed, cool Draco Malfoy that _I_ know in such a state, _or_ I'm going to fucking force it out of you. And it won't be pleasant. Plus, as I am no fool and I know where you were and who you in all likelihood met there, you can skip the part where you try to convince me that this has nothing to do with Granger, and jump straight to the part where you tell me the truth'.

 _Fuck._

'We had a…fight'

Fucking wonderful way to put it.

'You _always_ do, but I've never seen you come back with _that_ look on your face'.

'It was a big fight'.

Really? A _big_ fight? Was it the best he could come up with? For Merlin's sake.

'Draco…' he warned him.

'Yeah, that's my name'. He might as well play it cool.

'Is it too much to ask you why are you acting so curiously?'

'I'm mad'.

Blaise was about to retort but Draco interrupted him. He felt a wave of shame and anger surge and he couldn't bring himself to stop.

'I'm fucking _mad_ at _you_ because all of a sudden _you_ question my beliefs. Mad at my bloody father because he told me I ought to feel superior and apparently I have no reasons to feel so, according to _you_ at least. Mad at fucking Potter because he's supposedly always doing the right thing and he can always make me look like an idiot, no matter what. Mad at Granger because she's so unnervingly the best at all she does, always being the bigger, better person. Mad at Weasley because he can be friends with whoever he wants to and he doesn't care being labelled as a blood traitor, while I couldn't even decide who I wanted to hang around with. My father decided for me…so I ended up with Crabbe and Goyle. I've spent the past six years dealing with those two…and you know they're as dumb as a bloody boggart! It took me six bloody years to realise I'd rather hang around with you and Theo! How ridiculous is that? And last but not least I'm mad at _myself_ because I can't even bring myself to choose your lifestyle. I can't confront my family, I can't rebel. I just can't and I know I will end up with a bloody Mark on my left arm, or even worse…I'll die fighting! And the worst thing about it all is that I _don't want to change._ I don't want to fail my father. There's nothing that will change that. Not one thing'.

Blaise was still grabbing his arm, an astounded look on his face.

'Draco, what the hell happened in the Library?'

'I nearly fucking _killed_ her, Blaise! Happy now? Is this what you wanted to hear? I physically assaulted her and nearly fucking chocked her to death! I'm a fucking monster! I nearly killed her and for a tiny moment I _enjoyed it_. I'm disgusting'.

'You…you what?!' even Blaise didn't know what to say.

'We were fighting, and she told me the only way I was able to fucking _get off_ was while torturing others. And I lost it. I just lost it and I nearly strangled her' he sighed without looking at his friend.

'Draco… _fuck'._

'Yeah, I'm a fucking mess'.

'Shit. Has she reported you yet?'

'Now, _this_ you're going to like. She said she's not going to'.

'She what?'

'Apparently _people like her_ do stuff like this for _people like me._ My ass saved by a bloody Mudblood, would you bloody believe it'.

'How can you still call her a _Mudblood_ after…this?'

'Well, that's what she _is_ '.

'You just said you were disgusted by your actions, Draco. You said you are a monster…and yet you call the girl… _a Mudblood?_ '

'I don't see how the two things are connected'

'You what?'

'I do not see ho-'

'I heard you all right. I was just giving you the chance to change your answer'.

'Well, why should I? Yes, I did say I was disgusted. I did call myself a monster. But I fail to see how this should change the fact that Granger _is_ and _always will be_ a Mudblood'.

'You're a nutcase'.

'Don't go all weird on me now, Blaise'.

'I'm not going all _weird_ on you, you self-righteous idiot. I'm just trying to understand, and failing to so far, what exactly your problem is. Is her life worth less because she's a _Mudblood?_ Is this what you are trying to say? Because, by how you put it, it really looks like this is what you're saying'.

'This is not what I said…and she wouldn't be any less _dead_ if I didn't manage to stop. There's no point in dwelling on this or crying over spilled milk' he added trying to change the bloody subject. _She wouldn't be any less dead if…_ and another wave of nausea hit him with full force. _Shit_. What if he really didn't manage to stop? _Shitshitshit_. He knew what he'd done was sick, but really admitting it was a whole different story.

'This is exactly what you said. Draco, for crying out loud…she is _a person_! She is a _girl_. How having Muggle parents automatically means she's any less deserving of living? Fuck, this is sick!'

Yeah, it was sick.

'I-I don't think she should be… _dead_. I just think she shouldn't be _here_ in the first place. Of course she deserves to live, Blaise! Who do you take me for? Who would wish someone else's death at his own hands?'

'Here's a piece of news for you, Draco. _Your father_ would have killed her. _You dear Aunt Bella_ would have killed her. _Your bloody Dark Lord_ would have killed her. Not to mention the torture that would have certainly preceded her death. This is what they do, you know. They don't just wish people's death. They _kill_ people. They would kill Granger on the spot just because of her blood status. They would actually kill her for something she isn't even responsible for! What if one day the Dark Lord wakes up thinking _"I'm tired of killing Mudbloods. I'll start killing blondes instead, because they are different from me, and they deserve to die for that"_ What would you do then? Tell me…would that be a good enough reason to kill people? Because, as crazy as it must sound to your bigoted ears, this is exactly the same thing as killing someone because of his or her heritage'.

'This is the stupidest example I've ever h-'

'Is it, though? Open your eyes Draco. This is what you're signing up for. And if I weren't too interested in living for more than a couple more years, I swear I would _love_ to be there to witness how pathetically you would fail. Look at you, you are a mess. You stink of vomit and you can't even look me in the eyes. And this for _nearly_ Killing someone. What do you think you would be asked to do? Make tea for the prisoners and braid their bloody hair? Honestly, did you ever stop to think about what _people like you_ do to _people like her?_ And spare me the part where you call me a coward or throw the fact that I have "betrayed our values" in my face, because I'm honestly not taking any more of your shit. I've told you already, _this_ is not a good enough reason to kill for. This is not a good enough reason to sell my soul to a madman…and most probably die because a hypocritical Halfblood snake says I ought to _weed out_ the world so that Purebloods can feel better about themselves!'

Draco was speechless. He didn't even want to _hear_ any of it. He didn't need to be lectured, he didn't want to dwell on what his friend just so passionately pointed out. He didn't want to think of _Granger_ as an equal. Because that would just make things worse. Because then the guilt and shame for his actions would be too much to bear. Because then he would really crack, and he clearly was fucked up enough already. Shit. He was a failure. How was he supposed to follow his father's footsteps when _nearly chocking a Mudblood_ put him in such a state? And what about the small part of him that was turned on by the violence? It scared the shit out of him. It was revolting. _He_ was revolting. And Blaise had a point, a point that he wasn't and probably will never be ready to hear.

'I..I-' What could he honestly say?

'Save yourself the trouble of retorting Draco. I find it so… _sad_ that you actually believe you don't have a choice. Because I refuse to think you _really, truly, deeply_ believe in all that shit'.

 _Sad._ That word again.

'Sorry to disappoint you, Blaise'.

And he really was, sorry. But what else could he say? Who else could he be? _This_ was the only thing he knew. The only thing that felt safe.

'Let go of me Blaise. I want to go to sleep now'.

'Sure you do, and while at that think about what you've done. _This_ isn't normal Draco. I'm no saint, I'm not a bloody hero. But…this is not _sane_ '.

Enough. Enough guilt, enough fucked-up _ness_.

'Goodnight Blaise'.

He parted without looking at his friend's face. He didn't need to take a bloody look to know what he would find there. What he _did_ need though, was some rest.

When he finally managed to sneak under the blankets he couldn't wait to just sleep. He turned the torchlight off with a movement of his wand, which he then put on his night stand. In the dark there was no escaping from the thoughts that threatened to break him. He tried to sleep, he tried really hard.

But all he could see were _her eyes._

* * *

Hermione was sitting on the floor of an empty classroom. It was past curfew, thank Merlin she was a Prefect, otherwise she would have been in trouble.

On the journey from the Library she kept shaking. Malfoy wasn't there, in front of her, so she could surrender to the emotions. The fear, the relief. The utter disgust. And the pity. The pity that she really didn't want to feel, but couldn't help to anyway.

He could have killed her. Or worse.

Because Hermione Granger might be inexperienced, but she wasn't naïve. While trashing and trying to break free…or at least to get to her wand, she felt… _him._

It was unsettling and sickening, it was filthy. Did he really enjoy hurting her that much? Was he _that_ far gone?

She was lost in her thoughts when the classroom door opened. She had been so shaken that she forgot something as simple as a Locking Charm. And now someone would see her dishevelled state and her red-rimmed eyes, and she honestly was in no mood to give explanations or make up poor lies.

Of all the people that could have crossed that threshold though…well _he_ was one of the last she had expected to see.

'Granger?'

'Nott'


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's a new chapter. I hope you're liking the story so far. Thanks for the reviews, it really means a lot!**

* * *

Well, wasn't it perfect? Of all the people that could have found her, it had to be Theodore Nott. Malfoy's bloody buddy. Just her luck. Thank Merlin it was too dark for him to see her face.

'What do you want?' she asked sharply.

'Hey hey, I come in peace' he said raising both his hands and basically reading her mind.

'Well, you never know with the Slytherins...'

He snorted, politely ignoring her retort, and asked 'Anyway… _what_ exactly are you doing there on the floor?'

'Thinking'

'Stupid me! Thinking of course! Who wouldn't _love_ to think on the floor of a dark empty classroom in the middle of the night? And here I thought it was something you could also do while lying in what I'm sure is a very comfortable four poster bed up in wherever you Gryffindors sleep!'.

Much against her will, she had to admit the boy was quite fun. Nothing like Malfoy, that was sure.

'It's hardly the middle of the night' she said dismissively, trying to steady her voice.

'Anyway I…like the quietness. You see…our quarters can be a little too…crowded'.

Who was she trying to kid? Lame excuse. She really hoped he wouldn't investigate further.

'Yeah, you definitely have every right to complain about it. I, on the other hand, really can't say a thing. I mean, our quarters are huge, luxurious and well-lit! No dampness, no spiders…we're so bloody lucky…especially when you think we could have ended up in dark, cold dungeon. And the people there, all so cheerful and witty. I mean, have you seen Crabbe and Goyle recently? Adoringly interesting to spend time with. No, I really can't complain' he said sarcastically.

'Trying to nonchalantly pry information on our whereabouts out of me Nott?'

'You're too clever to fall for such a naïve attempt. Plus, unbelievable as it must sound, finding out the whereabouts of the Gryffindor Common Room isn't exactly my only aim in life, you know' he said coolly.

OK, apparently he meant no harm. Which was good, given what had just happened with his stupid friend. All she needed to do was play it cool, steady her voice and do her best to sound… _fine_.

'What are _you_ doing here in the middle of the night?' she inquired.

'I was heading back to my _lovely_ Common Room, of course'

'This doesn't explain why you felt the urge to stop here and open this classroom's door'

'I saw you' he admitted.

Weren't Slytherins supposed to be cunning and sly? Why was he being so blatantly honest? Hermione didn't understand him. She thought she'd better be cautious.

'And you thought you'd make a detour and come here to bother me? Is it Slytherin's _'Let's bother the Gryffindors'_ Week or something of the sort?' she commented acidly. She knew she wasn't being fair. To be perfectly honest Theodore Nott had never actively participated in bullying her, nor he'd ever shown signs of aggression. Still, she didn't trust him completely. He must have had his own share of insanity to be friends with someone like Malfoy, after all.

'I actually came here to check on you' he explained.

'Well, I am fine. Thanks for your kind interest'.

'Oh come on, you don't look _fine_. You know it perfectly well'.

'You surely know how to compliment a girl, Nott'

'I'm not going to hurt you, you know' he offered softly.

Well, what was _that_ supposed to mean?

'Wow well, thank you Nott. Now I really feel better'.

'You can stop that, you know'

'Stop _what?'_

'Pretending you don't know what I'm talking about'

 _Oh. He knew._

She cast a Lumos so that she could actually see his face, there was no point in hiding hers anymore.

' _You_ tell me what you're talking about' she answered, not wanting to be the one to bring it up.

'I-I..well I so happened to enter the Library when you were shouting at Draco, you know…' he trailed off, clearly not at ease with what he'd witnessed.

'Did he send you here to make sure I'll keep my mouth shut then?' she inquired accusingly.

'Merlin, no Granger! I came here because I'm not a bloody monster! Why do you think there always must be an ulterior motive?'

'Because you Slytherins always have your own hidden agenda and during the past years none of you have properly given me a reason to trust you' she said matter-of-factly.

'Fair enough, I'll give you that. But as surprising as it must be…no. I haven't spoken with Draco yet. Not that I'm willing to, I'll leave it to Blaise to lecture him when he finds out what he's done. And Merlin knows how much the boy deserves a good scold'.

'Blaise as in Blaise Zabini, right?' she asked in what she knew was an incredulous tone.

'Yeah, how many other Blaises do you know? He's the campaigner, you know. I can't bring myself to be as passionate as he is, I simply can't be bothered. I'm not interested in making Draco see reason, you know. I find it a pointless waste of time. I merely disapprove of him beating _a girl_ and I thought it wiser to come check on you rather than confront him, or I would have…' and he trailed off again.

His gaze darkened and his eyes went vacant. She was clever enough to read between the lines, and there was something that disturbed him. Something he wasn't saying. And as much as she would have liked to _know_ what his secret was, she was hardly on friendly terms with the dark-haired wizard. He seemed genuinely interested though, if not…concerned. She was slightly taken aback by his surprisingly kind behaviour. Yeah, she felt he indeed had ulterior motives, but she wasn't sure what exactly they could be.

' _Beating_. What a mild way to put it'.

'How do you want me to put it Granger? Does it change what has happened? It's just words…and I still can't believe he did something like that. He can be a real prick, but…I mean, chocking someone to death? I have a hard time believing he would have actually done it'.

'Well he was that far from _doing it_ , in case you didn't notice'.

 _And he enjoyed it._

'Which is why I'm here checking on you…I'm not trying to condone what he's done Granger, I'm just saying I didn't think he was that much of a monster and his behaviour kind of surprised me. I didn't think he had it in him…the violence you know. I don't know what got into him...it's weird'.

'Your friend is an idiot. A colossal jerk. And you could have the decency of admitting it'.

'You bet he is, I'm not denying it. But as you so skilfully pointed out he's my friend nonetheless. I'm utterly disgusted by his actions, but I'm not his father…I'm in no position to give him a piece of my mind, and as I told you I'm not that interested in doing it either'.

She snorted. 'His father would be bursting with pride, no shit'

'Well what else would you expect from a Death Eater?' he said grimly.

'Fair point well made, I guess'.

'I'm not here to discuss how stupid Draco can be or how horrendous his father is, though. I'm just here to make sure you're OK'.

She wasn't OK. Hermione was way far from being bloody OK. A boy she'd known for six years had just tried to strangle her, for crying out loud! Yeah, an obnoxious, prejudiced boy. But someone she didn't think capable of being so violent. She'd always thought he was something of a bragger. Someone who'd blatantly boast about being this big important baddie, while actually being just a scared little child who couldn't say no to his daddy and would do almost anything to keep his own ass safe. She wasn't so sure about it any longer though. And then, here there was Theodore Nott, of all people asking her how she was feeling after being physically assaulted by none other than one of his closest friends. Could things get any creepier?

'I'm not OK. But I guess you're smart enough to know it already. I thought he wouldn't stop, you know. I fought him, I tried. I tried to break free with all my might, I tried to push him away or reach my wand to hex the hell out of him. But he was stronger, and I was scared. So in the end I stopped fighting. I just accepted that Draco _bloody_ Malfoy was going to kill me. I stopped fighting, Nott. I gave up'.

Once the words were out there was no stopping the tears. She was sobbing desperately, her body was quivering, her hair a royal mess and her face all swollen and puffy. She barely acknowledged Nott approaching. He sat on the floor, right next to her and simply stood there. He didn't even try to comfort her or reach out to touch her, he just sat there, patiently waiting for her to let it all out, and Hermione had never been more grateful of such a delicate and silent presence.

After a while he cleared his throat and told her 'Shit, Granger…I'm sorry you had to experience something as traumatizing and degrading as physical violence, especially at the hands of one of my oldest friends. These things…just shouldn't happen'.

Hermione once again was surprised by the kindness in his words, and she asked herself what caused such an empathic reaction, if anything. He could simply be a very compassionate young wizard, despite being a Slytherin. The difference between him and Malfoy was…unsettling.

She wiped her tears and steadied her breath. Crying helped her feeling slightly better, but it didn't change the past. She couldn't help thinking about Malfoy…about his anger, his violent reaction, his disgust with himself and his tears. It was all too much…she sighed in defeat and shook her head. Then Nott spoke again and she focused on him.

'Granger…you still there?'

'A caring Slytherin, you do realise you might be one of a kind, right?'

He shook his head and said 'I wouldn't say I'm _caring_ , Granger. I'm not a cold bastard, that's all. This doesn't mean I'm some sort of knight in shining armour, Merlin forbid! Don't go all hopeful on me now, I'm still a Slytherin after all. No bravery, hearts and flowers…I'll leave that to you Gryffindors' he said, his lips twisting up.

'OK, now that you've reassured me I'm definitely feeling better. Well…thank you…for checking on me, you know' she nearly whispered.

He shrugged his shoulders and waved his hand. 'You would have done the same, had it been someone else in your place'

'Very true, but _I am_ a Gryffindor, after all' she said smiling openly.

'You are indeed, Granger. I, for instance would have reported him straight away'

'And that is why we've been Sorted in two different Houses, Nott'

'Nah, I actually don't think you did that because you're a Gryffindor to be fair…you did it because you're _you_ '.

Hermione didn't know how Theodore Nott could read her so well, but she couldn't disagree. Harry or Ron would have run to the Headmaster's Office even to report smaller, less serious infractions. She couldn't though. She was ashamed of having ended up in such a dangerous and stupid situation, and she still couldn't shrug the feeling of pity she felt for Malfoy. She disliked him, and he'd proven himself as sick as his father and all of Voldemort's entourage. But, still…he was just a boy. How could a sixteen-years-old boy be that far gone? He must have had a good side, buried deep down, or he wouldn't have been so astonished and disgusted with himself for what had happened.

'May I ask you something Nott?'

'Will you refrain if I say no?'

'No, I won't'

'Well, at least you're honest. Go for it then'

'What _exactly_ do you see in Malfoy? I mean, he's a friend…OK. But he's a racist and he's treating everyone with contempt, even who he consider an equal. He's shallow and mean, and his only concern is his own personal profit. You're nothing like him from what I can tell, so I fail to see what you two have in common and why you put up with him' she said gently.

'Why do you all keep asking me about him?' he mumbled half to himself.

'What?'

'Nothing, nothing. Forget about it. Anyway, to answer your question…he's just about fine when we're alone. Fun, witty, ironic. Always in a very Slytherin way of course, but quite pleasant to hang out with'. She snorted, clearly implying that a _pleasant_ Malfoy was something difficult to imagine. Nott noticed her reaction and added 'I _know_ you hate each other, and this will probably never change, but he really can be the average teenage boy you know. And you are right, we're nothing like each other, but this doesn't mean he's the ultimate shit and I'm the never-failing good-doer. Actually, in certain ways I'm more to blame than he is. At least he sort of _believes_ he's in the right. I, on the other hand, am well aware that all this Pureblood pride is utter nonsense, and yet I'm not acting on it. Blaise is going to take a side, you know. Even if he keeps blathering that he's keeping away from the Death Eaters just to save his own ass, well…I think there's more to that. I think he _truly_ dislikes all this prejudices and he'll end up fighting against his own family and friends if he has to. While me…trust me when I say I hate my father, and I would _love_ to see him lose this war and rot in Azkaban, but still I have no intention of taking a side. It won't be my father's and it won't be yours either. I will just sit back and wait for all this shit to be over. Isn't it worse? Knowing that what they're doing is _wrong_ and deciding not to fight them?'

'You still have time to change your mind, you know. Sometimes I think all people need to join the war and take a side is a good, valid reason. You might find one that is good enough for you'

'A good reason such as?'

'It could be anything really. Revenge…for the death of someone close to you…possibly at the hands of the _"other side",_ or love…love is always a strong and powerful reason'.

'Love? A good enough reason to fight and potentially die? Don't count me in on that. I'm not selfless enough'.

'Clearly you haven't fallen in love yet…well, anyway you told me about Zabini, about yourself…what about Malfoy then? What's the key to his appalling behaviour?'

'Oh Draco…well, it's simple. I think he's just envious and resentful and he can't deal with all this feelings that he's trying to keep bottled up, clearly miserably failing in the process'

'Envious?' Hermione couldn't believe her ears.

'Yes. Can't you see? He's always been expected to be the best at everything just because he's blessed with the supposed honour of being born in a Pureblood family. His father brought him up making him think he was above others just because of his heritage, and this is where his superior attitude comes from. Draco has such a high opinion of himself with no apparent reason because he's been told that just for the fact that he's who he is he deserves to be treated differently. Better. When he arrived here six years ago he expected things to be easier for him, he expected teachers to be indulgent and most of all he expected people to _like_ him just because he was Draco Malfoy. Imagine the disappointment when expectations met reality. Imagine the bitterness that derived. Imagine the discomfort and the shame. He had to put up a façade, a mask of arrogance and haughtiness, if only to justify a lifetime of teachings. We both know he's always had the wrong attitude towards things, what you probably don't know is that he paid for it all over these years. For instance, he had to start working really hard to get good marks, because surprise surprise being a Malfoy didn't grant him any sort of unjustified respect or favours. The only teacher that favoured him was, unsurprisingly, the Head of his own House, which is quite close to the Malfoy family as well as his Godfather'.

'Snape's Malfoy's Godfather?' she asked in mild surprise.

'Yeah, but this is hardly the point, is it? What I'm trying to tell you is that I think he's changed…to some extent, you know. The problem with someone like Draco Malfoy is that in order to change he has to swallow his pride and fight against a lifetime of wrong preconceptions that his very family fed him with. And even if he were _willing_ to seek…redemption? I don't like the word but I don't know how else to put it, anyway…even if he did want to really change it would take an horrendous amount of time. It's easier to just be a prick and annoy the shit out of people, to behave like the big bad boy we both know he isn't. A lot of people think he has it easy…what no one sees though is that he's really started working hard and he's doing his best to meet his father's expectations, he's very hard working and yet he always comes second. And who's the one person that always gets better grades than him and outsmarts him? _You, Granger._ A Muggleborn. I see nothing wrong with this, mind that. As I told you I think all this Pureblood pride is just nonsense and nothing prevents you from being extraordinarily better than a Pureblood witch or wizard. I think Crabbe and Goyle are actually a perfect example of how inbreeding can lead to lesser intelligent wizards…and they're Purebloods. But if, like Draco, you were brought up thinking that Muggleborns were undeserving of a magical instruction, if every day of your life you'd been told you ought to be better because Muggleborns were way inferior and they were the enemy because they were usurping your magic and threatened you world …wouldn't you believe it, at least a tiny bit? Wouldn't you despise the so-called blood traitors like your friend Weasley, for turning their backs on the other Pureblood families? If then you add this the fact that the famous and renowned Harry Potter refused his friendship the very first day of school, in front of a whole bunch of people, making him look like a complete fool…you can see why he's such an ass to you three. I'm not saying he's right, I still believe he's a prick. But at least I understand how his mind works. He's spent his entire life wearing a mask, metaphorically speaking of course. Better being clear, given his father's…affiliations – he joked humourlessly – And now he's nearly of age, and he's expected to join _them_. And I am positively sure that he _doesn't want to_ , but he'll do it. He'll do it and yet he'd make a terrible Death Eater'.

'What do you mean?'

'Exactly what I've said. I don't know why I'm telling you this, Granger…but the prime Death Eater instructions have always been to keep our heads down and let the adults handle things. Basically we've always been told to keep quiet, because it's not smart to appear less than fond of Harry Potter, the famous Boy-Who-Lived and it's not wise to openly despise Muggleborns. I can tell you for sure that this is what Lucius told Draco to do, because I've been told the exact same things by my own father. And yet Draco openly defies every single instruction he's been given. He's never quiet, he isn't subtle in the least and I can just picture his incoming failure to become a Death Eater in my mind. And he knows all this things far too well, even though he'd never admit it. He knows he's not Death Eater material and I really think he would last about a day, if not less. He knows he's not going to last, but he is trapped. He's angry and resentful, and scared. And he's never had a single serious problem in his entire life before now, so…this is all too much and all I'm saying is that I don't think he's coping too well to be honest'.

'Oh really? I would never have guessed. I'd say he isn't coping at all' she retorted dryly.

'Look, I know you are mad at him…you have every reason to. Now I hope I've given you an insight on Draco's mind, to help you process things…but no one can change what has happened and no one will be able to _help_ you get over it. No one but yourself, Granger. I could stay here all night discussing the reasons behind Draco's attitude, but this wouldn't change the fact that he's attacked you and you will bear the scars of his attack for a long time. And I'm not talking about the red marks on your neck. Your decision not to report him is noble, OK. But we both know it's not only for Draco's sake you're doing it. You are trying to bury it all deep down where you won't have to deal with it, but it won't work forever. This things don't just …pass. Not all of a sudden, at least. You will be scared at first, you'll have nightmares, you will have flashbacks and then you'll loathe him a little bit more every day. And as _you_ 're a good person the anger will eventually subside, and acceptance will take its place. One day you will wake up and you'll be _fine_. One day you'll wake up and decide you can forgive him. Time is the key. Patience and a strong will to…move on'.

Hermione didn't really know what to say. She was a bit overwhelmed and she had so much to think about. So many new pieces that added to the puzzle that was Draco Malfoy. And Theodore Nott really was something. Unexpectedly mature, if a little too cynical and self-serving.

'How comes you're not like him? You keep saying it's his family's fault, but in the end he must have his own share of fault too…I mean you've been taught the same things and you don't go around hurting people or nearly strangling them to death, or…' and she trailed off, suddenly realising what she was about to say.

'Or…?'

Hermione didn't want to tell Nott about Malfoy's physical reaction to the violence…it was something she was so ashamed and scared of…and she didn't want to face it. Because saying it out loud made it real, and she didn't know if she could face Malfoy ever again at that point. What really scared her is that she didn't know if his reaction was due to the violence itself or to… _her._

'Or… _enjoy_ it' she admitted, hoping he wouldn't understand what she really meant.

'Do you honestly think he _enjoyed_ it, Granger? I saw him before, while you were shouting at him…he was scared and ashamed…and he couldn't even keep his dinner down'

'The dinner is not the only thing he couldn't _keep down_ ' she retorted before being able to stop herself.

Thank Merlin, Theodore Nott didn't read between the lines, and if he did he didn't say anything.

'I'm not like him because of many reasons, Granger. He's had a happy childhood, you know. He's fond of his family...they mean the world to him. Let's say I wasn't that lucky and stop there'.

Hermione would have investigated further, but she was extremely tired and she really needed to be alone. As much as she appreciated Nott's help there were things she needed to examine on her own. 'I-I-…well I'm going back to Gryffindor Tower now…I really could use some rest'.

'HA! I knew you'd slip eventually…so you _do_ sleep in one of the towers! Lucky bastards…'

'NOTT!'

'Just joking Granger, don't get your knickers in a twist now' he said smiling.

'Thank you for… _this._ You really aren't that bad Nott'

'Yeah, whatever…but don't go around telling people I'm a _good Slytherin_ or whatever your little Gryffindor brain is thinking about, because I will deny having helped you, if it's the last thing I do' he said carelessly, before getting up and reaching for the door.

He was already out of the room when he turned around and said 'You're a good person Granger, don't let this change you too much. You _know_ he's not inherently evil and he hates himself for being so fucked up…he could be…helped, you know'.

'He'd have to find someone willing to do so' she mumbled.

'Or someone willing to do so should find him' he said while leaving.

Hermione was alone, again…but at least she was feeling a tad better. And she had to thank _Theodore Nott_ from preventing her from completely breaking down. Life could be really strange sometimes.

* * *

The following morning Hermione met Harry in the Gryffindor common room, hoping he wouldn't notice the dark marks under her eyes.

'Where's Ron?' she asked glancing at the staircase leading to the Boy's dorms.

'Not awake yet' yawned Harry.

'He'll be late for classes!' she remarked with an a horrified tone.

'His problem, not mine. I am barely awake myself'

She giggled, not a morning person her Harry. Well at least he was in no condition to notice the traces of a sleepless night on her face. He tried to scowl and yawn at sat the same time, and his expression reminded her of a very thoughtful bunny, which made her laugh hysterically all the way down to the Great Hall. They sat at their usual spot and started loading their plates.

Harry turned around and said 'I'm so glad you gave up the whole S.P.E.W. thing and stopped throwing sharp comments every time the food appears, Hermione'.

'I don't see how starving to death would help the House Elves' cause' she half-muttered.

When they were halfway through their breakfast a very flustered and messy-looking Ron appeared.

'Blimey Harry! You didn't wake me up!'

'I tried mate, believe me. I gave up after you uttered something about physically harming AND hexing me if I dared opening the curtains' and at that the three of them laughed again.

While Harry and Ron kept talking about this or that Hermione threw a look at the Slytherin table. She spotted Nott and Zabini, but no trace of Malfoy. He was nowhere to be seen. She involuntarily met Nott's eyes and he raised an eyebrow. She gave him a questioning look and he knew what she was asking wordlessly.

He shook his head and discreetly mouthed 'Room locked. No answer…not good'.

Why on Earth did the prick have to play the victim when what happened was his own bloody fault?

She shook her head back and mouthed 'Attention-seeker', but both her and Nott knew Malfoy was probably in a very dark place, trapped in his own head.

' _Well, it serves him well'_ she thought _._

But, did it really?


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry it took me so long to update, I'm still editing the previous chapters and Christmas has been a busy time! If you add to that an horrendous workload from my office...the result is a poor author on the verge of a nervous breakdown and...late updates! Anyway...hope you like the chapter! Btw, I have read it loads of times, but it hasn't been betaed yet, so please forgive any mistake! I just really wanted to update and couldn't wait any longer :P**

* * *

Hermione's thoughts were still lingering on Malfoy's annoyingly childish behaviour, with a hint of well-hidden concern that just made no sense whatsoever and that she chose to ignore, when out of the blue Harry asked them 'Would it be possible to become friends, or well… at least _be friendly_ , with a Slytherin without wanting to hex the hell out of each other?' adding hastily '…theoretically speaking of course?' to pinpoint that he wasn't talking about anything too specific.

Both Hermione and Ron looked puzzled, but the freckled redhead recovered first and nearly shouted 'Merlin's bloody bollocks, Harry! Are you nuts? Why would you even _want_ to?'

Harry shrugged his shoulders and said 'I don't know, yesterday I met Nott and…'

Ron looked horrified and cut Harry midsentence, saying 'What were you thinking? Hanging out with that lanky snake!'

Harry kept shrugging his shoulders, probably as a way to dismiss Ron's (predictable, if someone asked Hermione) reaction and explained 'We had a Potions essay to do, Ron. It wasn't properly a pleasure trip'

'What did he do then?' asked Hermione sounding the right amount of casual while trying to investigate if the dark-haired Slytherin told Harry something relevant, or something that could help her understand the mysterious Theodore Nott a little better.

'Nothing' said Harry, exhaling and once again shrugging his shoulders.

'And how does this qualify as a bad thing?' she inquired interestedly.

'Well, that's exactly the point. It doesn't' answered the bespectacled wizard, looking the right amount of stunned.

Apparently Harry, unlike Ron, wasn't as blinded by hate as Hermione thought he might be. It was slightly surprising, given his less than friendly relationship with most of the Slytherins. They generally were an awful lot, especially Malfoy and his lackeys, and Harry was too often the target of their nastiness. Yet, he seemed genuinely interested in Nott's unusual behaviour. Unusual for a Slytherin, that is. But maybe there could be decent ones. Nott seemed quite a decent person, particularly after his surprising moral support the previous night after the whole 'Malfoy going crazy on her' incident. Hermione shivered at the thought of the pale blond's behaviour but decided to put aside her problems and save Harry from Ron's predictably stupid reaction. She was about to speak when her redheaded friend nearly jumped up. Here it went again, Ron, as usually happened, was quick to judge. His prejudices towards the Slytherins, though not completely unfounded, definitely clouded his thoughts. His features were distorted in disgust, his trembling hands a clear give away of his current mood. 'What is it that you're trying to say mate? That you had a _good_ time? I mean…you kind of lost me…what now, Slytherins are suddenly our best buddies and no one told me?'.

'Hhhmppphhh, Ronald just shut up and listen to Harry, will you?' she cut in, definitely _not_ in the mood for one of his childish tantrums.

Harry threw her a grateful glance, then turned towards Ron and patiently explained 'All I'm saying is that he's been unexpectedly professional and neutral Ron…and that he might not be a complete arsehole. He's still a Slytherin though…so I was just wondering how much of an act his behaviour could have been. They _are_ quite conniving, after all. So, really…what do you think?...'Mione?'.

Hermione paled slightly, the first person she thought of was stupid Draco Malfoy, again. Even though Nott did have a point when he said Malfoy wouldn't make a good Death Eater, she still thought he was the quintessence of Slytherin, after all. Assuming that the previous day never actually happened…could she ever be friend with him? If his atrocious behaviour throughout the past five years was an indication, he would never be civil with her. She shivered at the thought of their last few exchanges and decided that no, they could never be friends. Not ever. Too much of a difference, too many bad things that had happened, too much prejudice on his side. On both sides actually, as she still thought he was a complete and utter idiot. But Harry was clearly talking about something less specific, some sort of general Gryffindor-Slytherin friendship, or amicable relationship. Which couldn't bring any good anyway. Apart from possibly permanently injuring a Slytherin while making it look like a tremendous accident. True, Nott was somewhat different, but she saw him as the classic exception that proves the rule. Plus, he sort of made her promise she wouldn't label him as a _good Slytherin_ in front of her friends, so she wasn't going to encourage Harry.

Hermione finally looked at him and answered 'Well, I could open a very long debate to analyse if it were actually possible and I am sure there could be exceptions…possibly. But I guess the answer is, not too regretfully, a big, fat resounding NO'.

Harry shrugged his shoulders once more, it was sort of becoming his new nervous tic, and said 'Yeah, I guessed so…probably the only good thing that could result from some sort of friendship with a Slytherin is the appealing possibility of managing to have Malfoy hexed by someone above suspicion'.

Ron seemed relieved that all resolved in pretty much nothing, snorted and said 'I'd rather do it myself. Much more satisfactory' then finally resumed stuffing his mouth and seemed a lot happier than a few minutes before. Hermione threw another glance towards the Slytherin table and noticed that both Nott and Zabini were missing. Probably heading towards Transfiguration. Once Ron finished his fast, yet conspicuous breakfast they all got up and headed towards their classroom. The redheaded boy saying to himself 'What a nice breakfast and a wonderful quiet morning. Nothing can ruin it, I'm pretty sure about it. Not even McGonagall and her stupid Transfiguration class'. At that Harry leaned towards Hermione and whispered 'It's clear that Ron hasn't learned our timetable yet. Wait until he sees who we share this class with…' and they both entered the classroom chuckling.

* * *

Theo was having breakfast when Blaise joined him, a dark an ominous look on his face.

'Bad news mate?' he inquired with his mouth half full. Thank Merlin, Draco wasn't around to scold him for his lack of manners.

Blaise exhaled and prepared to recount what happened the previous night. ''Morning Theo. The idiot isn't answering. I nearly blew the bloody door up but nothing. It's locked, and the Charm must be a good one, 'cause I couldn't undo it. You wouldn't believe what he confessed yest-'

'I know already' cut in Theo. Not in the mood for a reminder of Draco's momentarily psychopathy.

Blaise looked puzzled and asked 'Well, wow…did you actually manage to speak to him? And more importantly…is he still alive?'

Theo swallowed his toast and said 'No I haven't, and I'm not planning to. You know what I think about hitting women…anyway, I sort of helped Granger sorting herself out yesterday night after the…er _incident_ , you see…'

Blaise arched his eyebrow and said 'I do. So…what now? Do you plan on getting involved or not?'

Theo laughed bitterly and answered 'I'd let him rot there, the idiot. But I know you're more of a bloody social carer and you wouldn't possibly agree so…I'd say let's just let him be for now, we'll deal with the kid later'.

Blaise nodded approvingly and mumbled 'So you spoke to Granger…'

It was Theo's turn to arch his eyebrows now, he couldn't quite get what his friend was trying to imply. He then casually shrugged his shoulders and said 'Indeed. She was completely out of it, mate. Not that I blame her…I mean, fucking choking her to death? I never thought Draco would end up being a violent psychopath. An annoying prick, yeah…but this? This is serious shit, I mean…he could have been expelled…or worse, he could have fucking killed the girl'.

Blaise looked almost defeated, while nodding in agreement 'Yeah…I gave him a piece of my mind about it. Bloody idiot. He's always thought being a Death Eater would be _cool_ , would you imagine? Torturing innocent people and the rest of the package that comes with following a bloodthirsty madman. And now that he's been pressured by his father even more than usual, now that he's seen what it is like to _be_ like them and things are getting serious he realises he can't cope. Right about bloody time, I'd say'

'Let's go bang that door down, mate. You get to do the talking, though' said Theo.

'Agreed' said Blaise.

And they left, heading towards the dungeons.

* * *

' _Kill me! Just do it, sick psychopath! Kill me!' screamed the girl. She was facing the wall, he was pressing against her and could feel her body shaking violently. He pressed her even harder and hissed 'Shut the fuck up! Someone will hear you, stupid cow!. The girl started sobbing and whining 'Stop the pain, stop…please just end it. Kill me,_ _ **choke**_ _me, whatever…but stop this!' and at the word choke a weird feeling of unease shot through his system. He had to see the girl. He didn't even know why she was there and what he was supposed to do with , he had a feeling he knew what he was expected to do with her, but he felt a wave of nausea hit him full force. He had to see her. He let her go and turned her around. It was her. Those eyes. 'Gra-' he started saying, utter disbelief and shock on his face. But she was free now, she was angry and wouldn't take any of it, he knew. She hissed 'Shut up! You. Are. A. Monster. Just like your father. I wish you knew what I'm talking about, but believe me…you will burn in Hell. Your soul is tainted. You can't be saved. You're hopeless, not worth my anger, not even worth my pity'. He started trembling and felt sick, she was still spitting hateful words but he couldn't hear a thing, his blood was pumping so fast it made his ears ring. What had he done? What kind of person had he become? His head was spinning so fast his vision blurred, the last thing he saw before everything went black were a pair of brown eyes._

He woke up drenched in sweat, shivering and shaking. Granger's eyes still burned into his memory. The seriousness of his actions were a heavy boulder on his shoulders. The nightmare wasn't even the worst thing about the whole thing. What really made him sick was that the previous night he'd done much worse. What kind of person tries to choke another human being in a fit of anger? Well, a person like…his father. Someone he really didn't need to be thinking about, not if he wanted to sort himself out. He couldn't clear his thoughts…why was he so angry in the first place? He was lost. Lost and delirious. In a sea storm, far offshore. He was drowning and no one was there to help him. Who would want to? Blaise was sick of him, he saw it in his eyes the previous night. Theo couldn't be bothered…and he'd hate him for what he'd done to Granger, especially given his own background. He'd hate him because of what…never mind, Theo would be blazing mad and he had no one apart from him and Blaise. Crabbe and Goyle were just two useless minions, Pansy was and always will be just a pain in the ass. The point was that he was alone. He suddenly realised he really had no one he could turn to, and that he'd probably wouldn't do it even if he could. His friends would turn their backs on him, he was a monster. He couldn't stand all those confusing and painful feelings. Granger. He wondered if she got to her room OK the previous night. Oh Merlin he nearly killed Granger, and most certainly scared the living daylights out of her. He couldn't stop thinking about Blaise's words. _What do you think you would be asked to do? Make tea for the prisoners and braid their bloody hair?_ How could they torture people like that without losing their minds? Some of them clearly did, if his Aunt Bella was any sort of indication. He suddenly felt sick. He really was a coward, after all. And he had no choice. He couldn't do this, but he couldn't refuse either. The sudden realisation of the inevitability of the horrors he'd have to face definitely broke him. A sudden dreadful panic seized him and he launched himself at his cabinet. Firewhiskey. He definitely needed to forget, at least for a while. He opened the bottle and took a very generous sip. The liquid burned its way down his throat and a warm sensations spread through his whole body. He took another sip, then another…the world was slipping away and he felt…dazed. His problems didn't seem all that dreadful, once the liquor worked its twisted magic.

He felt like he was floating on a fluffy cloud when an annoying background noise interrupted his happy idleness.

 _Bang! Bang! Bang!_

It was probably all in his head anyway. He shuddered his shoulders and took another sip.

 _Bang! Bang! Bang!_

That annoying noise again. He was about to dismiss it as another product of his imagination when he heard a familiar voice.

'OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR DRACO OR I SWEAR I'M GOING TO BLOW IT UP!'

Theo.

'Go away' he managed to grumble. What was he doing there? Oh Merlin, he knew.

'This is the last time I'm telling you Draco. Open. The. Fucking. Door. NOW!'

An angry Theo wasn't a good thing. He was usually calm and collected, he was witty and ironic…but he was hardly angry. Draco was in trouble.

'Seriously, Draco. This is just immature, open the door and let us in' echoed another familiar voice.

Blaise.

So if Blaise was there maybe Theo wouldn't kill him. Then it occurred him that…his friends might be there _for him_.

'Draco I swear if you don't open the door I'm going to go get Granger and force her to tell her friends what the fuck you did and we both know I'd be the least of your problems at that point' said Theo menacingly.

Draco opened the door.

'I knew this would work' beamed Theo on the other side 'Now just move, let us in and stop being a bloody child. I had to threaten you to make you see reason, you jerk!'

'Was it just a trick to make me open the door'? he asked disbelievingly when he saw the dark-haired skinny wizard standing on the doorstep with a mischievous grin plastered on his face.

'Of course it was, Draco. I _am_ a Slytherin, after all'.

Draco shook his head in disbelief, moved to the side and gestured his friends to enter his room. He went back to his bed and grabbed his bottle of Firewhiskey. The perks of being a Malfoy. Single room and smuggled booze.

'Honestly Draco, how exactly do you think that poisoning your body is going to heal your mind is beyond me' said Blaise.

'Numbing' he mumbled almost unintelligibly.

'Excuse me?' asked Blaise.

'Numbing it, not poisoning it' drawled Draco while collapsing on his unmade bed.

'Yeah, go on and drink yourself silly…this will definitely help. It is known as the best way to solve sticky situations after all' interjected Theo sarcastically.

'Oh shut up. My head is killing me' pleaded Draco with a whiny voice.

'I wonder why' retorted Theo accusingly.

'Stop it you two! Theo go get a Sobering Potion in our room, and _you,_ you pull yourself together. Go and have a shower, get dressed, _do something!_ I'm not leaving you here all day, attempting to commit suicide or trying to destroy yourself further'

Theo eagerly went to get the potion, Draco knew he'd do anything to avoid _the talk._ He then turned to Blaise and whined 'I wasn't trying to kill myself, Blaise. Come on, really. Who do you take me for? I was just trying to…cope'

'Who do I take you for? If you asked me yesterday I would have known the answer…but now I really don't know. By the way…your way of coping sucks, mate. All this shit won't help you…do you know what will though?'

'Please do enlighten me' he drawled while blatantly trying to ignore the caramel-skinned wizard in front of him.

'Oh Salazar! You're even _less_ pleasant when you're drunk Draco, I didn't believe it possible. Anyway, what you need now is normality. Classes, classmates, homework, average teenage things…us. You can't hide in here forever. You'll have to face her, eventually'.

'In ten minutes, I'd say. Drink this, you idiot! I am supposed to be the irresponsible one here Draco' exclaimed Theo from behind them while throwing him a phial of Sobering Potion.

'Theo's right. You'll see her soon enough. You can be a prick about it or…you could apologise and try to get over it'

Draco drank the potion and felt better almost instantly.

'Thank Merlin someone invented this liquid miracle' he said smirking.

'Thanks to the Potter family then' said Blaise too casually for Draco's liking.

Draco nearly chocked on the last sip of the potion and exclaimed 'Thanks to who?'

'Potter's ancestors. They were inventors, Draco… Skele-Gro, Pepper Up and many more…name one, they invented it' Theo explained with a dull voice.

'How come you both knew about this and I didn't?' inquired the blond Slytherin.

'Because whenever you hear the name Potter you just go ballistic and stop listening…Snape grudgingly mentioned his family during Potions at least a couple of times, mate' said Blaise smirking like the bloody bastard he was.

Draco shook his head and threw the empty phial on his desk. He then spotted his clothes, still dirty and stained. Granger. The numbness caused by the Firewhiskey left place to a sharp painful awareness. He was definitely sober. Sober and ready to go to class. He actually wasn't ready to face Granger though, but at least Blaise and Theo would be there.

'Thank you' he muttered almost inaudibly.

His friends hadn't abandoned him even though they clearly knew what he'd done, thanking them was the least he could do.

Blaise knew about the _incident_ because he told him…but Theo? Did Blaise tell him?

'You haven't left me' he then said with an almost incredulous tone.

'Of course we haven't, you idiot' snapped Theo almost affronted.

'Stop with all the insults, will you? By the way…Blaise knows because I've told him…but you Theo, did he blurt it all out?'

'Well, thanks for the vote of confidence Draco' said an indignant Blaise.

'Hmphh…you _are_ the ultimate chatterbox. Especially when it comes to juicy gossips, Blaise'

'This isn't a _juicy gossip_ , this is you suddenly going all barmy and assaulting someone…do you really think I'd tell?

'Actually, no…but how come he knows then?'

'Hello? I'm right here in case you didn't notice! And I know because I entered the Library just in time to witness your polite exchange with Granger' explained Theo.

Draco paled and asked 'Theodore, why didn't you stop me, for Merlin's sake!? If you really were there how could you let me do that?'

'Oh, I was a little too late to stop you, mate. I only heard Granger shouting at you and you being sick on the floor. Charming, by the way. Next time you ever dare telling me off for my table manners I'll make sure to remind you how delicate the sight of you vomiting your dinner was. You were lucky I was the only one there, you know, or you'd be in real trouble. I still can't believe she didn't report you, lucky bastard!'

Draco could do nothing but agree with Theo. 'Yeah, true. Astonishing really. Well, aren't you…mad?'

'Of course I am, Draco. Hitting a girl, what _on Earth_ were you thinking?'

'Obviously, I wasn't. So if you're mad at me…why are you here?'

Theo sighed and sat on the bed next to his blond friend. 'Draco…I'm mad. This doesn't mean I'm not your friend. In case you didn't know…friendship implies helping each other even in the worst situations. Merlin you really are a piece of work, you know'.

Draco shifted nervously from one feet to the other. He wasn't really good at things such as _friendship_ , but he wanted to make sure both of his friends were OK with him, because he most certainly didn't feel OK with himself in the slightest…and he needed them to be.

'Blaise?'

The unspoken question was lingering in the air. _Do you still want to be friends with thelike of me?_

Blaise leaned on the closed door and exhaled. 'Draco, honestly. I've been banging on your door all morning, did you really think I'd leave you here to waste yourself senseless?'

Draco felt like a little child. He was so ashamed, what the fuck was happening? He was turning into a bloody emotional bomb, ready to explode at any time. He was still so ashamed, and disheartened, but he felt warmer. His friends were there even if they knew he had been a monster. He could feel the darkness pervading him retreat a little. He was so glad he had them to help him keep the darkness at bay, not that he'd ever admit it. He did admit to himself that he fucked things up monumentally. Attacking Granger…that was too much. But from admitting his faults to actually _doing_ something about them…

In all honesty there was just one choice. Even though his friends were right, even though he _was_ a huge jerk, even though any other person would just apologise and try with all his or her might to make things right…he couldn't. It wouldn't work. He was Draco Malfoy the Bad Boy from Slytherin, she was Hermione Granger the annoying Gryffindor Mudblood. He was the offspring of a dangerous Death Eater, she was the best friend of the bloody Boy-Who-Lived. He even suspected she didn't even expect him to apologise, nor she'd want him to. Suddenly Blaise's words echoed in his head ' _You'll see her soon enough. You can be a prick about it or…you could apologise and try to get over it'_.

'Well, let's go to classes then' he mumbled with a clear idea on which path he'll choose.

Theo smirked and Blaise sighed, he headed outside and they followed him, both of them well aware that he needed them more than anything in that moment. But boys don't say such things out loud. And Slytherin boys would rather pretend they didn't care for other people rather than admitting they actually _had_ feelings. So they stood by his side, the three of them silent. But it was one of those cases when silence said more than a thousand words.

Once in the classroom Draco noticed that Granger was sitting in the front row, how surprising. When she saw them entering the class she inadvertently tensed up, but kept chatting with Potter, the Weasel and that Thomas boy, completely ignoring Draco and his friends.

Draco could very well keep walking towards his desk. He could be mature, he could try to mend things. But he _was_ a bit of a bastard, so he cleared his throat and they all turned to face him. He plastered him most annoyingly obnoxious smile on his face and said 'Look, Scarhead, the Weasel and the annoying Bookworm. How nice to share yet another class with you Gryffindorks'

The boys instantly tensed, their knuckles white and their ears red. Granger paled slightly and looked down.

'Sod off, Malfoy' spitted Potter while reaching for his wand.

'Oh yes, I most certainly will, Potter. Don't really want to be that close to _her._ Might catch a disease…' he added pointing his bony finger towards Granger.

He knew he was stirring them up, and he didn't have to wait too long for a reaction. Weasley launched himself at his throat but, surprisingly, Granger stopped him when he was inches from Draco's neck.

The pale blond noticed she had to put an effort in keeping her voice straight, but her words were carefully chosen to hit him 'Ron, seriously. He's just a lonely, obnoxious twat. We should feel sorry for him, he's not all there, you know…all this inbreeding must have finally started to show…'

How Granger managed to make him lose it in a matter of seconds by only saying a few carefully chosen words was beyond him. He was about to retort when Theo grabbed his arm and pushed him away, to the far corner of the classroom and said 'Shut up, will you? I really thought there was something in that stupid head of yours, but I begin to wonder…'

Blaise shook his head and whispered 'So, you chose your path. Prick it is then'.

Draco was about to argument his poor choice, to make it appear logical, when McGonagall entered the room. He'd try to explain his behaviour to his friends later on.

* * *

Hermione couldn't believe Malfoy had the actual nerve to act like nothing had happened. She didn't expect a serious apology, or a blatant change of heart…but civility would have been pleasant. Even ignoring her would have been sensible, but no. He of course had to be a jerk about the whole thing. Stupid, proud boy. What Nott and Blaise saw in him was still a mystery. She still thought Nott was crazy to be wanting to spend time with the likes of him, but she appreciated his prompt intervention. Hadn't Nott stopped Malfoy in time, things would have gotten edgy. A sudden realisation hit her: the boy who had attacked her less than 12 hours ago was sitting a few rows behind her, how did she feel? She wasn't properly scared of him. Not now that she was surrounded by her friends and that he was acting like the usual spoiled brat. She felt nervous, yeah. And angry. Angry because if Nott was indeed right and Malfoy wasn't the self-righteous prat he always wanted them to believe he was, then he was a plain coward. If this was all an act, then he was even stupider than she thought. What was he trying to accomplish? Keep up the image they all had of him? What an annoying jerk. That was just nonsense and he couldn't possibly think it was the best way to deal with his evident problems. Not that he'd ever admit having them in the first place.

Hermione was still throwing sideway glances at the three Slytherins. when Professor McGonagall entered the room, which not so surprisingly fell silent.

The teacher looked positively livid. This couldn't be good. 'Good morning students. Before we start our lesson please let me inform you that this morning all Hogwarts teachers had a urgent meeting and lamentably a few problems arose. Serious problems. Things that would not be tolerated further and for which measures will be taken. I'm highly disappointed, in _all_ of you' she said with a clipped tone.

Hermione wondered what those problems could be, the teachers couldn't possibly know about what happened between her and Malfoy, could they? She involuntarily turned around, just to find a pair of silver eyes trained on her. Malfoy was pale as death and his eyes were full of…fear? Regret? Anger? She couldn't read them, but she knew he was thinking the exact same thing she was.

' _How do they know? Did someone tell?'_

McGonagall continued 'Apparently our four Houses aren't enough cooperative and friendly towards each other, so as a way to overcome this issue, we all decided that you will be paired with a member from a different House for nearly all your lessons. We truly believe that in times like these there's no room for silly skirmishes, and that the best way to overcome your differences is spending more time with each other'.

Hermione felt a weight lift from her chest. Thank Merlin they didn't know. She would have felt too exposed, had the teacher mentioned what happened between her and Malfoy in front of the whole class. She noticed that Malfoy relaxed instantly, his usual smirk back on his face.

'I can't believe they are all so bloody thick. There are different Houses for a reason, I say. We have different standards, we _want_ to be separated. Why bothering with the Sorting in the first place if they always have to blather about House Unity and mix us with the bloody Gryffindorks?!' he hissed.

His outburst won him a glare from McGonagall, that went on explaining nonetheless 'Your working partner might or might not be the same for the whole year, depending on how well you get on, academic achievements _are_ the main reason you're here, after all. Please also be aware that you will be paired mostly according to your strengths and your marks. I'm sure there's no need to pinpoint the importance of maintaining a proper behaviour. I will now pair you with your partners, I do hope this process will be smooth and quiet, there's no need to start deducting House Points this early in the morning, right?'

'McGonagall and Snape should start dating. They truly make a perfect match!' commented Ron resentfully, causing all the Gryffindors, included Hermione, to chuckle silently.

'Mr. Weasley, please take a seat next to Mr. Zabini and do keep your mouth shut'. At that Ron unwillingly left Harry's side and sat next to Blaise Zabini. Which on his account was sulking and positively liked being paired with Ron as much as he'd like undiluted Bubotuber pus splashed on his bare hands.

McGonagall ignored the obvious demonstration of how bad things were going to be and went on pairing the remaining students. 'Mr. Nott…well, you can sit next to Mr. Potter'.

Nott got up and collected his books, he didn't seem too bothered. Hermione was pretty sure he wasn't pleased but he did an excellent job at hiding his displeasure, like a true Slytherin.

'Miss Brown and Miss Parkinson' went on McGonagall with a stern voice and a steel glare.

'The perfect recipe for disaster. The only thing those two have in common is the fact that they spend more time putting make-up on than _thinking_ ' mumbled Malfoy to no one in particular while McGonagall kept on pairing all the students.

Hermione couldn't help but smile. It was _indeed_ the perfect recipe for disaster, and she didn't like the two airheads, so she actually found Malfoy's remark quite funny.

When all the pairs were set, Hermione knew what was coming and braced herself as McGonagall spoke again, an almost apologetic look on her face when she addressed her top student 'And last but definitely not least, Miss Granger , you will be working with Mr. Malfoy. Please Mr Malfoy do come here and sit in the front row. Godric knows how much benefit you could gain from paying a little more attention. Apparently my subject is the only one where you got only Exceeding Expectations in your O.W.L.s'.

Hermione's eyes bulged. _Only?_ Was Malfoy really _that_ good? She turned just in time to see him say to Zabini 'With that prudish boring know-it-all, _again_. Would you believe my bloody luck mate?' winning himself a death stare from Ron, bless him, and an elbow right in the ribcage from Nott, when he was passing near his and Harry's desk. Malfoy grudgingly threw his things in his bag and joined Hermione at what from that moment on would be _their_ desk. At least he managed to insult her for her attachment to books rather than for her lack of sexual experience or for her blood status, what a refreshing change. She ought to consider it an improvement, she thought sarcastically. When he sat down she felt panic surge, still feeling his hands on her throat. This House Unity thing wasn't helping her _move on_. She was surprised to notice he never glanced towards her, in fact all he did was taking notes. McGonagall was explaining what their project for the next couple of lessons would be, so not much interaction was needed, and thank Merlin for that.

By the end of the lesson Ron had nearly killed Zabini, Lavender and Pansy Parkinson were at each other's throats, as expected, and Harry and Malfoy, while she and Nott pretended not to hear them and kept their noses in the respective books, had managed to fight with each other even though they weren't paired together. And were sitting on different sides of the class. Definitely a success. Saying that this House Unity thing had room for improvement was an understatement. Hermione was gathering her books while Harry and Malfoy were still fighting, when Nott sat on the desk and sighed heavily. 'I'm honestly going to kill them if they don't stop' Hermione laughed and said 'Well, aren't you used to their fights? Newsflash, they've been bickering for the past six years. Actually, it's been like that since the very first day. I'm surprised they still haven't hexed each other by now. So, in a certain way…we can't really complain. They still have all their limbs'. At that Nott grinned and added 'I wish McGonagall paired US together, at least some of us would accomplish some work. Sorry you're stuck with Draco again'

'Oh, don't worry. I'll try and keep the ferret in his place' Hermione sighed.

'Ferret?'

'Where were you the past few years Nott? On the moon? You certainly remember Moody and his creative punishments…'

'Oh, yeah right. We weren't that close during fourth year. I don't think we've ever talked about that. But no worries, I'll make sure to mention it from now on…and that he'll never forget his ferret days' he said with a wicked grin plastered on his face.

Ron finally stopped arguing with Zabini and approached them. The caramel-skinned wizard threw a weird look at his friend Nott and didn't even bother to approach him, disappearing through the door without a second glance.

Hermione, Ron and Nott were still waiting for Harry and Malfoy to stop bickering. ''Mione we'll be late for class if he doesn't stop fighting with the useless git. You know how Hagrid counts on us fo-' he then noticed Nott and scowled at him, then hastily added 'He _is_ a useless git, Malfoy' and at that Nott imperceptibly smiled and added 'Not to mention an obnoxious prat' winning Ron's incredulous stare.

'Oh Merlin! Someone stop the bloody Ferret!' added Ron hastily, while sitting on another desk.

Hermione, who'd be late for class too if she didn't move, decided to act. She couldn't believe Harry would keep going. How childish of him. She expected that kind of behaviour from Malfoy, but Harry…oh Merlin. She approached them in time to hear her friend say '-bloody Death Eater! With what courage do you tell _me_ a-'

Malfoy looked positively livid and cut him off midsentence 'I'm not a bloody Death Eater Potter! You nitwit! Look! Look at my fucking arm and tell me if you see a bloody Dark Mark on it!' and literally tore his sleeve while raising his wand, revealing an unmarked arm.

'You're not… _yet'_ retorted Harry clearly trying to stir Malfoy up.

At that Hermione shouted 'HARRY JAMES POTTER! I will not be late for class just because you two have a stupid pissing contest going on!'. Harry and Malfoy stopped fighting and turned towards her, shock on their faces. 'Now, YOU, Harry, are going to get your bag, join Ron and Nott and leave before I can lay my hand on my wand. Hagrid's lesson will start in less than 10 minutes. Go. NOW. While YOU – she added pointing towards Malfoy – will put your wand back in your pocket unless you want me to deduct you points, and Merlin knows how much I'd like to, you pathetic attention-seeker'.

Harry grudgingly gathered his things and left the room without looking at her. She knew he was mad, but she was sure he'd be OK in a few hours. Hopefully. Ron rushed out of the class muttering something that sounded like 'See you later 'Mione', even though she couldn't be too sure.. Nott had left already, not wanting to spend more time than necessary with the two Gryffindors, she suspected.

Before Malfoy could retort or do anything Hermione darted towards her class, her hearth still pounding from all the shouting. She really didn't want to be alone with him. Not after what happened the previous night. Malfoy didn't follow, thank Godric.

She was about to reach the Ancient Runes class, her hand was almost grabbing the doorknob, when she heard _his_ voice right behind her.

'Granger, wait'.

'Oh sweet Merlin, anyone but him...what does he want now'?

* * *

 **Another A/N: So...yeah, I know...nothing major happened in this chapter, sorry...but as I told you the first chapters are necessary to lay the path for later ones! I promise there will be more action later on...but give them time ;) Furthermore, I'm dropping a few hints on what might happen in the plot here and there...so when you'll read the later chapters you will probably put the pieces together :P Btw...I LOVE Theo as a character...and Blaise too, so as you guessed you'll see quite a lot of them too in this fic! I know you know already...but reviews would be HUGELY appreciated! I'll finish working in 10 minutes...happy meee! Have a nice week end, I'll try and update asap! xxx Tori**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Hello everyone! Here's another chapter :) I actually didn't plan it, but while looking at what I had already written and my notes about future chapters...I just wanted something more happening, so I wrote this, in 2 days :D It hasn't been betaed, so forgive any mistake. I hope you're enjoying the story so far! I'll try to update asap! xxxx Tori**

 **REQUEST: Speaking of betas...anyone willing to beta for me? Message me if you're interested! Thanks! :)**

* * *

Draco was standing in the middle of the corridor, facing the witch who had been haunting his nightmares the whole night…and he suddenly realized he had no idea why he called her in the first place. The only thing he knew for sure was that his oh-so-clever approach, the very same approach he tried to label as something logical in front of his two friends not long before, wasn't working so well. Merlin, it wasn't working AT ALL. At least not for him, and being the selfish individual he was, his mental wellbeing was his first priority. He had spent the whole Transfiguration lesson trying to act coolly, as everyone would expect from him, but having to seat next to _her_ for two hours didn't really help him to pretend nothing happened between them. He could safely say that his way of coping really sucked. Basically, Theo and Blaise were right. Not that he would ever tell them.

Anyway, the effort of keeping up a façade was too much, even for someone like him. Someone really good at compartmentalizing his thoughts and feelings. He'd always been taught not to show weakness and most importantly not to let emotions and confusing feelings overcome him. That's why he didn't know how to behave when he started _having_ feelings in the first place. What kind of feelings…he didn't know. Anger, disgust, loathing, dread, fear…guilt. Flashes of the previous night kept popping up in his head, and he couldn't function properly. His face felt hot and his cheeks were unusually flushed, especially for someone as pale as him. What caused those physical reactions? Shame? Embarrassment? He didn't know. He didn't know a single bloody thing anymore. The only thing that he had clear was that he had a problem, and a big one at that.

Granger, on the other hand, seemed pretty focused on ignoring the whole ordeal and act as her usual insufferable bossy self. OK, Draco noticed that maybe she wasn't properly the usual overly confident Granger. In fact her defensive posture seemed to scream "Piss off, leave me alone!" as a point to prove he was right. But her face….it was hard, and didn't betray any sort of emotion, except for annoyance. Plenty of that. Too much for his liking.

But, really…could he blame her for loathing him even more than before? As much as he would have liked to find an excuse to blame her, what had happened in the Library was his own damn fault. It took him a fairly short amount of time to realise it, short considering that he _was_ quite proud and didn't like to admit his faults. A normal person, someone like Blaise, would probably say it took him long enough, if not forever.

The brunette witch was probably still weighing up her options, as she hadn't moved nor spoken yet. He himself was still speechless, so he did the first thing that came to his fuzzy mind. And the stupidest he could do, in hindsight. He moved forward to get closer, and she jerked back slamming into the wall behind her. Her resolution crumbled instantly and her face fell. She started trembling, but the only thing he really noticed were her eyes. They were wide open, pupils dilated in fear. The very same look she had the previous night, the two caramel coloured eyes that had haunted his dreams and his thoughts.

It was enough to send him spiralling down, into his own personal Hell. Yeah…Hell. A concept he wasn't very familiar with, being something he never discussed with his parents, who believed in nothing except power and wealth. The only thing he knew was that it was supposed to be a dark place, destined to people who'd done their fair share of evil things before crossing the Veil.

Hell.

Such a foreign concept, until the previous night. Because that…that uneasiness, that horrible knot in the pit of his stomach, that self-loathing, that he could try to hide from others, but that he himself couldn't help feeling…well, _that_ had to be Hell.

His own personal bloody Hell.

Draco couldn't help thinking that if his father could hear his thoughts…he'd be pretty pissed, to put it mildly. And Draco would probably be contorting on the floor hit by a Crucio. Because all of this, this foreign emotions, this discomfort…it had to be guilt, hadn't it? And feeling guilty for showing a-a _Mudblood_ her rightful place was unacceptable and… well he could easily say that Lucius Malfoy wouldn't be very forgiving if he found out about his son's new found conscience. Which was something quite unsettling for Draco himself. Oh Salazar, how was he supposed to make a good Death Eater? Blaise was right, he wouldn't be asked to make tea and entertain prisoners…he'd be asked to use violence and witness atrocities beyond his imagination, if the murder of Professor Burbage in late summer was any sort of indication.

He could still remember the dread he felt, while sitting at the huge wooden table of his dining room, while that horrendous snake slithered towards the lifeless body of the late Professor Burbage. The actual Nagini snake, not the two-legged scary, Master-of-all-that's-evil one. Which spent the whole time enjoying the teacher's utter terror. Draco felt sick to his stomach at the thought of that afternoon at Malfoy Manor. And there had been many others after that. No murders, not when he was attending anyway, but plenty of torture. He was pretty sure he'd always known deep down, but it was finally clear as water. He could never take part in any of that scary fucking madness, but he'd have to anyway. He'd have to in order to protect his family, especially his mother. His father was very well able to protect himself, if the fact that a few months back, after the whole Prophecy fiasco he left the Department of Mysteries before any Ministry official arrived, therefore saving his Death Eater ass, was any sort of indication.

Now all he could do was witness Granger falling apart in front of his eyes, and acknowledge that it was his fault. Watching the strongest, most stubborn and fiercest witch he'd ever met tremble and shake at his tiniest movement sent his already confused mind into overdrive. His breaths suddenly became too shallow and he didn't seem to be able to draw enough air, his vision blurred and he could see little pink spots dancing in front of his eyes. By attacking Granger he crossed a line he shouldn't have crossed and what little was left of his rationality disappeared at the sudden realization that he needed her forgiveness in order to forgive himself. Why he felt the necessity of forgiving himself for his actions, actions he'd be praised for by both his father and his father's Master, was something he didn't want to dwell on. But she'd never forgive him, that much he knew. Who would? She was noble, but she was no martyr. Gryffindors were bloody reckless, and annoying. And self-sacrificing. But they were no fools. Especially not _that_ particular Gryffindor. A witch who'd always been fiery and full of spirit, and that now stood there, pressed against a stone wall, shaking and almost crying. He felt a wave of nausea hit him as he replayed the previous' night accident in his head, and all he could think was _'I'm a monster, I'm a monster, I'm a monster, monstermonstermonster'._

'I'm a monster' he said feebly.

He fell on his knees, not able to sustain his own weight any longer. Not _wanting_ to.

And then he cried.

He cried for her, for her fear and her distress. He cried for what he put her through and for what she'd have to remember for the rest of her life as the day when she nearly died at his hands.

He cried for his innocence, that he'd lost way too soon. Maybe it happened the previous night when he nearly killed Granger, maybe even long before…when he saw the Dark Lord murder another human being, or when his father filled his head with hate and prejudice. Or when he was denied a normal childhood and had to endure his father's harsh education methods. When he first found out that Lucius Malfoy, the man he had admired for his entire life, really was a Death Eater.

He cried because he was scared. Because someone else chose that life for him and he had no say about it, but he did want to say something. He wanted to shout that NO, he didn't want to hurt and kill people. Being a bully at school was one thing, the horrors that were waiting for him, lurking in the dark, they were another.

He cried and once he opened the gates he couldn't stop. He cried sixteen years of pain and well-suppressed fear. And he hated himself for being so fucking emotional. Like a bloody Hufflepuff. Draco Malfoy wasn't a whiner. Well, he sort of was, at least according to Theo and Blaise, but not _that_ kind of whiner, for Merlin's sake!

And he didn't even care that Hermione Granger of all people was there, witnessing him lose it, as a panic attack hit him full force. He couldn't breath as he sobbed like he never did before. He would collapse if he didn't manage to stop hyperventilating, he already felt lightheaded and it wouldn't be long before he fainted.

Draco was too lost in his own angst to notice that the brunette witch had left her spot and was approaching him. She moved forward, delicately, treating him like a little broken bird, too afraid to scare him by making even a slight noise or small movement. Then, once she was close enough, she knelt down and did the unthinkable. She stroked his platinum blond hair and whispered 'It's OK, it's OK…now take deep breaths and calm down. Good, good…breath in…and out…again in…and out…perfect, you're being very good. Try to relax, it's only a panic attack'.

He could hear her words, but he was so panicked that he couldn't make a sense out of them. All he could register was her scent, that enveloped him and soothed his senses. Surprisingly, she smelled good…of cinnamon and oranges, with a hint of something unique that had to be _her_ scent.

She kept stroking his hair comfortingly and said 'Now hold onto me…and keep breathing slowly and deeply. Good, now I'll help you get up…you'll feel a little dizzy but it's normal, OK?'

He was too lost in his own anguish to answer, so she repeated 'Malfoy…is it OK?'

Again, he couldn't speak. She was being so kind and he didn't deserve an inch of her sympathy. Her kindness was wasted on someone like him, especially after what he'd done to her. She delicately grabbed his chin and beckoned him to look at her, and whispered again 'I'm going to help you get up, is it OK…Draco?' and this time he managed to say 'Y-yes, OK' while taking her hand and leaning on her, not trusting his own shaky legs. She jerked slightly at his touch, probably surprised by the fact that he was willingly touching her for the first time in six years, and Draco too would be surprised by his own actions later, when thinking back to that particular moment.

He regained a tiny bit of control, while Granger looked around and said 'We really should go, you know. You made one hell of a noise and I bet you don't want people to see…this' pointing her finger between the two of them.

Draco felt like shit. His head was still spinning and he didn't understand what was happening to him. All he knew was that he was standing in the middle of a bloody corridor and that all he wanted was to lay in bed and calm down instead. He really didn't need people to see him in such a vulnerable state…with _her_ , she had a point, so he managed to say 'Yeah, not f-feeling well, Granger. My dorm… _please_ '. There he was…pleading her, again. It was becoming a bloody habit, for the love of Salazar!

* * *

Hermione sighed and helped him up, not at all thrilled at the idea of having to walk him to the Dungeons. She couldn't refuse and abandon him there when he was so clearly shaken and utterly distressed, though. In all honesty she was still a bit taken aback by his emotional breakdown, and couldn't help feeling sorry for him. It was pretty clear that he wasn't coping too well and that his attitude during Transfiguration was his own stupid, faulty plan to deal with the whole Library incident. A plan that had clearly backfired, by the look of things.

She should have been happy to see him broken, right? No, no. That wasn't her style at all. She wasn't the kind of person that rejoiced over the misfortunes of others. She actually felt a pang of sadness in her heart when Malfoy started crying and shaking. She had to admit to herself that the boy in front of her couldn't possibly be a monster. He wasn't evil, either. He was just experiencing some seriously shitty situations, and he'd also been brought up believing that pain, torture and suppression were the only way to deal with people whose only guilt was being…different. She didn't even want to think about the things he had to witness when he was at home. Lucius Malfoy was a scary man, even scarier since Harry confirmed his affiliation to the Dark Lord back in their fourth year. After the whole Department of Mysteries accident, he escaped capture at the Ministry and was still roaming free, pretending to be this wealthy, respectable man who had nothing to do with the Rise of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Bullshit, of course. But then again Hermione firmly believed that people paid for their mistakes and wrongdoings, so it was really only a matter of waiting for Karma to strike back. Lucius Malfoy _would_ pay, in due time.

Draco Malfoy, though…was a whole different thing. His only fault was being born in a shitty, prejudiced family, with a propulsion towards the Dark Arts and a ridiculous amount of money. And he couldn't be blamed for that, really. It was the same thing as blaming her for being a Muggleborn. He never questioned his family's barbaric beliefs, true. But what would you expect from a child? Now that he was a 16-year-old boy things weren't any different, true again…but his family's way was the only one he knew. And from what she noticed during the past years, he wasn't the bravest of people, so the fact that he never stood up to his parents didn't surprise her in the slightest. He was a Slytherin for a reason, and they _were_ a bunch of self-absorbed people, so it only made sense that his survival instinct screamed 'Don't fight the big dark wizards!' with a loud resounding voice. The fact that he was conflicting and felt guilty for what happened the previous night, though, clearly showed that he wasn't beyond salvation. True…there still was the fact that he sort of physically enjoyed the violent act, something that scared her more than the whole choking thing itself. But then again, as soon as he noticed…he seemed utterly revolted, to the point of being sick. So maybe…it could all be ascribed to a momentary flash of insanity, couldn't it? She desperately wanted to believe so, because a teenage boy couldn't possibly be _that_ far gone. She was convinced that he wasn't like his father and he could still see reason, if helped. Yeah….right, _helped_.

She replayed the conversation between her and Nott in her head.

' _You_ _know_ _he's not inherently evil and he hates himself for being so fucked up…he could be…helped, you know'._

 _'He'd have to find someone willing to do so'_

 _'Or someone willing to do so should find him'_

Yeah, but who? He wasn't very pleasant, nor he was open to admit his own weaknesses, that much was certain. If someone offered to help him solve his problems he'd only freak out and be more despicable than usual, not to mention the fact that he'd have to admit having a problem in the first place. She didn't know much about the blond wizard, but she figured out that he was very proud and touchy…so yeah, helping Draco Malfoy was one hell of a task. One she couldn't possibly take on. The bare thought made her laugh…she, a Muggleborn Gryffindor, would be the last person on Earth he'd turn to in case of need, so, helping Malfoy? Thank you very much but no, thank you.

However she felt sorry for him, and was sort of fascinated by his internal struggle and his newfound sense of right and wrong. Even if it did seem impossible, after this whole crying thing and after seeing that he was human, and most importantly that he was sorry…her heart had already forgiven him for what happened in the Library, bloody noble Gryffindor she was! Her rational self though pleaded her not to let her guard down, because it was Draco Malfoy she was talking about…and he didn't seem evil, but he was his father's son, and the possibility that the apple didn't fall far from the tree was…likely.

She was so busy thinking that she didn't notice they had reached the Dungeons, but when Malfoy cleared his throat and spoke, interrupting her train of thoughts, she snapped back to reality.

'We're nearly there…you should probably leave me here' he said with a husky voice.

Hermione shook her head and told him 'No way I'm leaving you here, Malfoy. You can barely stand, let alone walk'

He seemed genuinely uncomfortable when he explained 'You can't come into Slytherin Common Room, Granger. You wouldn't be very…welcome'.

Hermione leaned towards him 'I am a Prefect, no one will bother me. Plus, no one will be around anyway…we're skiving off classes, everyone else will be attending lessons right now'

'I never thought I'd live to see Hermione Granger skiving off to help _me_ ' he said.

Hermione smirked and answered 'Trust me, Malfoy…I can't believe it either. I hope you're not thinking of getting used to this, because it's a once-in-a-life-time occurrence. Now, where's your Common Room?'

He rolled his eyes and showed her the way and soon enough they were facing a stone wall, that she deemed to be the entrance to Slytherin quarters.

'You're telling me you have no portrait to let you in?' she inquired, just because she needed something to say. She actually _did_ know Slytherins had no portrait, but silence unnerved her. Well, silence when in Malfoy's company anyway.

'Thank Merlin, no! Can you imagine having to wait for the bloody painting occupant to come back and let you in? You know how they like visiting each other' he replied with an annoyed tone.

'I can imagine very well, actually. We do have a painting at the entrance of our Common Room, Malfoy. I had to wait for the Fa- she stopped abruptly, realizing she was about to reveal to Malfoy of all people where the entrance to Gryffindor Tower was.

'The what?' he asked inquisitively.

'Hmphh. The occupant of the painting. Don't feign ignorance, I know you noticed I nearly slipped. Anyway…I often have to wait for it to come back and let me in our Common Room, pretty annoying' she said dismissively.

'I'm not feigning ignorance! – he said simulating resentment - It's just my _unquenchable thirst for knowledge._ Anyway, you were about to disclose the location of your common room, Granger. Not the secret to destroy humankind' he said with a playful tone.

Hermione rolled her eyes and shook her head 'I see you're feeling better, Malfoy…maybe I should leave you to your own devices and go…' she teased him.

He feigned indignation and exclaimed 'Come on, I wasn't planning to let a mass murderer into the bloody Gryffindor quarters, you know. You already have Longbottom for that, if I recall correctly. Plus, I did show you where our Common Room is'.

She scoffed and shook her head. Poor Neville, he still apologised to Harry and Ron for inadvertently letting Sirius into the Common Room back in their third year. And of course she didn't mention to Malfoy the fact that she knew already where _his_ Common Room was, or she'd have to explain how. And that meant telling him that Harry and Ron had actually been in there back in their second year, thanks to Crabbe and Goyle…and Polyjuice Potion.

Hermione waved her hand and grabbed Malfoy's arm while saying 'Yeah and Merlin knows what I'll do with this precious piece of news. Maybe throw a surprise party for you. Come on, Malfoy….I'll help you get to your dorm…now be a good boy and say the password'.

Malfoy sighed and said ' _Spinam cave_ ' and the wall disappeared. He turned to face her and she asked him 'D'Annunzio?'

He seemed pretty confused so she went on 'The password. It's a portion of a phrase written by an Italian poet and author, Gabriele D'Annunzio. He was a very controversial person and had loads of lovers. The whole sentence is _Rosa cape, spinam cave_. It means _Pick the rose, but be careful of the thorn_ in Latin. Never thought you Slytherins would choose a Muggle poet and use his quotes as a password'.

Malfoy seemed quite impressed and said 'How come you know so many things? It's extraordinary. And creepy'.

'Creepy?' she inquired with an indignant tone.

'Yeah, no offence. Just a tiny bit, Granger. Anyway for what we know the man could have been a wizard' he said thoughtfully.

She knew he didn't mean it in a bad way, but she felt slightly offended by his stupid comment. 'His works wouldn't be any less remarkable if he was indeed a Muggle, though. The concept behind this specific sentence it just amazing. He's trying to say that there are both good and evil in all things. What aspect of our lives does not hide _thorns_? How can we steer away from the dangers, problems and suffering? Unfortunately I fear it is not possible. But it's not a good enough reason to be pessimistic: everything has its _roses_ , has its joys and satisfactions, its small and big pleasures. It is way too easy to always find the negative, even be infected by negativity and pessimism. Far more difficult is to always find something good in what is happening around us. And this is just one of many elements that can lead men to the coveted happiness. Life is a journey, and we can decide to live it at its fullest or merely survive it, it's up to us really' she explained passionately.

Malfoy was staring at her in surprise and several minutes passed before he spoke again 'So…the Italian poet meant to say nothing is completely bad or completely good, right? That we're all made of both _roses_ and _thorns_?'

'Basically, yeah. With the classic exception to the rule, of course' she answered thinking of You-Know-Who in particular. The man _was_ pure evil.

He seemed lost in thought so she softly told him 'Enough philosophy for one day' and he seemed once more quite confused 'Phi-what?'.

Oh Merlin, the boy knew nothing about the Muggle world. She wasn't too surprised though, to be completely honest. 'Philosophy is the study of ideas about knowledge, truth, the nature and meaning of life and so on. It's something the ancient Greeks studied, and nowadays is still a subject taught in Muggle schools'

'How come we don't study it?' he inquired.

Hermione at that point snorted loudly and told him 'Malfoy, really? Studying what Muggles said? The wizarding world isn't exactly…open minded. And you should know it well'.

His cheeks flushed and he looked away, then he barely whispered 'Can you help me to my room? I'm still not feeling well'.

She felt sorry for her observation, so she just nodded and helped him get into the hole in the wall. The Slytherin common room was nothing like what she was used to. Gryffindor quarters were cosy and warm…and way smaller. This room was huge and quite dark. Nott was right, not the most pleasant place to hang around. Malfoy motioned towards a marble staircase and she helped him climb it, then they reached a long, narrow corridor, lit only by greenish torches. He stopped in front of a dark wooden door and opened it. Hermione followed him inside, making sure he wouldn't fall. His complexion wasn't as pale as before, but he did seem still quite shaken. The room was bare and simple, the only colours were green and silver. There was one huge four poster bed, a desk and a small bookshelf. It was sort of…sad. Devoid of personality. Was really Malfoy such a gloomy person?

She stopped abruptly, when she noticed something was amiss and asked 'Do you have a single room?'

He turned to face her and said 'Yeah. There are just a few things money can't buy, Granger'.

She scoffed and said 'So typically Slytherin. We Gryffindors are not even allowed single rooms'.

Malfoy ignored her remark and sat on his bed. He looked disheartened and didn't make eye contact with her. She was about to leave when he spoke 'Granger…I really am sorry. About what happened yesterday, you know. I can't help feeling a complete and utter shit…and I sort of wanted to…thank you. For not judging me, back in the corridor. You really are a Gryffindor through and through. And in case you're wondering, it's meant as a compliment, for once. Just, don't get too used to it. I'm still… _me_ , after all'.

She waved her hand, then said 'It's nothing. I very well couldn't leave you there in the middle of a panic attack, could I? And about the Library…I'd rather not think about it, but I might consider forgiving you…you know, when you are not trying so hard to be a prick you're not half bad. Maybe your friend Nott is right, in the end'.

Before he could ask her about her conversation with his Slytherin fellow she told him 'I really have to go now. Try and relax for a while, and don't miss lunch. You'll feel better. And for the record, it makes no sense to cry over spilled milk, but it's a pity…knowing your faults and still doing nothing about them'.

Hermione finally turned and left the Slytherin common room. Fortunately there was no one in sight, so she found her way out easily and without unpleasant encounters. What a weird morning. Draco Malfoy crying _and_ telling her he was sorry… _and_ thanking her. It was nearly absurd, but she was quite sure she wasn't dreaming.

Hermione had to admit she was quite fascinated by his human side. He really was interesting, complicated and completely fucked up.

She couldn't help wondering…would it be so bad…helping him to pick up the pieces or his haunted self and put them back together?

Only a few hours ago she was determined to stay as far away from him as humanly possible. She had been so sure she'd never want to be the person trying to help him, but there was something about him that sparked her curiosity.

Hermione never backed away, and never said no to a challenge. But this one, this one was a dangerous challenge. One where she could end up burned quite badly. She'd have to be careful, but she admitted to herself she might be willing to try.

She had to find Nott.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hello everyone! I am so so so sorry it took me this long to update this story. Real life got in the way and I've had my share of issues to deal with! I just wanted to tell you that even though it might take me longer than a week to post it, the next chapter will be up as soon as possible. I'm actually at home for the whole week on sick leave, so I have plenty of time to write :)**

 **One more thing...I just wanted to thank my amazing friend Lineswifty, that is betareading my story, and helped with this chapter as well, and is helping me making it better! I'm very happy she's supported me as I had a moment of weakness after two betareaders that offered to help me literally disappeared without an explanation...I was so disappointed I thought I'd just quit writing, but my friend convinced me to keep going, so...here's chapter 8! Hope you enjoy it, all constructive criticism is appreciated of course! Please R &R ;)**

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Draco spent the rest of the morning laying in his four poster bed, too puzzled to do anything. He couldn't believe he actually let Hermione Granger see him at his most vulnerable, for Salazar's sake! How did that happen? How were things going to change? Because they would. He was no fool, and he knew he very well couldn't pretend she didn't help him when he most needed it. Her kindness had been unsettling, but it wasn't nearly enough to change his opinion about the most annoying, self-righteous swot he'd ever met. Yet, she did help him, even though he'd been nothing but spiteful and mean towards her. She'd also said she might forgive him for his momentarily madness in the Library. The question was…why? They've always hated each other. Well, to be perfectly honest, she never openly challenged him, it was always him who started their verbal fights, but still…they were no friends. Understatement of the year, yeah. She probably did it out of pity…she was a bloody Gryffindor after all. Brave, loyal…and stupidly stubborn. She probably thought he was some freaking pet project and that he needed to be saved. He was no bloody house elf, though. And he wouldn't let her come that close ever again. They had nothing to share, no common goal to reach. His was to ensure his own survival, and his family's. At all costs. Hers was to save the freaking Wizarding World from the Dark Lord and ensure equal rights to all people, creatures and Merlin-knew-what else. Even at the cost of her own life. How could their two words meet halfway? They very well could not. It would be like trying to mix oil with water. No matter how hard you tried, the result would always be disappointing, and the effort useless. He wasn't being mean or disillusioned. He was merely being realistic. She was a Lion. And lions belonged with lions. They roar and charge straight into battles that are greater than themselves, exactly like Granger, who was always on the frontline along with those two idiotic friends of hers, fighting to defeat the bloody King of freaking Darkness himself. Draco, though, was a Snake. And snakes are more subtle. Snakes bloody well know they can't charge into battles, they plan their moves in advance and with such cunning that their enemies realise they were nothing but chess pieces for the whole time only once they fall, defeated. Draco was pretty sure that the latter was the right way to win a bloody war. Surely not by self-sacrificing himself without even thinking about it, launching himself into the enemy's bloody mouth, ready to be chewed and spat out, like Potty did countless times. In order to win you have to charm your opponents, seduce them even…and when they let their guards down, you strike! So, yeah…Granger was a Lion, he was a Snake. They had very different approaches to war, they wanted to accomplish different things, they were the light and the dark. Oil and water. But, in the end, when it came to the war, his parent's war, the war he had so much trouble feeling _his_...the only question Draco asked himself was 'Who's the friend and who's the foe'?

He was still lost in thought when a light knock on his door interrupted his reverie. Who could it possibly be? So much for wanting to be alone.

'Come in' he said, his voice still a bit hoarse from all the stupid, stupid crying. He still hadn't come to terms with the fact that he'd been crying. If only his father knew...

The door opened silently and Goyle of all people entered his room. What a pleasant sight.

That couldn't possibly be good news.

Greg cleared his throat and Draco waved his hand, giving him a silent permission to speak. They were no longer hanging out together, but years and years spent bossing the bulky boy around left a mark on both of them. And that was precisely the reason why Goyle still waited for his permission before doing anything.

'Draco, I…er-I have a letter for you. From M-Malfoy Manor' he explained nervously.

That would most definitely _not_ be good news.

Draco swallowed and decided he wasn't in the mood to deal with his father's arrogant requests, or whatever called for a hand delivered letter.

'Fine, leave it there on my desk Goyle. I'll read it later' he said resolutely.

Greg shifted nervously on his feet and mumbled 'I've…well I've been told…your Father ordered me to make sure you read it. My mother came here today visiting, she was granted permission…with the excuse of m-my father's conviction and her…her fragile mental state and she brought it. She said it's safer this way…in case our post is being read'.

Draco snorted, not at all impressed with the news. 'Very well then, give me the damn letter' he spat outstretching his hand impatiently.

His former buddy briskly walked over and handed him the blasted letter. Draco's hands were trembling slightly, he tried his best to hide it, hoping Greg would feel too uncomfortable to notice his own uneasiness.

The envelope bore the Malfoy crest. How very discreet. Draco most certainly wasn't subtle in his mockery, especially when it came to Potter and his gang. But even he would have avoided marking an envelope, which with all probability contained information that very well shouldn't be disclosed, with the Family freaking crest. And he was the disappointing one. Yeah, sure. He shook his head, carefully opened the letter and started reading.

 _Son,_

 _I am most pleased to inform you that our Lord has chosen you for a very important task. You will come home during Christmas break and meet with us, everything will be explained in due time. Be honoured and rejoice, for this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You will do as you're told, do not embarrass me Draco. After the Ministry fiasco our family needs a chance to redeem itself in the eyes of our Master, and you will be the one who will bring honour to us all. I believe there's no need to remind you where your loyalty lies, do not disappoint me. Keep a low profile, do not engage in stupid fights with Potter and his friend, especially not the Mudblood know-it-all. She's a clever little thing, and we don't want her to nose around and find out about the Dark Lord's plans. We don't need to be put under the spotlight. This is your chance to prove yourself worthy, son, your chance to show you will make a powerful Death Eater, a trustworthy servant. Let me remind you how tired I am of your incompetency and your systematic failures. I believe it is time for you to show you do belong in Slytherin. The destiny of our family lays in your young hands, there is no need to pinpoint it is essential to your mother's safety that you do as you're told and succeed in completing the task you will be assigned with. I am sure all my recommendations are unnecessary and that you will be flattered. You will make sure to show your gratitude properly. Prepare, son, to join the Dark Lord's ranks. Prepare to make history._

 _Your father, LM_

Draco sat silently for Merlin knows how long, when Gregory spoke 'Mate? Draco…you OK?'

'Get out' he said while getting up.

His bulky friend shifter nervously and stammered 'B-but Draco you should ans-'

' . .NOW' Draco snarled, his hands shaking uncontrollably, tears of frustration threatening to spill.

The other Slytherin backed away and disappeared through the wooden door, closing it behind him.

Draco sat back down on his bed. His head was spinning, and he couldn't breathe. Another panic attack was lurking in the deepest recesses of his already shaken body. He had to stop fighting it. As Granger told him to do. Breathe and let it come, have its way, and go. Breathe. Breathe deeply. OK, he was feeling a tad better. Just his luck, a shitty day and there came his father, making it even shittier with the shittiest news he could receive. Very important task. What the bloody fuck would he have to do to satisfy the noseless madman?

He couldn't do it. _It_ being whatever the horrid snake wanted him to do. He just couldn't. He knew he'd have to join them, sooner or later…but this was way sooner than he'd expected. His father had elegantly threatened both him and his mother, hiding his menace under a veil of politeness and flattery. Of course he also made sure to remind him how weak and disappointing he was as a son, but that was nothing new to Draco. What was new, and terrifying, was the prospect of being thrown into a war he wasn't sure he wanted to fight. Sure, he trusted his family, but this was too much, too scary, even for someone like him. Because in the end his confidence and ruthlessness was all a façade, and in that very moment he wasn't a future Death Eater. In that moment he was just a sixteen-years-old boy, who was scared out of his wits and just wanted to protect his mother and himself, for he was as self-serving as they came, from harm.

Draco sighed and decided that his father could very well wait a few hours for an answer. It was nearly lunchtime, and Granger told him he'd feel better if he ate something, so he headed towards the Great Hall, hoping to find his friends there. He would not let his father's missive ruin his already difficult day. He just wouldn't. What he would do from now on though, would be avoiding the Gryffindor bookworm at all costs. No, even better. He will make sure she will avoid him. She was a liability and he had no interest in failing his father. There was his mother's life at stake there, and he'd be cursed if he'd let the bloody Gryffindor Princess jeopardize everything just because she pitied him and saw him as her new sodding pet project.

* * *

Hermione headed straight towards Hagrid's hut. Nott would soon end his Care of Magical Creatures class, so her only chance to talk with him privately was to intercept him before he reached the school. She was pretty sure that, no matter how nice he'd been with her, he would not appreciate it if she decided to show up at the Slytherin table and ask him to follow her out. Not the wisest move, and not something she'd do anyway. Bravery was one thing, plain stupidity a whole other.

It probably was her lucky day though, as she spotted the very Theodore Nott heading back towards the castle on his own, his stare trained on his feet, probably to make sure not to trip on rocks and the likes. Furthermore, no Harry and Ron in sight, that was perfect. Otherwise they would most definitely have pestered her, wanting to know why she went and spoke with Nott. Thank Godric, though, the dark-haired wizard was very alone, so she waited for him to be within earshot and told him 'Your friend Draco Malfoy really is a piece of work. A puzzle. An interesting one at that'.

He jumped out of his skin, but as the true Slytherin he was, hid his surprise almost instantly.

'Merlin, Granger, you really can't stay away from me, can you?' he joked shaking his head in amusement.

Hermione rolled her eyes and said 'Prat. Stop being an idiot and listen to me, will you?'

He smiled, mock saluted her and said 'Yes sir'

'Where's Zabini, by the way?' she asked, glancing around worriedly.

'No idea, Princess' he answered, waving his hand dismissively.

Hermione frowned and said 'Princess? Really?'

He didn't even bother to answer and added 'He's never showed up for class, I guess he's somewhere in the castle…entertaining a student, or something like that…' he trailed off, a broad smirk on his pale face. What was wrong with Slytherins and their complexion anyway? They were all as white as sheets. It probably was the Dungeon. She'd undoubtedly be as pale if she spent most of her free time underground.

'As endearing as it might be, discussing Zabini's _social_ life isn't quite the reason why I came here, you know' she told him, not even wanting to _think_ about the dark skinned wizard concept of entertainment.

'I know, don't worry. You're more into pale, blond and obnoxious ferrets' he responded mischieviously.

Hermione was horrified. That was not something to joke about. 'NOTT! Try to be serious for a moment, I'm trying to ask for your help here…'

Nott snickered and told her 'Which I'm more than willing to give you, at the condition that you stop calling me Nott. That's my father's name, I'm Theo'.

Hermione studied him for a few moments, then gave up trying to understand the boy in front of her and said 'Very well then, Theo. But only if you call me Hermione, I tend to associate my surname to your friend's never-ending mockery, you know'

'OK, this is sorted then. Now, we really are buddies' he said grinning like an idiot.

Hermione snorted, could the boy ever be serious? She tried to focus on her speech and said ' _Anyway_ , I just wanted to tell you that _your_ friend just had a panic attack in the middle of a corridor…I guess he's slowly realising the seriousness of what he's done. Which, given who we're talking about, didn't take him that long. I mean, I didn't believe you entirely when you said he isn't the vile person he wants people to think he is…but the boy I saw before, crying in front of me, isn't an evil monster. I do get what you said last night, that he's had a shitty upbringing, that he's scared and he blames me because in his head I'm not supposed to be his equal but he's slowly realising that I might be just that. The thing is, all those things don't justify the violence and the…whole choking thing. I still have no idea _why_ he snapped the way he did in the Library, but maybe I'm not even suppo-'

He cut her short and said ' _Of course_ you are supposed to know, Gra-er Hermione. Just, I'm not the right person to tell you about it'.

'And who would this person be?' she asked sceptically.

Theo opened his arms and said 'Well, Draco himself of course! You will have to talk about it eventually, you know…and by that time I'm pretty sure you will know a lot more about his reasons, and he will too. Anyway...crying you say? This is…something. The idea of Draco Malfoy crying is…unsettling, even for me. I mean, I have seen him crying before…but it was because he fell from his toy broom, or because his father wouldn't allow him to buy something…and he was six or seven! He must really know he's fucked things up hugely, otherwise he wouldn't have showed you his weak side'.

Hermione thought that if the pale blond had any control over what happened in the corridor he very well _wouldn't_ have showed her a bloody thing. She was pretty sure that showing weakness, especially in front of the enemy, was not what he'd been taught to do. Yeah, he was fucked up that way. And she had started to enjoy cursing. Not the most ladylike behaviour, but she admitted to herself that it did feel good. Yeah, she was fucked up that way too, probably. She sighed and said to Theo 'I wish it never happened, you know'

Theo put a hand on her shoulder and whispered 'Of course you do, it must have been horrible…you must have felt helpless and, and I-'

She cut him off 'No, I actually meant…I know it must sound weird, and I know I _should_ be more affected than I am, but I stopped questioning my way of coping ages ago…what I meant to say is that the whole choking thing isn't the worst part…I can deal with that, what I can't even begin to process is…'

Theo gripped her shoulder and said 'What do you mean? Has he done something else today?' He sounded a good mix between concerned and enraged.

Oh, Merlin's pants, would the boy let her explain? It was difficult enough without being interrupted every other sentence! Hermione shook her head, not at all sure how to tell Theodore Nott that his friend Draco actually enjoyed the physical violence a little too much. 'Merlin, no! The poor bloke was a royal mess today, he even told me he's sorry…but yesterday while he was…I mean, he sort of _enjoyed_ hurting me, I guess' she said while blushing and looking at Theo's feet, hoping he'd get the hint.

Theo let go of her and took a step back…then he scrutinized her, trying to figure out if she was joking and in the end he just started…laughing. Like, outright laughing. Clutching his stomach, bending forward and...crying from laughter.

Hermione stared at him in disbelief for a while, then, since he wouldn't stop snickering, she punched him on the arm and said 'What are you laughing for? I'm not joking! I swear he…well, he…'

'Princess don't get your wand in a knot…I believe you. I'm not laughing because I think you're making it up! I'm laughing because you actually thought he was some sort of sadist that enjoyed inflicting pain'

Her cheeks were flushed and she was beyond embarrassed, she put her hands on her hips, a clear warning of her annoyance, a sign that both Harry and Ron had learnt to take very seriously, after experiencing her wrath first hand, not that Theodore would know what it meant, and she said 'Well, Mr. I'm-a-bloody-omniscient-being-and-I-know-all-about-all, then what happened exactly? What was I supposed to think? He was choking me and I felt his...I mean, I felt...it...well, you know what I mean! Stop making me uncomfortable ad say something already!'. Her cheeks were flushed and she just wished a giant hole would open beneath her feet and swallow her whole.

Theo laughed again, so hard that he actually had tears in his eyes. 'Hermione Granger…for being so bright you can be really blind sometimes. I mean, I guess Draco is probably somewhere beating himself up for it, he probably even thinks he's a monster and a sadist or the likes…but newsflash, I see no sadist and victim in this case. Let's not think about the part where he attacked you. Concentrate on the other part, the one that you so eloquently just told me about. All I see are a _boy,_ and _a girl_. Do you need me to draw it for you or is it clear enough?'

Hermione suddenly realised what he meant and shook her head violently, dying of embarassment. 'Shut up, you can't be serious! I mean…you should have seen his face once he realised…I mean, the boy actually threw up his dinner on the floor. I might be a girl, but trust me…I'm not his type. He doesn't even consider me as an equal…don't be ridiculous! He must have felt a surge of power while pinning me on the wall…' and she trailed off, as it sounded all wrong and she couldn't say it out loud.

'You can't always control those reactions, you know Princess…he might despise you as a person, but his body might disagree…You know, our brain is not always connected to our d-'

'Theodore!' she shrieked before he could say it out loud.

'...to other parts of our anatomy. I'm not saying you have to read something into it Hermione…I'm only saying that it's a simple physical reaction and it doesn't make him a perverted monster, it's just…nature?'.

The tension left Hermione's body once she considered that Theo was probably right. It was still disturbing, but it made sense, with all the rubbing…oh Merlin. Her face was in flames. She couldn't think about it! She'd actually thought he'd enjoyed so much being in control over a Mudblood…that, well…that he had an erection. The fact that it could all be ascribed to a natural reaction, he _was_ a teenage boy after all, was a relief. 'I still think he needs counselling' she said then, just to prove she wouldn't dismiss his actions as if they never occurred.

Theo exhaled and said 'A Therapist? A Mind Healer? Probably. He's completely fucked up and not at all willing to admit it. This morning he was drinking himself silly, then you tell me he's had a panic attack…' he trailed off lost in his thoughts.

Hermione nodded and said 'He did, and for a moment I thought he'd collapse there on the floor. I know I swore I would stay as far away from him as possible but I couldn't just go, could I? I mean, he's always been nothing but a pain in the ass since we were eleven, and I loathe his attitude as much as I loathe house elf slave labour..but he was so helpless and distraught...and I kind of forgot that the pale boy who was nearly fainting in front of me was the same boy who attacked me in the Library a little less than 24 hours ago. Well, no...I didn't forget...I just chose to...'

'Overlook it' finished Theo for her.

She nodded and kept explaining 'And then, I know you won't believe me, but he let me help him, he willingly touched me. _Me._ A Mudblood, that's all I've always been to him. Did you know he wished I was killed by the Basilisk back when the Chamber of Secrets had been opened? He's that person. He's the one that nearly got Hagrid fired because he was too stupid to pay attention and nearly got his own arm ripped off, he's the one that fed that horrible Skeeter all those lies about Harry and me, he's the boy who lead the Inquisitorial Squad and got us caught by Umbridge no later than a few months ago. And yet he was so desperate that he willingly leaned on me…I don't understand Theo, he's _confusing'_.

Theodore stood there in silence for a long time, then grinned enigmatically and said 'To you maybe. I have him all figured out now'.

Hermione eyed him questioningly and asked 'What do you mean?'

Theo shook his head and said 'Nothing you should worry about, Princess. So, why did you come here? Just to tell me my best friend had a panic attack and that yesterday he sort of enjoyed your proximity?'

Hermione reddened and stuttered 'I-I-well I actually…I might be willing to…help you?'

Theo nodded and smiled 'Well, you won't be helping me, Princess. I knew you couldn't resist, anyway. You have to save the human kind, don't you? And...you can't stay away from me…which of course I perfectly understand, given that I'm quite a catch myself'

'Theodore…' she warned him shaking her head and, against her will, found herself smiling at the dark haired boy. His blue eyes were sparkling with mischief, and his dark and messy hair framed his pale face. He was quite a catch, she guessed.

He held his hands up and said 'OK, just joking! Anyway…you probably have plans already, but if you don't…would you join me at the Three Broomsticks on Saturday?'

Hermione arched an eyebrow, while studying the tall, dark-haired wizard in front of her. What was he getting to?

He sensed her uneasiness and said 'Just a Butterbeer, Princess. You can tell me more about what happened today, I'll tell you what I know…and if you still think that Draco's soul is worth saving we can come up with a plan. I swear I'm not lurking you there to transform you into a toad or whatever you Gryffindors think we might enjoy doing'.

At that, the witch laughed heartily and said 'OK, but you might have to put up with Harry and Ron'. Then she darkened and added 'On second thought, just Harry. Ron will probably spend the whole day snogging Lavender somewhere very public to make yet again sure everyone knows they're together. Ew.'

Theo looked torn. Maybe she was wrong when she assumed he'd put up with her friends. He shook his head in defeat and said 'The-Boy-Who-Lived will not spend his time sharing a Butterbeer with the son of a Death Eater, Hermione…'

The girl shook her head and stubbornly said 'He will be fine, trust me. You are partners in Potions and Transfigurations, he knows you're not a jerk. He actually told me you aren't that bad…for being a Slytherin'

The wizard looked positively puzzled and asked 'Did he now? Surprising, given the fact that he barely spoke to me. I mean, I get that he doesn't like Potions, but he was sulking! It must be because he associates me with Draco…'

'Trust me, he _hates_ Potions. And during Transfiguration he was too busy fighting with Malfoy. But he never spoke ill of you, so really, he'll be fine if you sit with us for a while. I'll tell him in advance, and he'll probably just drink a Butterbeer and head to the Quidditch shop with Seamus and Dean anyway, so don't worry about him. He'll be just fine. The question is…will your Housemates be?'

Theo waved his hand and said 'I'm not the most popular boy in Slytherin, you know. I'm not even sure most people know I exist. I'm always 'That lanky boy' or 'Malfoy's new minion' so I don't really care what they say'

Hermione felt sorry for him for a moment. How was it possible that such a nice person was so underappreciated? She knew Slytherins were not the kindest people, but she had the impression that they were one big family and that they all looked after each other. He seemed pretty sure it'd be OK to meet her in Hogsmeade, but she still had her doubts. Doubts she decided to voice 'What about Malfoy though? He will bite your head off…' she said, hoping he will see reason.

Theo didn't seem concerned, though. 'He will sit with Blaise, sulk in a corner, throw death glares towards our table and end of the story. I'll tell him we needed to arrange our patrols or something like that'.

'Patrols?'. She was outright confused.

'See Princess? I told you no one ever notices me...I'm Slytherin Prefect this year'.

Ah. Right. Malfoy had been stripped of the title after the whole Inquisitorial Squad business. Dumbledore was kind and patient, but not endlessly forgiving. Yeah, patrols were a believable excuse, she guessed. Wow. Theodore Nott, Slytherin Pureblood, was willing to sit with her in a Pub, in public. Why was he being so nice though? Inviting her to…Oh, Godric! It wasn't a date…was it? Oh Merlin…and she told him she'd bring Harry along, he must have thought...but it couldn't be a date, not really…he was just concerned about his friend and wanted her help, that was all. And maybe he liked spending time with her, but it was…as friends, wasn't it?

She was still lost in thought, her cheeks still flushed with embarrassment when Theodore cleared his throat and said 'Princess, I have to leave. Your friends are coming this way, let's not try our luck this early…I don't want to end up with purple tentacles just because I'm standing too close to you. So…Saturday at noon at the Three Broomsticks, right?'

He was already leaving when she smiled and shouted 'Only if you stop calling me Princess!'

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 **Another A/N: Hope you enjoyed this Chapter and hope you are not disappointed...I did tell you it would be slow paced, didn't I? :) Anyway...I'm still looking for a second beta reader, possibly an English native speaker, someone that could help me with the idioms and those sort of things...anyone interested? If so, please message me ;) Thanks and of course...your reviews would make my day! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: First of all thanks to Lineswifty and Lizzie for betareading this chapter! Then...I really hope you enjoy it! See, this time it was a quick update :D *does Snoopy's Happy dance all over the room while listening to music***

 **Anyway...I just wanted to rec a couple of songs to go with this chapter - Bang Bang by Lawrence Taylor and My Head is a Jungle by Emma Louise &Wankelmut**

 **Guest ab I can't message you privately so... thanks for the review! I'm glad you're liking the story so far!**

 **And thanks to everyone else who took time to read and review! It's always much appreciated :)**

* * *

Draco entered the Great Hall with his usual swagger, determined not to show how he really felt inside. Blaise was already sitting at the Slytherin table with a smug look on his face. His hair was tousled and his tie had clearly been tied haphazardly. Not everyone had life-or-death matters to deal with, that much was pretty evident. Once Draco reached his friend at the long wooden table he raised an eyebrow and with the most annoying tone he could muster he said 'Guess you spent the last two periods caring _a lot_ about some magical creature…'. Blaise flashed him a wicked smile and said 'You bet mate. A _fiery_ magical creature indeed'. The blond Slytherin scoffed and sat beside his friend, dropping his schoolbag on the bench. That's when Blaise seemed to notice something was off with Draco and asked 'You alright mate? You seem a little bit disheveled yourself…thought you had Ancient Runes or something like that?'

Draco wisely chose that precise moment to stuff his mouth with bread, much like Theo would have done, and dismissed Blaise's concerns with a wave of his pale hand. He was lost in thought when someone sat in front of him, making him snap back to reality. Theo looked at him questioningly then turned to Blaise and said 'I guess you spent the past two hours doing something better than disinfesting the grounds. I had to eradicate thousands of Horklumps, and before you ask, no it wasn't funny'. Blaise snickered and said 'Mate, it's not my fault if I'm charming!'. Draco relaxed slightly, maybe his friends would not question him about his morning. He was sorely mistaken though, as no more than 30 seconds later Theo addressed him nonchalantly. 'So…how was your… _class_ Draco?'. That, he could deal with. He was a Slytherin, for Salazar's-sodding-sake, he was born to be a liar!

'Nothing short of boring, really' he answered dismissively.

Theo nodded, humoring him, then deadpanned 'Yeah, I imagine fainting in the corridor is just everyday business to you, after all'.

Draco retorted without thinking 'I didn't actually faint, I just had a-', and he stopped abruptly once he realized his mistake. Holy crap, this called for some explaining, just what he needed.

Well, at least they didn't know about the letter.

Blaise looked from Draco to Theo then back to Draco and asked 'Any chance it has something to do with why Goyle was frantically looking for you with a letter in his hand?'

Apart from the fact that they actually did.

The blond decided he wasn't hungry after all, and prepared to tell his friends about his eventful morning.

'After Transfiguration I…I followed Granger out, we share Ancient Runes class you see, and well…I just wanted to…I don't know what I wanted to tell her actually, because as soon as I took a step forward she jerked back and I sort of felt shitty for what I did to her, the rest is really all a blur. She told me I had a panic attack. I guess it was just a polite way to tell me I went barmy and finally cracked'. He purposely avoided telling them about how she helped him to his room. Little he knew that his friend Theodore had already been told.

Blaise looked surprised, how could Draco blame him? But Theo didn't seem shocked. He actually looked pretty…pleased? That was ludicrous, of course. Draco was most certainly suffering from the after effects of his meltdown, that was all.

His other friend wasn't over with the questions, though. 'So, what about Goyle? Hand delivered letters with the Malfoy crest on them can't be good news. By the way…your father might benefit from an intensive course in subtlety…I spotted the seal in no time'.

Draco scoffed 'Exactly the same thing I thought. Next time he tells me I don't know how to be subtle I'm going to laugh in his face, I swear!'.

Theo plastered a devilish grin on his pale face and said 'Pot, meet kettle. You must have taken your attitude from someone, after all. Anyway…what did he want?'

Draco wasn't ready to share the content of his father's letter with his friends. He probably would never be. Theo would just joke about it, as humour was his weapon against the dark and scary things they'd probably have to face. Blaise, though, might try to stop him…and that meant condemning his mother and himself. He couldn't afford it. He wouldn't tell his friends. He had to be strong and do what he had to do, no matter what it took him.

'You know my father…he wanted to kindly remind me to leave Scarhead, the Weasel and Granger alone, to not attract attention. And he told me I must go back home for Christmas Holidays. I'm so not looking forward to it. Guess we'll have some special…. _guests'_ he said grimly, resignation dripping from his tone.

Theo seemed satisfied by his answer, not so much Blaise, that to his credit though, didn't push the matter any further. Draco was about to resume eating, he did feel slightly dizzy, and food didn't seem such a bad idea, when Theo smacked his forehead and said 'Draco, but you can't go home for Christmas! Blaise is going to Italy! I will be left here alone! And there's the bloody Winter Ball!'. Draco threw a look at his friend. He seemed genuinely distressed and this only made him laugh harder than ever.

'Theo, it's just a Ball. Don't go, you'll survive' he offered between laughter.

'Yeah, don't go…fucking impossible to avoid it. I'm a Prefect, thanks to _you_!'.

Ah right, Theo took his place as Slytherin Prefect this year. What was the Headmaster thinking? If there was someone who wasn't suited for the role, it was Theodore Nott. He was supposed to go to the Ball and make sure all went smoothly. Yeah, sure. Did Dumbledore realize that Theo would probably be the one to spike the punch in the first place? He only got away with things because he had good marks and he was silent. No one knew he was as mischievous as they came. The epitome of Slytherin cunning, actually.

'Sorry to disappoint you, Theo…but it really looks like you'll have to find a date and go to the Ball, because I'm not too keen on blowing my father out just to make sure you're not too uncomfortable. He _is_ a dangerous Death Eater, you know', Draco joked.

The three of them resumed eating. Draco relaxed, disaster averted. His friends didn't question him further, too busy talking about their approaching Hogsmeade weekend.

* * *

Hermione spent the afternoon classes lost in thought. She obviously took notes, but she couldn't stop thinking about Malfoy, of all people! That night she went to dinner early, she didn't feel like being surrounded by people.

At the moment she was sitting in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor Common Room. It had always been one of her favourite spots in the whole castle. The plushy armchairs were the right amount of comfortable, and they made her feel at home. She was still thinking about Malfoy and his meltdown, about Theodore Nott and his charming ways, and about the approaching weekend. Hogsmeade. Theo actually asked her to meet him there, and she still wasn't sure that accepting had been such a splendid idea. She'll have to tell Harry. If her friend wasn't up to it, she would look for Theo and…and cancel the…what was it anyway? Meeting? Definitely not a date. She blushed at the very idea.

She was about to leave the room when a dark blur sat unceremoniously on the closest sofa. It was Harry, and he looked a little haunted. Her instincts kicked in and in no time she was sitting next to her best friend.

'Hey stanger, what happened?' she asked softly, while putting a hand on his arm.

Harry sighed and shook his head, then told her 'Hermione, hey…nothing really. I'm just thinking about Ron and Lavender – she cringed at the mention of the couple – and how despite everything they found their own happiness…and then I think about Ginny and her new secret lover…and in the end I think about us'.

Hermione wasn't sure what he was talking about 'What do you mean…us?'

Harry looked almost apologetic and said 'Well, we're the table scraps aren't we?'

Hermione's mouth dropped open and she wasn't sure if she felt affronted or moved by Harry's words. He'd just voiced what she'd been thinking lately. What was so wrong with her that Ron would consider her nothing more than a friend who did his homework?

And Harry, her brilliant, selfless Harry. If there was someone deserving of love, it was him. And Ginny spent her time bossing him around, only to then discard him for some stupid fling.

Maybe they only had to be patient, as there was someone for them out there, there had to be. They hadn't found their soul mates just yet. She knew she could be annoying and that most of the time she was bossy. She also knew that she could be very intimidating, with the whole being the brightest witch of their age thing. She also wasn't that pretty. She wasn't ugly…but no heads turned when she walked around. Then there was the fact that she was quite inexperienced. She wasn't a prude, as Malfoy always made sure to remind her. She wasn't scared of her body or her feelings…but no one ever seemed to see something more than an 'annoying bookworm' in her. And, of course, she was a Muggleborn, and the world they lived in seemed to deem that fact of utmost importance. It was important enough to fight and kill for…there would be a war soon. All of it for…blood.

Hermione sighed. She was well aware of all her faults…the reason why she was still alone, though, had always been clear. She was waiting for someone who'd like her _because_ of those things, not _despite_ them.

She was about to speak, but Harry wasn't finished yet 'You know, Hermione…I just feel defeated. I'm tired of this war, looming over our lives. And I'm not even sure I'll survive a-'

'Harry! –she cut him off, outraged – of course you'll survive! How can you say tha-'

'No, Hermione. Listen to me, please. I need to say it. I need to think about it. This is life, and in real life sometimes the Light doesn't win. Sometimes the bad guys triumph, and I came to terms with this possibility a while ago. I'm only asking you to be the clever girl I know you are and accept that, even though you desperately want us to win, we might not be able to. And…all I'm saying really is…as I'm not even sure I'll ever be able to _have_ a life…I'd just want to be happy now while I can. I would like to be loved for who I am. I love Ginny, I do. But she only had a crush on me because I'm The Boy Who Lived. And this hurts more than it should. I would like to be happy like Ron. He's found a person that accepts his faults and loves him nonetheless. Is it too much to ask, Hermione?', he finished, his gaze firm on her.

The Gryffindor girl was speechless, for a moment. Harry was usually such a private person, he must have been really upset to bare his soul in such a way. Hermione took a deep breath and said 'Oh, Harry…I just guess we're…different. We're challenging, and not for everyone. But we have to make the most of our lives, with or without romance. Because if it's love you want…then there _is_ love in your life. The Weasleys love you, I love you'.

He smiled shyly and said 'I just wish I felt something more than friendship for you…we'd be good together'.

Hermione shook her head and laughed lightly 'No we wouldn't. But I know what you mean…anyway stop trying to depress me! If I wanted tragedy in my life, I'd still be attending Divination!'.

Her joke served its purpose and lightened the mood. They both chuckled at the thought of Professor Trelawney and her tragic premonitions.

Suddenly Hermione remembered that she had something to ask Harry, and turned serious.

'Harry, listen…I know you don't like him too much…but Theodore Nott asked me if we could meet at the Three Broomsticks on Saturday to…sort out the patrols for the Prefects, and I told him you'd be there too…but I wanted to make sure you're OK with it…would you mind grabbing a Butterbeer with him?'

At first the dark haired wizard looked taken aback, but he recovered quickly and said 'Would I be the third wheel or something like that..? Because I can hang out with Dean and Seamus if you prefer…'

'NO! No, I mean…it's _not_ a date. So…will you come with us?' she asked pleadingly.

He pondered her request for a while before speaking 'I guess I could come for a drink…Nott is not _that_ bad, after all'.

Hermione beamed and hugged him. 'Harry, thank you! You really are something else…and one day someone will notice, and will ask you out…you'll fall in love and be happy…and everything will be all right…I just know it!'

After her praise he looked a little embarrassed, but hugged her back patting her shoulder. It wasn't long until they parted ways, heading towards their respective dorms.

Hermione changed into her pyjamas and went to bed, still thinking about Malfoy and Nott. Ah, those Slytherins...were making her lose her sanity! Her head was pounding and she felt the beginnings of a migraine hitting her. Malfoy...now, he was a complicated riddle. She couldn't help noticing the pain she saw in his eyes. It was totally irrational but as much as she couldn't stand him, she also felt for him. This morning when she saw him collapse in front of her she ached for him. She wanted to help him, damn her! But at the same time she wanted to be as far away from him as humanly possible. Merlin, she could be complicated! She had trouble understanding herself, how was she supposed to understand him? He was like...he was like an avalanche. Fascinating to watch from afar, but dangerous and deadly to be in proximity with. And he hated what she was, they were meant to be enemies.

Theo on the other end was confusing for a whole other series of reasons. He was one of Malfoy's closest friends...but yet they had very little in common. And he wanted to be her...friend. Or something like that anyway. He seemed genuine, and she could see he felt lonely most of the time. The only people who spoke to him were Malfoy and Zabini...even his own housemates avoided him. She guessed being shy wasn't properly an asset if you were sorted in Slytherin.

She soon drifted to sleep, and her dreams were full of snakes, tears, library floors and glimpses of dark and blond hair.

* * *

The rest of the week passed in a blur, without incidents. Hermione noticed how Malfoy did his best to avoid her, and much to her relief the other teachers said they hadn't figured out how to pair them yet, so the whole House Unity commotion would wait for another week, thanks Godric! The blond Slytherin never even glanced her way, while Theo would stop and say hello or exchange a few words here and there. Harry would stiffen at first, but he quickly came to terms with the presence of Hermione's new acquaintance. That didn't apply to Ron though, who'd bitch about it any time he could.

Hermione woke up on Saturday morning ready for the Hogsmeade trip. Ron told them he had no interest in meeting Nott for a drink and used him as an excuse to go and spend his day with Lavender. Ginny declined their offer to join them, telling them she'd already made arrangements, who'd probably include a certain new mysterious lover. That left her and Harry, who'd probably still be asleep anyway. She took her time and went to take a shower.

Taming her hair was what usually took her ages, and that morning wasn't any different. After struggling with the comb for a while, she returned to her room and got dressed in Muggle clothes. She loved the Wizarding World, but robes were not the most practical of attires, so she opted for a pair of jeans, a long sleeved t-shirt and Harry's Gryffindor Quidditch team hoodie. He stopped trying to get it back ages ago, recognizing it as a lost cause. Hermione headed towards the Common Room and was surprised to find Harry there, waiting for her. He was wearing black trousers, a light blue shirt and a jumper. She guessed he did it to try and impress Ginny and she suddenly thought she could have dressed a little bit more nicely. She was about to turn around and change her hoodie when Harry saw her and told her 'Right about time, I've been here for ten minutes already!' with a big smile plastered on his face. She shook her head and smiled back and decided that the hoodie would be just fine. Since when did she worry about her appearance anyway? Stupid thing really, since she wasn't going on a date. Theo had _nothing_ to do with her doubts, of course. Nothing.

'Good morning Harry. Ready?' she asked him once downstairs. He took her arm and said 'Definitely. Shall we?', and they both disappeared through the portrait hole.

* * *

Draco was sitting on his bed. He had spent the past few days studiously avoiding Granger, least she think that their "moment" after Transfiguration meant he wanted to be civil towards her. She was a liability he couldn't afford.

His days went by slowly, he showed up to classes, took notes and pretty much avoided human contact as much as he could. His nights though, were a whole other story. They were plagued by nightmares. The sort of nightmares that made you toss and turn, that made you cry in your sleep. He dreamt of cloaked figures, of green flashes and of his mother's face. He dreamt of red eyes and cold empty laughs, and every morning he'd wake up with a bitter taste in his mouth. The only thing he could think about was his father's letter and his impending fate. He would soon be one of the Dark Lord's pawns, and he was terrified. There had been a time when he would have been proud, now he was only paralyzed with fear at the bare thought of being thrown into a war bigger than himself.

He cast a Time Charm on the wall. It was 9.15 in the morning, and it was time to go. He stood up and reached the Common Room, waiting for his two friends. They'd soon have to go grab a carriage. Hogsmeade would provide him with distractions. He could stop by at Honeyduke's with Theo and Blaise, and then they'd have lunch at the Three Broomsticks, as per usual.

Or maybe not, since none of his fellow Slytherins were in sight. Where on Earth did they disappear? He was about to leave when Blaise appeared out of nowhere.

Draco scoffed and, before his friend could even open his mouth, said 'Oh, here you are! Where's bloody Theo? I thought you'd left without me!'

Blaise glanced around and told him 'Morning to you too, sunshine. Are we in a good mood?'. Draco ignored him so the dark skinned wizard went on 'Theo went out early today, said he had to go to the Library before heading to the village. You'll probably meet him there, mate'

The blond Slytherin scowled and asked 'You mean _we_ will probably meet him there, right?'

Blaise shifted nervously then told him 'Draco, I'm afraid you'll have to do without me today, I have a previous arrangement'.

Draco couldn't believe his ears 'You mean you, Blaise Zabini, Casanova extraordinaire, are going on… _a date?_ '

Blaise looked uncomfortable, which was weird, given his extreme confidence in all matters, especially girls. 'Yeah, a date…incredible what a boy would to do for a good shag, right?'. Draco was under the impression that his friend was interested in something more than a shag, but didn't call him out. He simply sighed and said 'Well, can you at least tell me who this bird is?'

His friend shook his head 'No Draco, I'm sorry but she asked me to keep it private'.

This meant the girl wasn't a Slytherin. Probably a Hufflepuff, then. They were sort of shy, after all. Draco decided that his friend's love life wasn't that important, so he just said goodbye and headed towards the Entrance, hoping that he could at least share a carriage with some fellow Slytherins.

He managed to get on a carriage with a group of fifth years. The girls kept giggling and openly staring at him, how annoying. He hated giggly girls, girls like Pansy. Why couldn't they be subtle and quiet? He would have considered hanging out with them if they weren't so bloody annoying. The boys in the carriage only asked him about Quidditch Try Outs. Ah right, they were supposed to be in the afternoon, but he had to move them to the following day as Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff had scheduled theirs before him. That meant they'd have to share the pitch with Gryffindor. How wonderful, he'd have to put up with Potty and the Weasel. Fucking brilliant. He snorted and said 'Tomorrow at 10 am. Read the bloody notice board in the Common Room instead of harassing me'. The boys looked affronted but wisely decided that insulting the Slytherin Quidditch Captain would ruin their chances to be part of the team. Not that they had any in the first place, but far be it from Draco to tell them.

Once in the village his first stop was the Owl Shop. He needed treats for his owl, Archimedes.

Right after the Owl shop he headed towards the Quidditch Shop, where he had the misfortune of meeting Weasley and his stupid girlfriend. 'Came here for some window shopping, Weasel? Come on, we all know you can't afford anything they sell here. Or maybe you're here looking for a job? That would be it, yes' he said, smirking.

The Gryffindor's ears were nearly purple, a clear sign he hit a raw spot. 'Shut up, Malfoy! At least I'm not my daddy's pet! I bet you came here to find help...to remove the broomstick you Malfoys seem to have up your arse since birth' he retorted smugly.

Draco was about to launch himself at the worthless git when the salesman appeared out of nowhere, probably sensing trouble 'Mr. Malfoy, what a pleasure...how can I help you today?'. The moment Draco turned to face the owner the Gryffindor couple disappeared out of the door. Hmphf. So much for Gryffindor bravery. Once he purchased a new Broomstick Service Kit he exited the shop and cast a Time Charm. Bloody hell it was 11.45 already! The blond hurried down the street towards the pub, looking for his friend Theo.

Once inside he spotted a dark mane and headed towards his friend's table. Theo looked up, mildly surprised. 'Oh, Draco...I didn't think you'd come...'

What did he mean he didn't think he'd come? They _always_ had lunch together. What was up with everyone today? Draco's eyes narrowed as he sat himself in front of his friend 'Were you waiting for someone else?'. Theo looked around nervously and said 'Actually, yes...now don't go all weird on me but Granger should be here anytime soon, mate...'. Draco was appalled 'What do you mean Granger will be here anytime soon?'

'Exactly what I said, Draco. So unless you plan on being civil, which I doubt, I suggest you to leave' Theo answered matter-of-factly.

Draco couldn't believe his ears. That had to be some sort of sick joke. A stupid prank Blaise and Theo were playing on him, making him pay for his lack of interaction during the past few days. 'Ok, Nott. Very funny. Now where's Blaise? I know what you two are up to and it's a pretty shitty prank mates'. Theo looked confused and said 'No, Draco...really. Blaise is off with some girl and I have to meet Granger in a few minutes'.

'And why, please tell me, would you even _want_ to be seen in public with her?'. He could feel a rush of annoyance course through him, the veins in his neck were about to explode. He could understand Blaise, a shag was a shag. But being stood up because of bloody Granger was unacceptable. Plus, what would Granger and Theo have in common? He was highly disturbed by the fact that his friend went and befriended Granger behind his back...he felt a pang of...of what? He couldn't name it but whatever it was he didn't like it.

'Because we have things to discuss. Hmm...patrol schedules. The Head Girl sort of told Herm-Granger to sort them out by herself and I was the only Slytherin willing to have a look at them with her...yeah'.

Draco could smell lies from miles, and that was a blatant one. Why was his friend hiding the truth from him? Didn't he trust him? They were like family, for Salazar's sake!

'Are you dating her, Theodore?' he asked, an ominous look on his face.

Theo opened his mouth to answer but before he could a voice coming from behind Draco cut him off 'I think this is none of your business, Malfoy'. An annoying voice that he unfortunately knew too well. He slowly turned to meet Granger and...Potter? What the heck was Potter doing there as well? What was going on with everyone?

'Potter? What the hell are you doing here?' he asked inquisitively.

'Since we're in a pub I'd say the answer is pretty obvious, Malfoy' answered the bespectacled wizard scathingly.

'Don't try and make me look like a fool, Scarhead' he retorted angrily.

'Why should I? You're making an excellent job at it on your own, I don't think you need my input' said Potter with a satisfied grin on his face.

Draco stood up abruptly and was about to punch the fucking idiot when Theo stopped him, grabbing him from behind. 'Draco! Would you stop being a git? Do you want to end up in Detention because you punched Harry bloody Potter? No offence, mate – he said turning towards the Gryffindor – Draco, look...I just have to sort this Prefect patrols thing out with Granger, it won't take long...for Salazar's sake, get a grip and stop being immature. Wait for me somewhere else, or sit here and shut the fuck up'.

Draco turned around, his eyes two slits and said 'Fine, Nott. I'll wait for you somewhere else. Make sure you wash your hands before coming anywhere near me, given that you have to be with such... _scum_ ' he said glancing at Granger.

He couldn't stop in time. He knew he was being an asshole but that was the only thing that felt safe. Granger, on her part, was speechless. 'Don't look at me like that, Bookworm, did you think we'd be on friendly terms just because last time we were together I didn't insult you? As you recall I wasn't feeling too well...that would be wh-' he never got the chance to finish as a palm connected with his cheek with a loud SMACK.

So, Hermione Granger slapped him. Again. And this time in front of everyone. That'd do wonders for his reputation.

He was still too shocked to say anything but the girl clearly wasn't finished as she approached him and pointed a finger at his chest 'You are incredible! At first I thought you were an evil bastard, I must admit. I thought you really believed in the idiocy of the Pureblood doctrine. But after a few... – she looked at Theo who only managed to shake his head as a warning not to include him in the picture – happenings, I realised the situation is even worse. You are simply a coward, you don't even fully believe in what you do. Listen to yourself...you call me scum but you're shitting your pants at the idea of dealing with your father. If you truly believed I'm inferior you wouldn't be so scared now, would you? Come on, Draco Malfoy...at least have the decency of being coherent. If I'm such scum how about staying the fuck away from me? But no, let's go and mock the Mudblood, it's so much fun! You would actually be believable if you didn't rely on said Mudblood to get you sorry arse to your room after a panic attack caused by your own idiocy the day before! I'd be enraged if I weren't disgusted! You know, the funniest thing is that you keep parading around telling people how you wish Harry failed but at the same time you're paralysed at the idea that he won't succeed in fighting Voldermort – Draco cringed when he heard the wretched name, and Granger scoffed – look, the great Malfoy Heir can't even listen to his Master's name without wetting himself. You're ridiculous. You're ridiculous and a coward and a hypocrite, because you can pretend as much as you want but I know that deep inside you _hope_ Harry here wins and saves your sorry ass from certain death. You wouldn't last a day, and you know it! Grow up and stop labelling people based on their supposedly dirty blood. Open your pureblood eyes...my blood is as red as yours, you poor excuse of a wizard!'.

Her face was all red and blotchy and her chest was heaving, she was dragging ragged breaths and her eyes were shining. Potter was looking at the pair of them in disbelief and Theo's eyes were on the floor. DRaco couldn't move, couldn't even retort. All he felt was guilt, and a small amount of shame. News of this little confrontation would reach the school in no time and the Merlin-damned girl just made him look like an idiot. The only sensible option at that point was retreat, so he simply turned around and left. He shouldn't have been affected by Granger's words, but he was. He'd been an ungrateful arse and she was 100% right, thus why he was so fucking mad. She could read him like an open book and he didn't like it in the least. He just hoped his father wouldn't hear about this incident, or he'd be pretty much fucked, given the fact that he'd just blatantly ignored his orders.

* * *

Hermione, Harry and Theo waited for Malfoy to exit the pub then they all exhaled a breath. No one knew what to do, but it was Theodore who regained his spirit first. He looked at the two Gryffindors, shook his head and said 'That went well'.

Harry was still pretty bewildered but turned around and watched Theo, then he erupted into laughter. The Slytherin Prefect followed right after. Hermione blinked twice and took in the oddity of the scene, then couldn't help laughing herself.

Once people stopped looking at the three of them they sat back at their table and Harry was the first to speak 'So...what about Malfoy's room? And the panic attack? And what exactly happened the previous day, Hermione?'. The girl sighed and launched into a detailed explanation of what happened between her and Malfoy, leaving out the little detail of his erection when in the Library. To his credit Harry never interrupted her, nodding here and there to signal he was still following her. Once she was finished she grabbed one of the Butterbeers that Madam Rosmerta so kindly brought to their table and drowned it.

Harry scratched his head and said 'So he attacked you, Nott here found you and helped you, then the following day he wanted to talk to you but had a panic attack in the middle of a corridor and you willingly helped him to his room? Is that it?'

Hermione looked at Theo, then back at Harry and said 'Well, pretty much...yes'. She braced herself for her friend's wrath but it never came.

Harry stood there, silently lost in thought, then he exhaled and said 'Well, I wish you told me about his attack, but I guess he'd be a dead ferret by now. I can't believe the ungrateful bastard! Hermione, he's beyond being helped and he would certainly _not_ want your help anyway...I know you have this big bleeding heart, but please don't get involved. He's going to hurt you over and over...and for what? It's not like he's a friend or something...'

Hermione smiled and said 'You are right, I should just let the ferret drown in his self-pity. Theo, you OK? Do you want to go after him? We don't mind if you do, right Harry?'

Harry looked at Theo and shook his head 'Not at all'.

Theo sighed and said 'He'll rip my head off if I try and speak to him right now. I'll just wait a little longer. Anyway...Hermione, you have the ability of reading him like an open book...I guess that's why he's always an ass when you're around. That, and the fact that you're a Gryffindor Muggleborn witch, best friend with Harry Potter and Ron Weasley'.

Harry looked mildly affronted and said 'And what's wrong with that?'

Theo smirked and said 'Nothing, apart from the fact that you represent everything his father taught him to hate, really. No big deal, right?'

Hermione watched her friend carefully, ready to grab him should he attack Theo. But Harry actually smiled and shrugged his shoulders, and the tension left the table...and her body. The bespectacled wizard held out his hand to Theo and said 'I believe we never properly introduced, even though we are Potions partners. Harry Potter, Gryffindor sixth year, also known as The Boy Who Lived, much to your best friend's disappointment'.

Theodore had his mouth open in disbelief, but he recovered quickly and took Harry's hand 'Well, holy fuck, I'm Theodore Nott, Slytherin sixth year, son of a convicted Death Eater and friend with a certain blond idiot'.

Hermione witnessed this exchange in complete and utter amazement.

Boys, she'll never fully understand them.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Here's the next chapter! Thanks to my two friends and betas Lizzie and Lineswifty for checking this chapter :) Hope you all like it, and please remember the rating of this story (M!) :P Thanks for the lovely reviews...they always make my day! Feel free to bury me under your reviews, I swear I won't complain lol! xx**

* * *

Hermione was woken up by Lavender and Parvati's giggles on Sunday morning. Those girls would never learn how to be quiet. Why were they up so early anyway? She was about to turn her back to the annoying sound when Parvati unceremoniously opened her curtain and told her 'Hermione! Come on, wake up! You'll be late!'

Hermione groaned and covered her eyes with the back of her hand 'Parvati, for Godric's sake it's Sunday morning, let me sleep a little bit longer!'. She had little to no sleep the previous night, too busy thinking about what happened at the Three Broomsticks. Stupid Malfoy and his stupid behaviour! She should have felt guilty for slapping him so hard but she didn't. He had been a colossal jerk, especially given the fact that she'd helped him when he was having his bloody panic attack and sort of forgave him for nearly choking her in the Library. Sort of being the key word. During the night she reached the conclusion that she was probably just disappointed, as she had hoped he would be civil with her from that moment on. Why she would want him to be civil, though, she couldn't really tell.

She couldn't help thinking about their confrontation the previous day and cringed when she recalled just how hard she'd slapped him. The git deserved it though, or so both the boys had told her. After Malfoy'd left the pub things went smoothly. She had a couple of Butterbeers with Harry and Theo, then they all headed back to the school. She never got the chance to spend some time alone with Theo, hence they never got to talk about Malfoy. Not that she even wanted to anymore, the blond Slytherin had proven himself worthless of her time. But enough with Malfoy! Hermione had to admit that she enjoyed the rest of the day quite a lot, surprisingly the two boys seemed to get along, even though they were still a bit cautious with each other, and spent the whole trip back talking about Quidditch. Just her luck. When she thought there was nothing worse than Harry and Ron talking about Quidditch she was sorely mistaken. Harry and Theo talking about Quidditch was even worse; the obvious House Rivalry between the two of them made their confrontation longer, harsher and, well…more confrontational. Plus, Hermione had the lingering suspicion that Theo wasn't a Quidditch expert and was struggling to keep up with Harry while hiding it at the same time. Slytherins were weird that way: Never show you have a weakness. Or maybe Theo sensed Harry's cautiousness and was just trying to talk about something they sort of had in common. But that would be too nice a thing to do. Maybe. Hmmphhh, anyway…Hermione didn't enjoy the trip back as much as the rest of the day…stupid Quidditch!

Oh, Quidditch! That was why her two dorm mates were so excited, there were Gryffindor Quidditch Try Outs at 10 that morning. Crap, she'd promised Harry, Ron and Ginny she'd go and support them. Harry was still the Gryffindor Captain and Ginny and Ron were trying for Chaser and Keeper respectively. Harry, being the fair and just boy he was, made all of his friends try out as everyone else. No favoritisms. Hermione was sure that Ginny would have no trouble making it onto the team, but Ron always let his nerves get the best of him, she really hoped no one else would try out for Keeper.

'Hermione? Are you coming or not? We're about to leave!' said Parvati impatiently, standing at her bedside with her hands on her hips and tapping a foot on the floor.

The Gryffindor Prefect got up and groaned again, the morning light really was annoying. She focused her attention on her friend and said 'Yeah, I'll come sure. I just need to shower and get dressed first'.

'Do you want us to wait for you? We don't mind, you know' said Parvati glancing towards Lavender.

'Yeah, sure.'

Parvati was genuine, but Hermione was pretty sure Lavender did mind waiting for her. As if on cue, the blonde appeared at Parvati's side wearing a hand knitted Gryffindor scarf and looked at Hermione with a mixture of suspicion and dislike. There were no words to describe how much Hermione disliked that girl. And not because of Ron, well…not entirely anyway. It was because she was shallow and giggly. Because she thought the most important things in life were boys and make-up. And because she had a brain the size of a peanut. Well, ok…maybe she wasn't _that_ stupid. But, still…she was no Einstein either. Hermione sighed and thought this could be the perfect chance to follow Harry's advice and stop being nasty to the blonde, so she took a deep breath and said 'Morning, Lavender. Nice scarf, did you knit it?'. The girl was a little taken aback by Hermione's kind voice, but regained her composure and politely said 'Oh well…thanks! No, Mrs. Weasley sent this to Ron, actually…but he said I could wear it if I wanted to. And I do…I want to support him today'. Hermione ignored the irrational pang of jealousy – she wasn't interest in Ron in _that_ way, after all - and took a big breath. Then with her politest tone said 'It really suits you, Lav. I'm sure Ron will be happy to see you wearing it. Anyway, thanks for the offer girls, but I really don't want you to miss anything because of me, you go to the Pitch and I'll be there soon'.

After the two girls left, Hermione went to take a quick shower, to wash away every stupid Malfoy-related thought, and to wake up completely. The hot water pouring on her skin felt amazing and she closed her eyes and let the vapour envelop her, while running her hands through her messy hair. She massaged her own scalp, trying to ease the tension that constantly accompanied her since the Library incident. She then slowly caressed her neck and shoulders, still massaging them. The soap was creamy and smelt of cinnamon and oranges, it reminded her of the approaching winter and of mulled wine, and it was her favourite scent, so she always made sure not to run out of it. She kept her massage going till she reached her breasts and – after a moment of hesitation - she started massaging them, a feeble moan of satisfaction escaping from her mouth. She rarely indulged in those little moments of pleasure, but that morning she just couldn't stop. It had to be the tension of that past, crazy week. Her hands seemed to work on their own accord and slowly started rubbing and caressing her chest, stimulating her nipples and making her stomach flutter. She was overwhelmed by the pleasant sensations her hands were giving her. She seemed unable to make her hands stop. Her right hand kept slowly going down, stroking her belly and going down, till it reached her core, which was throbbing with need. She was about to stop, but then realized no one would interrupt her, as every single student was outside, heading towards the Pitch. Before she could change her mind she slowly started to massage her clit, another moan, this time a little louder, escaping from her mouth. She closed her eyes and, while her hand kept moving, she imagined a pair of strong hands encompassing her in a firm hug, and gently stroking her. She imagined a long finger stroking her entrance, then her thighs and her bum. Hermione was whimpering and desperately massaging her core, still lost in her fantasy. She was about to reach her peak and she kept picturing those strong and lean arms grabbing her, while holding her tightly …and a soft mouth kissing her neck and shoulders, pale skin against her darker, Mediterranean tones, and a pair of amazing, grey eyes. Wait…NO!

And in mere seconds the moment was lost and Hermione found herself panting in the shower, a disgusted look on her face.

What _the fuck_ had just happened?! She _didn't_ just picture Malfoy while touching herself right? It definitely wasn't him. A lot of people had pale skin. Theo had pale skin! And the soft lips…how was she supposed to know how Malfoy's lips were anyway? She'd only ever saw them spitting insults and smirking deviously. And the eyes….they weren't properly grey maybe. Yeah, they simply were…light? They could have been blue, light blue…grayish. But that didn't mean they were Malfoy's eyes! There were hundreds of people with grey eyes anyway.

Only, that wasn't entirely true, and a small part of Hermione knew. A part she yet had to come to terms with.

She dismissed the incident and hurried towards her room. She quickly got dressed, sporting Gryffindor colours, and cast a Time Charm to check if she still had time to grab a quick take away breakfast. It was only 9.30 so she relaxed slightly, grabbed her cloak and reached the Common Room. There was no one in sight, they would all be outside near the Pitch, enjoying the sun and the light breeze while waiting for the Quidditch Try Outs to start. She exited through the portrait hole and strolled down the corridors, enjoying the silence typical of Sunday mornings, not even Peeves was in sight, she noted with relief.

She was about to enter the Great Hall when she heard someone calling her name. She turned and saw Theo rushing towards her. He was dressed in Slytherin Quidditch gear. Well, that was weird.

The dark haired wizard reached her and said 'Hello Princess! Are you coming to see me? Just let me grab a slice of toast, I'll grab you a slice too!'. He left her there, dumbfounded and speechless, only to return a minute later with a take away breakfast for her.

'So? Still sleeping? Are you coming or not?' he prodded.

Hermione was still a bit confused by his eagerness and said 'Why are you wearing Quidditch gear?'

Theo looked at her incredulously and said 'There are Slytherin Try Outs in 10 minutes, Princess! I'm trying out for a Chaser position, coming to cheer for me?'

'What do you mean Slytherin is trying out? I'm going to the Pitch to see Harry, Ron and Ginny! Gryffindor Try Outs start in less than ten minutes, you must have confused the time, or something like that' said Hermione with a hopeful tone. She liked Theo, but the rest of Slytherin team wasn't exactly…nice.

Theo looked amused 'No, I'm best friend with the Captain, remember? I'm sure I've got the time right. We're probably trying out with Gryffindor, Draco went to complain the other day but it's now evident that Madam Hooch didn't give him any other option. We'll share the Pitch, no big deal'.

No big deal, right.

Hermione felt her stomach fall. Slytherin and Gryffindor together on the Pitch only meant trouble, she'd have to make sure Harry and Ron wouldn't end up in the Hospital Wing. They had a penchant for Quidditch injuries and her nerves could only take so much. She looked at Theo, noticing for the first time how tall he was. She had to admit he looked good in green, it brought out his deep blue eyes, giving them an emerald accent. The observation reminded her of her fantasy, and she had to reluctantly admit to herself that his eyes didn't match the ones in her daydream, making her blush deeply in embarrassment. The boy noticed her crimson cheeks and said 'What's the matter Princess? You think I look good in my Quidditch uniform?'. Hermione wished the cause of her embarrassment was Theo's physical appearance, but alas it wasn't. She looked him in the eyes and shook her head 'Nothing really…and yes, you do look decent in green…but I will deny having said that, so don't even try and repeat it'. He smiled and took her arm, gently pulling her towards the exit 'You flatter me, Princess. Now, shall we go? Draco is already mad at me for what happened yesterday, I don't want to give him an excuse to kick me out without even trying for the position. The jerk wouldn't talk to me…as if I was the one to slap him! If I don't make it onto the team I'm totally going to blame you, be aware!' he joked.

Hermione snickered and let him pull her towards the doors, just praying that there would be no drama on the Pitch.

* * *

Draco and Blaise were walking towards the Quidditch Pitch, fully dressed in their Slytherin Quidditch Uniforms, the dark-skinned wizard trying to calm his blond friend down. Draco had been bitching about 'traitorous friends' and 'bloody Gryffindors' for the past 15 minutes, and Blaise was so aggravated by Draco's tantrums that he was about to hex him, no shit.

'Draco, you're being unreasonable! Why couldn't we wait for Theo, again?' Blaise asked with exasperation.

The blond scoffed and said 'Why? Blaise, for Salazar's sake! Because he arranged a meeting with Granger and bloody Scarhead? And because he dismissed me. And because he didn't say a single thing when that bloody girl slapped me in front of half of Hogwarts' population! And let's not forget that he didn't follow me out to check on me. He chose _them._ This is a betrayal! He's a traitor! I won't talk to him ever again! And if he thinks I'm letting him on the team he's crazy! He's a good flyer, but I don't want fucking traitors in my team! Understood?'

Blaise let his friend finish his rant then shook his head and said 'Don't you think you're…overreacting a little bit? Mate, I'm sure Theo meant no harm…you know how he is. He's an idiot when he's with us, we know our Theodore…but he has no other friends, people tend to avoid him. I just think that…he likes spending time with Granger because she's one of the few people who doesn't think he's 'Malfoy's silent minion'. They're both quite quick, I bet they have loads of nice conversations…and you know how Theo has no sides in this war…he doesn't want to be involved true, but he also doesn't really care about her parents or her House. What's wrong with that? He's not doing this to annoy you, mate!'

Draco, though, would see no reason. He stubbornly shook his head and said 'There is no way I'm going to let him hang out with Granger! He can't be interested in her! He never said he was! Blaise he can't do this to me!' and he was nearly panicking at the bare thought.

'Well, he _is_ the one who noticed Potter was hugging her. And he is the one who helped her after you nearly choked her. So maybe….the interest was there for the whole time, but we just never noticed. Is it that bad, Draco? That a friend might find happiness, I mean. Is it so disturbing?' asked Blaise.

How could Draco explain that yes, apart from being quite disturbing, it was also dangerous? How could he make Blaise understand, without telling him about his father's letter? Granger was a liability, and Theo couldn't be his friend _and_ Granger's. Yes, Draco was still mad about the whole Pub Incident, but he was also scared. Scared for his own life and his mother's. And maybe a tiny bit scared for his friend as well. How could that idiot think no one would find out about who he spent his time with? That boy was a fool.

Draco was also really annoyed. He couldn't quite grasp why, but the idea of Granger and Theo disturbed and affected him more than it should have. He tried to figure out why he so fervently disliked the idea of them together, but the only thing he came up with was the fact that he didn't want his friend to taint his reputation, which was already non-existent as it was, especially after his father's conviction. But that was a lame excuse, and if Draco wasn't so stubborn he would admit it to himself.

He would have kept thinking and ranting, except they reached the Pitch. Holy snakes, it was crowded! No one ever minded much about Slytherin Try Outs, what was going on? He was about to ask Blaise why all of a sudden Slytherin was so popular, when he saw a sea of red and gold on the stands. Ah, Gryffindor. Of course.

He tried to chase his disappointment away and turned to face his friend. 'Bloody Gryffindors. All the school came to see them, of course'.

'Well, Draco…they have Potter. _Of course_ the whole school came to see them. We're the evil, snarky, bitchy ones, while they're the chivalrous, brave knights in shining armour, right?'

'How wonderful to see you know your place in the world, Zabini' a female voice said from behind them.

Draco and Blaise turned around and found themselves facing the She-Weasel, who was smirking deviously at them. The blond spoke first 'Weaselette, you can't even afford a decent broom, why don't you sod off? I'm not in the mood'.

The Weasley girl looked affronted and said 'Not everything is about you, you git! Did I give you the impression I was talking to you?'

Draco pointed his finger toward the annoying Gryffindor girl and said 'You'd better keep that lovely mouth of yours shut, Weasley. Or I might make sure you accidentally fall from your broom'

The girl was seething and was about to retort when Blaise decided to cut in 'Enough! Weasley, as much as I appreciate your wit I suggest you leave us alone and go meet your team. Good luck with the try outs, you definitely need it given what you're flying on' he added pointing at her broom with a superior look on his aristocratic face.

The redhead looked at him incredulously and left without saying another word.

Draco scoffed and said 'Weird girl. I'd swear she expected you to take her side, mate'. Blaise looked at his friend and laughed 'Yeah, sure! Draco you really have to stop with all those conspiracy theories, trust me! Now, shall we go? We have to find two chasers and a keeper…and you'd better pick the best ones, even though you aren't talking to them at the moment…'

Draco rolled his eyes and drawled 'I really have no idea what you're talking about, Blaise' and they both headed towards the corridor that opened on the Pitch.

Once they reached their half of the pitch, Draco had a good look around. The stands weren't crowded, but in comparison to the emptiness he was used to during his previous Try Outs, they were quite full. He glanced towards the other half of the pitch and spotted Potty speaking to a huge crowd of wannabe players. He even spotted first years, girls who probably never even saw a broom in their lives before and…wait! Weren't those two Ravenclaws?! Hmpphhf. Fucking Wonder Boy. Everyone wanted to see _him,_ of course. Especially after his name had been cleared out after the battle at the Department of Mysteries.

Draco then took a look at the stands and saw a small Slytherin delegation. Pansy was wearing Slytherin green and was leading the cheers. The girl was annoying, but no one could say she wasn't determined. She would always support the team. Draco suspected the main reason was that she hoped he would finally give in and ask her out, but that was a mistake he wasn't keen on repeating. He moved his gaze and saw groups of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws scattered on the stands, and then he stopped on the huge spot of red and gold that were the Gryffindors. He could see that Lovegood weirdo wearing a Lion's head and sitting among the Gryffindors, then there was Longbottom - thank Merlin _he_ wasn't trying out! – and right beside Longbottom there was the bane of Draco's existence. With that hair it was difficult not to notice her. Granger was wearing red and gold, and was looking worriedly at her friends. Draco was lost in thought when a voice from behind interrupted his train of thoughts.

'Hey mate, still mad at me?' said Theo while patting him on his left shoulder.

Draco slowly turned around and looked at his friend, then completely ignored him and spoke to the small group of people gathered there.

'Listen everyone! I'm sick of Potter and his bloody House winning every single game against Slytherin, and I will do my best to beat him, this year. In order to do so, I need a brilliant team. You all know Blaise Zabini, he's our Chaser. Then there are Crabbe and Goyle, our own beaters. Unfortunately our keeper and the other two chasers graduated last year, so now I'm here to find their replacements. Now, get on your brooms and show me how you fly. I'll call you back on the ground in five minutes'.

All the wannabe players mounted on their brooms and took off, except Theo who was still waiting for Draco's response. The blond looked at his friend and said 'Well, Nott? Why aren't you flying? I suggest you take off this instant or I'm going to kick you out and you can say goodbye to your chances of becoming our new chaser'. The dark haired wizard looked disbelievingly first at Draco, who blatantly ignored him, then at Blaise, who shook his head and pointed his finger towards the sky. Theo sighed and mounted on his broom, then took off and started flying around.

Draco and Blaise spent the next five minutes silently watching the Slytherins in the air. 'Merlin, some of them are a joke!' exclaimed Blaise after a short while. Draco couldn't disagree. There were only six people who could fly out of the fifteen that were currently in the air, and one of them was Theo. He whistled and everyone landed around him. 'I really appreciate your interest in joining our team, but not everyone made it to the next screening phase. Now I only want to see Pritchard, you three fifth years over there, sorry I don't remember your names guys, then Bletchley...and Nott. Bletchley go up there and defend the rings! Now you two! –he really couldn't remember the fifth years' names - take the Quaffle, you're so average I can't even remember your names, try and make an impression! You have five minutes to show me what you've got! The people I haven't called can go, thanks for trying'.

He saw Blaise pat Theo on the shoulder but made no comments, then started paying attention to the players. The two boys trying out for chaser weren't too bad, but they weren't team material. It only took him 3 minutes and a half to realise it, so he blew his whistle and they all landed in circle around him.

'OK, now I want the others in the air, you have five minutes!' and he blew his whistle again.

Draco had no doubts, it only took him a minute or so to make up his mind. Pritchard was an excellent flyer, and so was Theo. Blaise was right, he had to choose the best players, and no matter how mad he was at Theo, he was really good, so he deserved his spot on the team. The guy trying for Keeper was hopeless, though. But Bletchley wasn't bad at all. OK, he had his new team members. Draco blew his whistle and they all touched down swiftly.

'OK, I've made my decision. Our new Keeper is Miles Bletchley! – after hearing the news the boy mounted on his broom and started celebrating in the air, while the Slytherins on the stands cheered him, waving their green flags – and our new chasers are Graham Pritchard and Theodore Nott!' he announced.

Before anyone could celebrate, one of the discarded fifth years spat on the ground and said 'This was pointless, everyone knows you are friends with Nott and you would have given him the spot anyway! You're a fraud!'

Everyone fell silent. Blaise stepped towards Theo and they both turned their attention to their captain.

Draco slowly turned to face the idiot who just spoke and said 'I'm sure I haven't heard you correctly, you nitwit. But in case I did...let's just make things clear. Have you just accused me of fixing the Try Outs? Didn't your idiotic brain think that if I wanted to give the spot to my friend I would have done so, without even making him try out in the first place? How do you think Crabbe and Goyle were chosen? There was no need for try outs last year, so I held none. But I guess you are too stupid to consider the facts. I guess you've forgotten who you're talking to. Need I tell you how hard it is to have one of the most influential Slytherins in school against you, right? Now, bear this in mind, I am the captain, my word is law here. I don't need to fix a stupid try out to get what I want! Now, out of my sight, you imbecile!' he thundered.

The boy seemed mildly terrified by Draco's words. Or maybe it was his glacial tone. Anyway, he left hastily and his friends followed him without even throwing a glance towards Draco, who turned towards his team and said 'OK, now that this had been sorted...welcome to the Slytherin Quidditch Team!'

At first no one moved, then Blaise started clapping and the whole team followed his lead. Draco sighed and mounted his broom. He circled over his teammates heads while glancing towards the Gryffindors. Their Try Outs were nearly over, they only had to fill the Keeper position. Potter insisted his friend Weasel tried out like everyone else, and Draco couldn't blame him. The readhead wasn't half bad, not that he'd ever admit it out loud, but his nerves prevented him from being an excellent player. Draco watched curiously as McLaggen – now _that_ was a pompous idiot – approached the goal posts. So, he was trying to steal the Weasel's position...how would Granger take it? He involuntarily searched for her messy mop in the sea of Red and Gold...she was clutching her scarf and was worriedly witnessing McLaggen catch his fourth Quaffle in a row. Draco shook his head and turned around, the pompous bastard would get his spot on the team without incident. He was about to ask Blaise to mount his broom and reach him in the air when he heard a roar coming from the stands behind him. He quickly turned to witness a very confused-looking McLaggen completely missing the save. How was that even possible? It looked as if he'd been confu- then it hit him. He directed his gaze towards Granger and saw her covering her mouth and looking quite guilty. Draco was nearly amused at how Slytherin _ish_ her move had been. She just broke a zillion rules only to make sure Weaselbee made it into the team. And the git didn't even notice...he was too busy showing off in front of his girlfriend. How could he prefer that blonde airhead to Granger was beyond him...the boy really was an utter idiot.

Draco realised how dangerous his thoughts were becoming and shook out of his stupor. Then, before he could change his mind he scanned the air till he found Potter and flew towards him.

'Hey Scarhead! Since we're all done with the Try Outs, what about a friendly match?' he shouted.

Potter turned his broom and flew nearer 'Sure, Malfoy. So you can injure my players even before the Quidditch Cup starts'.

'Oh, really Potter? Are you scared of Slytherin? Well, if you don't have the guts I guess I'll just leave...' he said while turning his broom towards where his team mates were standing. He started counting...1...2...

''Malfoy! Wait! I'm not scared of you, let's play' shouted Potty from behind him. Draco smirked, he knew the Golden Boy too well. He knew he would accept; anything to prove he wasn't scared of Draco Malfoy, right?

Draco stopped his broom and turned yet again, only to say 'OK, gather your team and get ready to lose Potty!'

The Slytherin Captain reached his team and quickly explained about the impromptu match versus Gryffindor. They were all more than happy, especially Crabbe and Goyle, who'd try and knock the Gryffindors off their brooms any chance they got. Draco glanced towards Theo and saw he was a little nervous. His first real match. He was about to go and encourage him, then he remembered he was still mad at him and simply turned around, ready to play.

With great displeasure he saw that the referee would be Loony Lovegood. Perfect. Who was the idiot who asked her to referee? Merlin's friggin pants!

He shrugged his shoulders and flew above the other players, levelling his broom with Potter's. Once all the players were at their places Lovegood blew the whistle and the game begun. Draco zoomed all over the pitch, looking for the snitch...he saw a golden sparkle close to the Gryffindor goal posts so he headed that way. He was scanning the air when Weasley shouted 'Came here to distract me, ferret?'. Draco sighed, as if the redhead needed distractions! He sucked already! He flew closer and answered 'No need to, you are an expert at it already Weasel. Now go and defend your goal posts and let me win this match'.

Wrong thing to say, apparently as the ginger shouted 'You're worthless Malfoy, do you really think you can beat Harry? He's twice as good as you, you're delusional! Sometimes I pity you, though...I guess your daddy isn't too pleased his son isn't even able to catch a snitch!'.

Draco's cheeks were flushed, as anger coursed through his body. He really wanted to ignore the stupid Gryffindor Keeper, and he was about to...until the idiot mentioned his father. What did he know about Draco's life? How dare he say something like that? Before he could stop he spat 'This is rich, coming from someone who couldn't even make it into the team on his own', then turned and left.

Weasley abandoned his spot and followed him, he looked confused, then he narrowed his eyes and said 'I didn't get on the team because I'm Harry's friend you git! Haven't you seen the try outs?'

Draco smirked and continued 'Oh, yes. I did. A real shame that McLaggen missed that last save, right? Don't you find it a little too...convenient?'. The other players noticed his and the ginger nitwit's exchange and started circling them, ready to intervene should they need to.

The redhead was seething 'What are you trying to say Malfoy? I'm tired of your bloody riddles!'

Draco laughed humourlessly and said 'You're not even bright enough to figure out what happened, Weasel. I wasn't talking about Potter anyway...there's someone else you should thank. I'll send my thanks too. McLaggen was way better than you, and as Slytherin Captain I can't help being relieved you'll be Gryffindor Keeper. At least I have the guarantee that you suck, Weasley' and he turned to leave, tired of wasting his precious time.

He was flying away when he heard Theo's cry coming from somewhere behind him 'Draco, watch out!' and he turned only to witness a Bludger heading straight towards him and Weasley with a stolen bat in his hands. The little shit had attacked him from behind! He was quick enough to avoid the bludger, but he was standing too close to the stands and the bloody thing would crash into someone's head, no doubt. He quickly turned around and realised with horror that the ball was heading straight towards Granger. She was busy reading, how typical. She must have relaxed after she made sure her friends were all in the team. She probably didn't even notice a friendly game had started!

'Oh, come on Granger, look up! Draw you wand and destroy the thing! Come on Granger'...Draco was hoping she'd notice but the girl was still unaware. People around her started panicking and eventually she looked up, only to realise she was about to be hit full force in the face by a Bludger. She'd probably die on the spot, the thing was speeding too much and she wasn't wearing protective gear!

Draco didn't even think about it and he launched himself towards the stands, while drawing his wand from his inner pocket. The ball was about to hit Granger, a ball that should have hit him! She was annoying all right, but she didn't deserve to die! Before he could rationalise what was going on he pointed his wand towards the Bludger and shouted 'REDUCTO!' and a blinding light shot from his wand.

For a few seconds the world stopped. People stopped trashing around, the other players froze in their spots...not that Draco would notice, he only saw those big eyes, wide open in fear. He was instantly reminded of her fearful stare while he was choking her in the library...and in that moment he realised he never wanted to see that look of pure fear in her eyes ever again. It did strange things to his insides and he wasn't sure he could bear it.

When his spell destroyed the Bludger, inches from Granger's face he realised she'd be hit by the debris and cast a shield, this time without alerting the whole Pitch. The debris bounced on his shield and he released a breath he didn't know he was keeping. The girl looked stunned and still didn't move, her friends all over her asking her if she was hurt at all.

Draco tore his gaze from her and turned around. Potter was flying towards him, a worried look on his face. 'Malfoy! What-what the fuck just happened?'

Draco looked at his nemesis and said 'Weasley started taunting me for no reason and I might have told him...oh I'm sure you noticed too Potter, I might have implied that someone, that...Granger, helped him getting in the team...and that I was glad 'cause he was a worse player. Then I turned around to fly away and the fucking idiot stole a bat from one of your beaters and sent a Bludger in my direction, I avoided it, but it was about to crash into Granger's face, so I destroyed it'.

Potter looked extremely surprised and said 'Malfoy, bloody hell I saw _what_ happened, I was asking you...why...I mean why did you save Hermione?' he explained in an annoyed tone.

Draco smirked and said 'Potty, I am not the nicest person ever, but I'm not the kind of guy who'd let someone else get injured in his place. She had nothing to do with our fight...I would have done it regardless of who the person was'.

He was about to leave when he heard someone cry out, and he turned around in time to see Blaise zooming towards Theo, who was staring at him and Potter, completely unaware that the debris caused by Draco's Reducto were about to hit him.

It all happened in a blur.

Theo, when hearing his friend's voice turned towards Blaise, who was rushing towards him shouting to move out the way. Potter started drawing his wand, probably to shield Theo from the debris...and Draco was standing there, frozen. This time he couldn't react, and unfortunately for Theo, Potter wasn't quick enough, so everyone, from the players to the students watching from the stands, witnessed a cloud of debris hitting Theo on his left side and knocking the breath out of him. Theo instinctively clutched his side and lost control of his broom. Blaise had nearly reached him, but their friend lost consciousness right before Blaise could catch him, and fell off his broom.

Draco watched in horror as his friend's body hit the ground. All he could think was 'Please be alive, be alive, be alive, be alive'. He landed messily, threw his broom behind him and started running towards the limp figure on the ground. He checked his pulse and was relieved to notice Theo was indeed still alive, but he also saw blood flowing from a big gush on his head. He nearly fainted, then started shouting frantically 'Blaise, Blaise...fucking hell, someone call Madam Pomfrey! I need help! I need bloody help!'.

He was shaking Theodore's body and kept saying 'You can't die on me, Theo! Fuck it, you can't! I have to tell you I'm not mad at you anymore! Theo, for fuck sake, open your eyes! I'm Draco! Can you hear me? You can't die Theo, you bastard...you still have to forgive me!'.

Draco was still shaking Theo's limp body when a set of strong hands held him back. 'B-Blaise?' he asked

'No, it's Harry. Malfoy, let him go, you're going to hurt him if you keep shaking him'

It took Draco a while to process that it was Potter holding him 'Potter? Potter! Where's Blaise? I need help, Potter. He's pale, and he's losing blood...I'll lose him! I'll lose him!' and he started trashing around, trying to break free from Potter's surprisingly strong hold.

He was about to faint from the adrenaline overdose when he heard a familiar voice behind them. 'Malfoy, calm down. Zabini went to the Castle to find help, I'll see what I can do in the meantime, right? Stop thrashing!' said Granger. He looked up and their gaze met briefly, before she rushed at Theo's side and started muttering healing spells. All of a sudden Theo jerked violently and started vomiting blood, and Granger started shouting orders 'Dean, for Godric's sake help me turn him on his side! Ron, you bloody idiot, give me your jumper and move out of the way! Harry, Harry where's Zabini? We're losing him!'

Draco was staring at his friend in shock and started trashing again, but Potter prevented him from launching towards Theo. 'Let me go! Let me go, I want to help! Theo, don't fucking die, you hear me?! Don't do this to me, or I'm going to resuscitate you and kill you myself! Theo, you hear me?! DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING DIE!'

He was about to lose hope when he saw four people running towards them. He spotted Blaise, Professor Snape and Madam Pomfrey...and Dumbledore! Thank Merlin! He never thought he'd ever be happy to see the old coot, but if there was someone that could save Theo, it was the Headmaster.

The old wizard ran towards them and kneeled at Theo's side. 'You can step back, Miss Granger, thanks for your help. Severus, the blood replenishing potion, NOW' he said. The Potions Master uncorked a vial and promptly poured it into Theo's mouth. His friend was too pale and Draco started panicking again. He couldn't breathe and his vision started blurring. He heard Potter and Blaise calling his name, then he heard Granger's voice 'Draco, breathe. It's a panic attack, breathe' but he couldn't breathe, he couldn't hold it together anymore. Theo was about to die and the last thing he told him was that he never wanted to speak to him again. He started seeing big pink spots, then he could feel his consciousness slipping, while his heart raced madly. He couldn't faint, Theo! He had to make sure Theo was fine!

But his body had already started shutting down and before he could even ask for help, a thick blackness enveloped him.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Here's another chapter! Thanks again to my friends and betas Lineswifty and Lizzie for their help! And thanks to each and everyone of you for reading and reviewing! You have no idea how much I appreciate your support! One last thing: the paragraphs in italics are a flashback!**

* * *

'You can step back, Miss Granger, thanks for your help'.

It took Hermione a moment to process the Headmaster's words and it was only when someone pulled her away from Theo's unconscious body that she let herself panic. Everything around her was pure…anarchy.

She barely noticed Ginny's soothing touch and her comforting whispers. The only thing she could think of was the dark haired Slytherin, lying unconscious on the ground a few feet from her , the cheeky, irreverent and lively boy that was now lying in a pool of his own blood. And by the teachers, that were all muttering spells and conjuring potions and gauges. She had been calm and collected up until that moment, but the sight in front of her was too much and she lost it completely. She started sobbing uncontrollably, her nerves still shaken by her near-death experience with the Bludger and by Theo's current state.

Ginny was still holding her while saying 'Hermione, breathe…Dumbledore's here. He's going to be OK, you did all you could', but Hermione couldn't calm down for the life of her. She barely noticed that someone was worriedly calling hers and Ginny's names and couldn't bring herself to pay attention to whatever was happening behind her. She only knew that one moment Ginny was there and the next she was rushing towards what Hermione presumed was Harry's voice, and with no one holding her she simply let herself go and collapsed on the ground, breathing heavily.

All she could see was the blue, cloudless sky, that stretched endlessly above her. She felt overwhelmed by the lack of boundaries and closed her eyes, least she faint.

 _She was walking beside Theo towards the Pitch and the Slytherin was chatting nonsense. Hermione let him babble, sensing it was his way of coping with the nerves. Once they reached the entrance to the changing rooms she turned and wished him good luck and the dark haired wizard smiled nervously and said 'If I make it onto the team promise we'll celebrate, Princess! Hell, tell Potter to come over, I'd gladly offer everyone a Butterbeer!'_

 _Hermione smiled and said 'I'll see what I can do. You certainly seem very eager to make it onto the team…it's weird, you didn't strike me as a Quidditch enthusiast' and noticed that Theo avoided her gaze and mumbled 'Well, I'm not a fanatic… - he seemed to gain back his usual irreverence, as he stopped shifting his feet and held her gaze without squirming – I might have ulterior motives, who knows…as you like to repeatedly point out…I am a Slytherin, Princess'_

 _Hermione shook her head in defeat while smiling 'You're impossible! Go and claim your Chaser spot then, I'm sure even Malfoy isn't that much of an idiot…he won't sabotage you. Still here? Go, go…' she said hurrying him towards the changing rooms._

 _After he waved goodbye and disappeared she climbed the stairs of one of the stands, where pretty much all of Gryffindor House was gathered to cheer on their friends. Hermione spotted Neville and sat next to him, turning her attention towards her friends, zooming in the air all dressed in red and gold._

 _Neville leaned towards her 'Poor Harry, you should have seen it Hermione! He had to sack dozens of people! There were even a couple of students I've never seen around in our Common Room and I'm positive they're Ravenclaws in Luna's year! They all came to take a look at The Chosen One, can you imagine? Harry was positively speechless and Ginny had to physically drag a couple of them out!'_

 _Hermione chucked 'I'm pretty sure Harry is amazed by all this attention. Wait, Nev…who else is trying for Keeper? I thought Ron would be the only one!'_

' _Oh…that. That, Hermione, is Gryffindor resident prat. We all have a Malfoy, after all. Cormac McLaggen. One of the worst braggers I had the misfortune to meet. My Gran loves him, can you imagine, she keeps going on about how confident, good-looking and well-educated the git is. He's just a pompous airhead, if you ask me' he concluded passionately._

' _Wow. There's no love lost between the two of you' she commented, surprised to hear such things coming from Neville's mouth._

' _Oh, I guess he doesn't even remember who I am, actually. Not that I'm complaining' said the Gryffindor with a dismissive tone._

' _Well, now that I think about it I always hear him bragging for this or that…he's not someone I'd gladly spend time with myself Nev, I hate braggers!' she conceded._

 _Hermione was a bit worried about McLaggen's sudden wish to become the Gryffindor Keeper. He was well-built and she knew for a fact he was athletic and confident…while Ron…well Ron had a big heart and was funny, even though he did lose his temper a little too fast, and he loved Quidditch and played with his heart. But she guessed those things didn't really count as a real asset during the Try Outs. She turned her attention towards the goal posts on her left – the right side of the Pitch was occupied by the Slytherins, she remembered – just in time to see Ron flying in front of them. He clumsily managed to save all five Quaffles, much to Hermione's relief._

' _Ron did well. I really hope he will get onto the team…the other boy has too many Nargles floating around his head, don't you think so Hermione?' said an eerie voice coming from behind her._

 _Hermione recognized Luna's serene drawl and, of course, her nonsense about invisible and completely made up magical creatures. 'Hello Luna. Well, yeah Ron was great, and yeah…definitely too many Nargles floating around McLaggen's head' she said humouring the blonde Ravenclaw, while discreetly elbowing a chuckling Neville._

 _She turned her attention towards the Pitch and saw McLaggen saving the first four Quaffles spectacularly. He defended the goal posts effortlessly and even had the nerve to wink at her. Neville was right, the git was a little too pompous and self-absorbed for her liking. He seemed to think he was a Quidditch God or something along those lines…while her friend Ron was…well, at least Ron had a big heart._

 _Before she could think about the consequences of her actions she covered her mouth and muttered 'Confundo' while clutching her wand under her cloak. Fortunately no one seemed to notice, and if they did no one said anything. As soon as she finished muttering the spell she saw McLaggen diving on the left, while the Quaffle went through the hoop farther on the right. She didn't even notice the roar that shook the stadium until Neville grabbed her arm shouting 'Ron's on the team! Cormac McPerfect is out, he's out Hermione! Did you see that?' and Hermione couldn't help smiling, suppressing the guilt that for a moment had threatened to assault her. Once everyone stopped shouting and howling she dared glancing towards the Slytherins. Theo and Zabini were next to each other, the latter patting Theo on the back. They were both smiling, and guilt swept over her once she realised she'd missed Theo's try outs, but at least it was evident that he made it onto the team. She then noticed Malfoy, who was pointing his finger towards a Slytherin fifth year, looking pretty minacious. It was a safe bet to say the boy didn't make it onto the team and had the unwise idea of complaining. Hermione shrugged her shoulders and grabbed a book from her bag. She had to stop the Malfoy watching, it wasn't healthy, and the madness in the shower was a clear signal. A big, fat, red warning sign. With neon lights. And an alarm siren. She was disgusted by her stupid fantasy…the blond git tried to strangle her, for Godric's sake! Now, let's talk about madness and masochism. Or let's not…actually. No more lingering on dangerous, stupid, pointless thoughts about a certain blond Slytherin. Or any other Slytherin._

 _She soon got lost in her book, gladly forgetting Quidditch, Quaffles, Brooms and most importantly boys. Hermione barely noticed Neville and Luna saying something about games, whistles and whatever else. She absentmindedly said goodbye to her two friends –who were leaving together - while reading a very interesting passage on Wizarding Trials._

 _It was only when she heard terrified screams and people scattering around that she decided to look up, annoyed by the interruption._

 _And she froze._

 _A Bludger was about to hit her straight in the face. She didn't even try to get her wand, it was too late and she was paralysed by fear and shock. She didn't even notice what was happening around her until she heard a familiar voice shout 'REDUCTO!'. The Bludger exploded a few inches from her face, and her saviour – which for unknown reasons had Malfoy's voice, but very well couldn't be him – must have cast a Shield too, because the debris bounced on an invisible wall at an impossible speed and rebounded in the opposite direction._

 _She was safe. And alive._

 _Hermione blinked twice and distractedly noticed that she'd been crying. She heard Lavender's voice coming from somewhere behind her say 'Did Malfoy just save her? Tell me I'm dreaming because this is the most surreal thing I've ever seen!'_

 _So it really was Malfoy, after all._

 _Hermione's hand reached for her face and she wiped away the tears, while she blinked again and finally noticed Seamus, Parvati and half of Gryffindor Tower surrounding her, asking her if she was all right._

' _In one piece, thanks' she whispered to her friends, trying to stand up without losing her balance. She barely had the time to compose herself when she heard a cry coming from the pitch._

 _She whipped her head towards the sound and saw Zabini zooming towards Theo, who'd just been hit by…no! The cloud of debris that once was the Bludger had just hit Theo full force on his left side and she watched in horror, her mouth agape, as Zabini tried to grab his friend before he fell. Unfortunately, he wasn't fast enough._

 _Hermione held her breath while Theo's body propelled towards the ground and hit it full force seconds later. Her feet moved on their own accord and she started rushing towards the stairs._

 _Her heart was racing and all she could think of was 'Please let him be OK, let him be OK, let him be OK'. She jumped down the stairs and skipped various steps in the process. Neville was waiting for her at the bottom of the stair, sweating and wearing a worried expression 'Hermione! Are you OK? I can't believe Ron nearly killed you!' he said._

 _Hermione stopped abruptly and asked 'What do you mean Ron nearly killed me?'_

 _Neville shifted nervously from foot to foot and said 'Well, he sent that Bludger towards Malfoy out of spite…' but Hermione had heard enough, she'd deal with the idiotic redhead later, at the moment the only thing she wanted to do was to make sure Theo was still breathing, so she started running towards the group of people gathered around him._

 _She really hoped Ron will have the sense to hide in a place where she couldn't find him._

 _When she reached the cluster of red and green she saw Harry holding Malfoy down, while the blond Slytherin thrashed around screaming Theo's name. If she wasn't so worried she'd be amused by the sight. Harry holding Malfoy and trying to calm him down was not something you got to witness every other day, given their mutual dislike._

 _But she was worried, she had no time to be amused by the sight. And she had to do something._

 _She approached Harry just in time to hear Malfoy scream '…re's Blaise? I need help, Potter. He's pale and he's losing blood…I'll lose him! I'll lose him!' while going crazy, kicking and punching the air in a fruitless attempt to break free._

' _Malfoy, calm down. Zabini went to the Castle to find help, I'll see what I can do in the meantime, right? Stop thrashing!' and she left the blond in Harry's care, launching herself at Theo's side. She had to triage him first…his pulse was erratic and his lips were bluish, not a good sign. She noticed blood spurting from a big hole in Theo's skull and she did her best not to gag. Her heart was racing, but she had to stay calm and help her friend. She was muttering basic healing spells when Theo started jerking violently, while vomiting blood. Internal damage, crap! Where the heck were the Teachers? Theo didn't have much time! She started barking orders to Dean and Ron while trying to contain the damage the fall had done to Theo's body and while working to stop the steady flow of blood from spilling. She heard Malfoy shout like a maniac 'Let me go!...Theo don't fucking die!...' but she his screams were distracting her and hearing the despair and utter desperation in his voice made her heart ache a little bit more, so she tuned him out._

 _After what seemed like ages she heard the Headmaster's voice asking her to move. Thank God, Merlin, Godric and even Salazar-sodding-Slytherin!_

Hermione was only barely aware of here surroundings…her eyes were still firmly shut and she was still trying to regain control of her breathing and her heart rate. Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo. Please God let him be alive. Please, please, please.

She wasn't even sure he considered her a friend, but she couldn't help being worried sick. That boy had something about him that made you want to hug him and ruffle his hair. You just couldn't avoid warming up to him and now he was there, lifeless on the ground and she was aching.

Hermione, her eyes still shut to escape from the bitter reality of what was happening around her, heard Snape's cold voice say 'I'll levitate him to the Hospital Wing myself Headmaster' and Dumbledore's calm one answer 'Very well Severus. I will alert St. Mungo's and ask to send over a team of Healers, the boy has sustained severe dama…'. The two wizards were leaving the Pitch and she couldn't hear them anymore.

What she did hear though was Harry's voice, frantically calling her 'Hermione, Hermione! Please Merlin tell me she hasn't fainted too! Hermione, come here! Is he breathing Ginny? Fuck! He's cold…conjure a blanket…HERMIONE!' and as soon as Hermione processed his words and the urgency and utter desperation in Harry's voice she bolted up, steading herself before stepping towards Harry, Ginny, Zabini and a bunch of other people, all of them surrounding a green heap on the ground.

What was going on now? She hurried towards her friends, moving people out of her way in the process. When she finally reached Ginny's side she saw Draco Malfoy. Unconscious. On the ground.

Hermione assessed that Zabini was too pale too, and how could she blame him? His two best friends were currently knocked out. She took a deep breath and asked 'What happened?'.

Zabini looked haunted but managed to say 'He…I don't know…Granger he just…he…help him please!' and Hermione nodded reassuringly before turning towards Ginny and saying 'Bring him to the Hospital Wing too, Gin…he's too pale and a Pepper Up Potion should do the trick, plus he's just going to panic and distract me if he stays here'.

Ginny nodded grabbed Zabini's arm and pushed him away. He didn't even protest. _That_ was the extent of his shock.

Hermione turned towards Harry and asked 'Did Malfoy bump his head?' and her best friend looked unsure 'I have no idea…he was thrashing and kicking like a bloody psychopath! He could have…I was trying to keep him still but I'm not exactly a Giant…'

Hermione wondered where exactly his other friends were, if you could call them that! How could you possibly leave someone you consider a friend alone on the ground was beyond her. Not even Parkinson was in sight, and Hermione was pretty sure she'd seen the black-haired Slytherin waving her stupid flag and cheering the team when she arrived.

'Hermione, what do we do?' asked Harry anxiously.

'We take him to the Hospital Wing, Harry! What else could we do? I'm not going to leave him here!' and she promptly conjured a stretcher. Harry and Dean grabbed Malfoy and tried moving him from the ground.

Hermione watched in horror as her friends jostled the blond around 'Guys mind his head...no, no! Stop! OK, I'll hold his head, now let's lift him on the count of three…Ron? RON! Come here, immediately!' barked Hermione, on the verge of losing her calm.

'I'm not touching the ferret!' said her other, unreasonable, stubborn and sometimes annoying best friend.

'Ronald Bilius Weasley! It's your fault this is happening in the first place, don't think I don't know. Just be glad that Malfoy decided to pass out and I have to attend to him, otherwise I'd be hexing you into the next century right now! You utter imbecile!'

Ron's ears were a vibrant red, a telltale sign of his anger. He had some nerve! He nearly got her killed by a Bludger and now was refusing to help the boy who saved her from a gruesome and premature end. 'I said I'm not touching the ferret!' he repeated stubbornly.

Hermione's right hand was about to reach for her wand, while she was holding Malfoy's head with the other hand when Harry cut in 'Ron stop it! Can't you see he's fucking unconscious? He saved Hermione's life in case you didn't notice! I fucking hate him too, OK? But this is not the moment to let hate cloud your judgment! Come here and move the bloody stretcher beneath him when we lift him! And before you even think of refusing…remember I could give your spot on the team to Cormac McLaggen. And don't give me that outraged look!'.

OK, an angry Harry was a scary Harry indeed, so Hermione wasn't surprised when a sulking Ron approached them and helped them moving Malfoy on the stretcher. She thanked Dean and glared at Ron, then levitated the stretcher and started walking briskly towards the castle, Harry by her side.

They were silent for a long time, then Harry whispered 'I can't believe what happened. You were nearly killed, Nott – he swallowed and steadied his voice – he wasn't in a good shape was he? And Malfoy…he saved your life, you know that? And, Hermione you should have heard him! He was going crazy after Nott fell from his broom….I guess he feels guilty because they had an argument and they weren't speaking to each other. He wouldn't stop kicking and scratching me…I barely managed to keep him still. He was so out of it that he didn't even complain I was the one holding him. Call me shocked, Hermione'.

Hermione couldn't even begin to process what had happened. One moment she was reading a book and the next all Hell broke loose. With all the commotion that followed Theo's fall she hadn't had much time to realise that Malfoy actually saved her life. Even after the slap and the horrible (yet deserved) things that she told him the previous day. She was alive thanks to the unconscious blond, and she didn't know how to feel about it.

They were entering the castle when she finally spoke. 'I'm proud of you Harry. You really are an amazing person…you helped him even if you don't like him' she told her friend.

Harry looked at her and said 'Well, you did the same. You helped him even though he's always been an arse to you'.

Hermione blushed deeply, thinking about her morning shower, then said 'Well, but I'm…me. You know I'm hopeless, I have to help. You surprised me, that's all. And of course I mean it as a compliment!'

Harry smiled briefly, then looked serious all of a sudden and asked her 'Do you think Nott will be OK? There was a hell of a lot of blood…' and Hermione was at a loss of words, she honestly didn't know if Theo would be fine, and she didn't want to think about the possibility of him _not_ being fine.

Hermione noticed with relief that they were only a flight of stairs away from the Hospital Wing. She looked at her feet and finally decided to answer. 'I don't know Harry…he…he was vomiting blood…I don't know' and her voice was quivering. Her friend stretched his arm towards her and brushed her cheek, then said 'You did all you could, Hermione…it's not your fault. Let's just hope Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey got there on time'.

They walked as fast as they could, considering that they were levitating Malfoy in the meantime, and they reached the Hospital Wing in only a couple of minutes. Harry kept the doors open for her and the unconscious boy, and she levitated him inside, following straight after.

Hermione understood the meaning of the word chaos for the first time.

The place was buzzing with urgent voices. There was a team of Healers in the far corner, busying themselves around what she presumed was Theo and running from cabinet to cabinet, grabbing potions and concoctions. Well, at least he was still alive, or they wouldn't be trying to help him so frantically. Dumbledore was there too, and he seemed a bit concerned, not a good sign at all.

Not far from Hermione and Harry, Madam Pomfrey was checking a very distressed Blaise Zabini, while Ginny tried to keep him on the bed, telling him 'Stay put! You have to let her check you!' and rolling her eyes at the boy's protests.

Hermione turned towards Harry, unsure about what they should do. She was about to interrupt Madam Pomfrey when a voice coming from behind them said 'Miss Granger, Mister Potter please levitate Mister Malfoy on that bed'. Hermione and Harry both turned around to face Professor Snape, who was pointing the nearest bed while tapping his foot on the floor. 'Are you deaf or simply daft? I said move him on that bed' remarked their lovely Potions Master. Harry scowled and opened his mouth, but before he could say something he'd probably regret Hermione cut in 'Sure, Sir. Just a second – she aligned Malfoy with the bed and levitated him on in, then turned towards her teacher and continued - we don't know if he passed out after a panic attack or if he bumped his head…he sort of lost it when he saw Theo in a pool of blood'.

'Understandable' was the only thing their professor said before approaching Malfoy's bed.

He then added 'You may go, thank you for bringing him here' said Snape without even glancing in their direction.

Hermione shook her head and said 'I'd rather stay here and make sure they-'

'You will do no such thing, Miss Granger. You will grab your two friends and get out. There's enough mayhem as it is. Do not make me repeat it. My patience is wearing thin. So much for a Sunday off' the gloomy teacher said, while heading towards a cabinet stashed with colourful potions.

Hermione was still staring at Malfoy's limp body when Harry grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the exit, Ginny on his other arm. Both the girls kept glancing behind them looking conflicted, but Harry kept charging towards the doors until the three of them were out in the corridor.

Ginny approached Hermione and hugged her. 'How are you feeling? I was so worried for you! It must have been horrible…and I don't know how you could keep so calm'

Hermione blushed fiercely. Why was Ginny asking how she felt about the whole ordeal? Had the redhead noticed something? Actually…was there something to notice in the first place? She was so mortified about her thoughts that she found it hard to form a coherent sentence 'Why…what…I mean I'm sorry for him but I'm not…I mean I was worried but…'

Ginny looked at her inquisitively and said 'Hermione what are you going on about? I meant I have no idea how you managed to stay calm and still help both Nott and Malfoy after you nearly died because that fucker of my brother decided to be more idiotic than usual! Anyway…you're sorry for who?'

Hermione cursed inwardly. Now Ginny _had_ noticed something, and all thanks to her own inability to lie decently and to her guilty and malicious thoughts. Who was she worried about anyway? Theo, of course. Malfoy would be OK and she _was not thinking about him_.

'Oh, I- I'm sorry for Theo of course! I thought you were asking me how I could perform the spells on him while he was in such a state…' she answered tentatively.

Ginny arched her eyebrow and said 'Ah is it _Theo_ , then? I didn't know you were on first-name terms…'

Hermione blushed again 'Yeah, since not long ago though. He's not bad you know…not all Slytherins are jerks apparently' she said smiling shyly. Ginny surprised her by laughing heartily and said 'Yeah, well…thank Merlin for that, then!', leaving both Hermione and Harry – who was still there, leaning on the nearest wall – speechless.

The redhead seemed to notice their bewildered stares and hastily added 'Sorry guys…forget about me, you know I talk nonsense when stressed! The Try Outs, the Bludger that nearly killed you…then this mess with Nott –she added gesturing towards the Hospital Wing - …and Zabini! He was a nightmare, honestly. I had to drag him all the way up here and he wouldn't stop calling Nott and Malfoy's names!'

Harry nodded and said 'Yeah, well…he went pretty barmy, but I guess it's not so weird given the situation…still, it was all weird and surreal. I mean…I sort of hugged _Malfoy!_ ' he said with a disgusted expression on his face.

Hermione finally snapped out of her trance and started chuckling. 'I swear I'll never come to see you play ever again guys…I love you but this is a little too much. See why I insist the Library is better than the Quidditch pitch? The risk of being killed or having to _hug_ Malfoy is pretty non-existent there…'

Ginny and Harry both laughed and her best friend said 'Hermione…you could be killed by the tons of books you always carry. Can you imagine? Hermione Granger – killed by the weight of knowledge. In case if should happen I'd make sure they'd bury you with a copy of _Hogwarts: a History_ , don't worry!' he said, bending over with suppressed laughter.

Hermione shrieked outraged 'Harry! This is so morbid! Not funny _at all_!'

'Oh, Hermione…it is a little funny though' said Ginny, tears in her eyes, clutching her stomach and dissolving into fits of laughter too.

'You two are crazy, you know right?' she said shaking her head. The truth was, Hermione was glad about their silliness…it eased the tension and helped her distracting herself from the gnawing sensation that possessed her and made her heart beat erratically at the thought of the boys lying on the beds in the infirmary. Malfoy had looked so _innocent_. Just a boy. Not the evil, prejudiced brat she had to put up with for the past 5 years. Not a Death Eater's son. Just a boy who was scared for his friend. Hermione had always thought the blond had befriended Zabini and Theo because it was _convenient_ , but she had to admit that he seemed to really care for them. Slytherins had a heart, shocking. But not _so_ shocking, when she thought about it. Theo was a _caring_ Slytherin, she knew it. Theo and his irreverent humour. Theo and his sweetness. He had to be fine, she wouldn't even _think_ about the possibility of him _not being_ fine. It was crazy, Hermione was well aware that she was worried sick about someone she barely knew, but she couldn't help it. Theo was there when she was falling apart, and helped her putting a few pieces back together. She couldn't and wouldn't forget something like that.

Hermione shook her head to clear it of all thoughts about the two Slytherins and noticed that both Ginny and Harry were leaning on the nearest wall, silent and thoughtful. She approached them and leaned on the wall too, slowly slipping to the ground in a sitting position. Her two friends did the same and they all stood there, without speaking a word.

Nearly an hour later Dumbledore opened the door of the Hospital Wing, and the three Gryffindors all but jumped up and ran towards their Headmaster.

The old wizard held his hands up to silence them, a twinkle in his eyes 'I expected Slytherin House camped out here…but I must say seeing you is a pleasant surprise. Yes, Harry – he held his hand high to prevent Harry from speaking, leaving him with his mouth wide open – I will tell you all I can. Mr. Zabini was a little shocked but all in all fine, he refused to leave his friends and will spend the night there. Mr. Malfoy…well, he's not awake at the moment. We revived him and he is physically fine, but we had to sedate him to prevent him from hurting himself or others, I bet Harry here knows how _passionate_ he was about this whole incident. He will be fine, eventually. As for Mr. Nott…I'm afraid I don't know when he will wake up'.

Hermione didn't even notice that she was desperately clutching Harry's hand until he whispered 'Ouch', wriggling it out of her iron grasp. She felt all hope leaving her and her eyes were blinded by fresh tears. Dumbledore seemed to notice her despair and put his hand on her shoulder, patting it gently. 'There's no need to cry Miss Granger, he's in a critical condition, but he's in no immediate danger. The team from St. Mungo's did a wonderful job and now he's stable. He's healing, and it might take a while…but he will wake up eventually, we just don't know how long it will take. At any rate, I'm pleased of your concern, it means our efforts towards House Unity are not in vain. Go now, you missed lunch already, it's not wise to miss dinner as well' he said while waving towards the staircase at the end of the corridor.

The three students left the corridor silently and were heading towards the Great Hall when finally Harry spoke 'I don't think I'm hungry girls. I can't believe I lost my appetite because I'm worried about a Slytherin. No more than two weeks ago I spent my days glaring at the three of them and now I'm here all concerned about their health. I swear they put some Peace Serum in our Pumpkin Juice, because this is all too weird to be true'.

Ginny chortled soundlessly at what Hermione felt was an inside joke, then said 'I'm not hungry either…I'd rather go back to Gryffindor Tower, someone else coming?'. Harry agreed to go back to their Common Room, but Hermione shook her head and refused to join them 'Sorry...I'm still a bit shaken. I want to be alone for a while…and I really don't want to see Ron right now. Ginny, no offence but you might end up short of a brother if I stumble across him now that I'm still so mad'.

The redhead assured Hermione that she'd hex the living daylights out of her brother herself if he only tried opening his mouth to speak and not a minute later both her and Harry were gone, and she was finally alone.

She went back to the Hospital Wing and sat in the corridor, leaning on the wall opposite the entrance to the infirmary with her eyes closed and her head resting between her legs.

* * *

Draco woke up lying in his bed, his eyes still shut, with no recollection of the recent events. He noticed straight away that something was off, but he couldn't tell, for the life of him, _what_ exactly was disturbing him. He could feel a beam of light warming his face. Real light coming from a real window. Only, the dungeons didn't have windows. The only windows were in the Common Room, opening on the depths of the lake, and usually the sun didn't travel that far underwater. There were plenty of weird fishes to look at, though, and Theo would always claim he'd seen the tentacles of the Giant Squid, but no one really paid him any attention.

Theo. Fuck.

Draco suddenly remembered what had happened during the Quidditch Try Outs, opened his eyes and sat upright in his bed. His hospital bed, to be precise. That explained the light.

'Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. Thank Merlin you woke up on your own. I was fearing I'd have to kiss you to wake you up'. Draco turned towards the spot where the voice came from and found a very tired-looking, yet smirking Blaise sitting in a chair on the left side of his bed.

'Ew, Blaise. Do you want me to throw up even before I have lunch?'

'I hate to break it to you, Draco, but it's 3 in the afternoon' said Blaise looking out of the window, feigning indifference.

It was 3 in the afternoon? Draco scratched his head and ran his fingers through his hair 'Crap! I've been out for four hours?'

Blaise shifted on his seat and finally faced him, a cautious expression on his face. 'Draco, mate now try not to freak out but…you kind of lost it out there on the Pitch, you were screaming and thrashing around. Potter had to hold you down…do you remember?'

Draco gasped in shock 'Who did what to who? Please tell me you're joking Blaise. First Granger slaps me in front of half the school, then Potter helps me when I'm freaking out…what's next? Longbottom sending me a Christmas gift? My reputation is gone. Forever lost' he whined while tugging at his blond hair in desperation.

Blaise snorted. 'Oh, shut up and listen, will you? You're such a kid sometimes! Potter had to hold you down because when Theo started vomiting blood, well…you sort of went absolutely bonkers and then collapsed. I couldn't wake you up, no one could wake you up actually...and to cut a long story short Granger and Potter brought you here on Sunday, Snape tried to revive you but you were completely out of it, so he sedated you and said you would wake up on your own once ready to face reality, or something along those lines...' then he trailed off and resumed looking out of the window, to avoid Draco's gaze.

The blond, worried by what he'd just heard, sat up even straighter and cleared his throat, thus succeeding in drawing his friend's attention 'What do you mean they brought me here on Sunday? I thought you just said it's 3 in the afternoon…it's still Sunday, isn't it? - when his friend hesitated a heavy dread settled in the pit of his stomach – Blaise…it's 3 pm on Sunday, right?. Blaise slowly shook his head and sighed 'No, Draco. It's Tuesday afternoon, I told you that you took your time to wake up'.

Draco weighted Blaise's words and stared at his friend trying to decipher if he was pulling his leg or not, but much to his dismay, he saw honesty and worry in his dark eyes. He'd been out for two whole days. Anything could have happened in that amount of time.

Draco swallowed and braced himself for the next topic they needed to discuss. There was another very important question he had to ask, and he'd been studiously avoiding it until that very moment, dreading Blaise's answer. But Theo had to be OK, or his friend wouldn't be so calm, right? Blaise must have read his mind because he leaned over and whispered 'He's OK, Draco. They had to put him in a magical coma…he's still healing. He's in here, behind those curtains in the far corner. They don't know when he'll wake up, but they said he will do. The only thing - he hesitated for a moment and Draco thought he might throw him something, anything within reach, out of frustration – the only thing is that he might have suffered from brain damage, because for a moment his brain didn't receive any oxygen' Blaise finished awkwardly.

That couldn't be true. 'Brain damage? You mean he could be…a-a-A VEGGIE?' exclaimed Draco, horrified at the mere thought.

Blaise snorted and said 'Only you could be this disrespectful Draco, I swear your mother would be horrified to hear you speaking like that'.

Draco grunted in annoyance and said 'You just told me one of my best friend could wake up with the IQ equivalent of a courgette, sorry I momentarily forgot my manners'

Blaise chuckled and gave up trying to be too serious, they didn't work that way. 'I bet he'd be an awesome aubergine, not a courgette. Or maybe a potato…yeah, definitely. Theo Nott: Slytherin's resident potato'

Draco appreciated his friend's efforts to lighten the mood and smiled, Theo would definitely appreciate that twisted humour. Anyway, the thought of a brain damaged Theo was disturbing, to say the least.

The blond leaned towards his nightstand and grabbed a glass of water, he was dying of thirst and his mouth was too dry. Blaise was studying him, so he arched an eyebrow questioningly. The dark skinned wizard smiled enigmatically and said 'So…you saved Granger'

Draco feigned disinterest, and kept sipping from his glass. 'So…I did'.

Blaise's mouth twisted upwards and said 'You do have the most peculiar way to show how little you care about her…'

Draco looked at his friend, horrified by the implications of what he'd just said. 'Don't start again, Blaise. Fuck, what was I supposed to do? Let her die because her idiotic best friend decided to aim a bloody Bludger at me? I'm not _that_ evil'.

Blaise still had that knowing smile on his face. 'You're not evil _at all_. You're a softie, Drakie…not a good thing for someone who's planning to join the forces of evil…just so you know…and judging by your glaring look you probably disagree, but I'm right. I just know I am, and nothing you say or do will convince me otherwise'.

Draco sent his pillow flying towards Blaise and his friend promptly ducked it. 'Yeah, very mature. Like a real Death Eater. _News of a new attack from You-Know-Who's followers: 3 injured after gruesome pillow war._ You have a future as a Strategist, mate'.

Draco shook his head in desperation and snickered 'You'll be the death of me. If only my father knew how much of a bad influence you are on me…'

'Bad influence? I'm the voice of reason, Draco. Your conscience. And I'm telling you to stop being an idiot and borrow a page from the awesome, amazing, stellar, astounding and remarkable book that is _me'_.

'You forgot to mention _modest_ ' added Draco sarcastically. Sarcasm that was lost on Blaise, or better completely ignored. 'Yeah, that one too Blondie', said Blaise causing Draco to splutter in disdain at the less-than-threatening nickname.

'Anyway – continued Blaise unperturbed by Draco's reaction – as you clearly _don't_ care, I have decided that you _don't need_ to know that a certain _someone_ has been here to visit two times'.

Draco's eyebrows shot up in surprise, but fortunately he almost instantly managed to plaster his trademark smirk on his pale face. 'Please, tell me it wasn't Potter. I don't think I could stomach it, I'm still debilitated'.

Blaise threw him back his pillow and exclaimed 'You are such an idiot. I still wonder how you manage to convince everyone you are someone that must be taken seriously'.

'I must assume it wasn't Potter, then. Thank Merlin for small favours. Are you going to tell me who it is we're talking about or do you want me to guess?' asked Draco feigning ignorance.

'You know who we're talking about' pointed out Blaise.

'Do I, now? Don't think so…care to tell me?' asked Draco, not wanting to give his friend the satisfaction of saying Granger's name out loud. Knowing that the girl came to visit him had been shocking enough, and it embarrassed him to no end, especially after the spectacular slap he received three days prior.

'Oh, you can see for yourself. She's just crossed the threshold' said Blaise nodding towards the large wooden doors.

Draco scoffed, sure that his friend was bluffing and said 'Yeah, sure. Stop being an ass, Blaise. And who else is there, Babbity Rabbity?'

'No,Malfoy. But next time I can bring my cat if you want' said a voice behind him. _Her_ voice. He slowly turned around, the tip of his ears red from the embarrassment of being caught talking about her.

There she was. Hermione Granger, Gryffindor Princess and bookworm extraordinaire, looking pretty smug, her hands on her hips and a small, tentative grin on her face.

Draco studied her for a second, then said 'You have some nerve…calling that _thing_ a cat, Granger'. She looked hilariously irritated by his less than polite remark, but her mouth twisted upwards once she realised there was no malice in Draco's voice.

Blaise cleared his throat and both himself and Granger turned towards him, who was now standing up. 'Well, we don't want Madam Pomfrey to kill us for breaking the One-visitor-a-time rule, right? –a rule that Draco was sure his friend had just made up - I'll be back later Draco – said his traitor of a friend, smirking like a maniac, and knowing perfectly well that Draco would kill him for leaving him alone with the Gryffindor girl – and you can come and sit here if you want, Granger' he added pointing at the chair behind him.

Before either of them could speak or move, the tall wizard had cleared from the room, leaving a still flushed Draco and a slightly self-conscious Granger alone and undisturbed. Draco would make sure his friend payed for this little stunt. Draco's only consolation was Granger's embarrassed expression, and her plain discomfort.

She approached the side of his bed and softly said 'Can I sit for a moment then?' and Draco's heart rate increased progressively as she came nearer, bringing a wave of her spicy, cinnamon scent with her. He found he couldn't speak, so he nodded instead. She dragged the chair closer to his bed and sat down, then she smoothed the creases on her skirt and took a big breath before speaking, while Draco tried to calm his own nerves.

'Thank you, for saving my life Draco' she said, finally looking him in the eyes. Hers were warm, and Draco noticed with surprise, watery. For a small, fleeting moment he forgot why he was supposed to hate her so much. For a moment he understood what Blaise kept telling him relentlessly. She was just a girl. An intelligent, challenging, caring, fierce and smart girl. A girl who tentatively smiled at him, waiting for his reply.

She was so bloody irresistible.

And he was oh-so-fucked.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Here's another chapter for you :) As usual, thanks to my friends and betas Lineswifty and Lizzie for their precious help! And thank you for reading and reviewing! All your awesome reviews really make my day and are an incentive to write more! I just wanted to tell you I loved writing this chapter, so I just hope you'll like the developments as much as I did :P xxx**

* * *

When did that happen? When did he stop considering her a Mudblood? Draco wasn't sure. What he was sure of, though, was that he was in big trouble. Huge trouble, actually. So bloody typical…of all the girls at Hogwarts he went and developed an unhealthy crush on Hermione Granger. GRANGER! Such a clever thing to do! Develop… _feelings_? for one third of the sodding Golden Trio. Way to go Draco! Whatever it was he was experiencing, it had to stop, because there was his mother's life on the line…his own life, for Salazar's sake! Not to mention Granger's. And as much as he tried to deny it, her life was worth as much as everyone else's. Damn Blaise, it was his fault if Draco started thinking out of the box his own father had built for him. But he ought to be glad, right? Yeah, sure. He was finally thinking for himself, and much good it did him.

And damn Theo. He had no sides, he couldn't care less about the bloody war, and in a certain, twisted way he had more freedom than Blaise and himself combined. And he chose to say fuck all and befriend Granger. He might even have feelings for her, and _he_ was nice and playful. He surely was a much better match for her than Draco could ever be.

And, bloody Hell, damn Granger too! She was sitting there, looking all vulnerable, grateful and irresistible. Yes, irresistible. At least he finally admitted it to himself, and it took him a freaking Quidditch incident to acknowledge his feelings – oh how much he loathed _that_ word. Draco was pretty sure she harboured no _feelings_ for him, the son of a Death Eater and Slytherin's resident asshole – yes, he was well aware of his less than charming attitude – not to mention he'd spent the past five years bullying her. And, how could he forget the Library incident! Yet, there she was, thanking _him_. Well, at least now Draco knew where all his physical excitement during the whole choking madness came from. His body considered Granger attractive way before his brain did. And the weird thing was that rationally he was more attracted to her mind than her looks. She was pretty enough, and with a little effort she could be _really_ pretty, as it turned out at the Yule Ball. But, Salazar forgive him, her wit and her intellect were what did the trick for him.

Draco was still lost in thought when Granger shifted nervously on her seat and he realised she was waiting for a reply, or at least a reaction. OK, this was the right time to drive her away from him. To crush all her little Gryffindor hopes to "save him from the Dark" or whatever else she was trying to do. He would tell her to piss off and leave him alone, he would tell her to stay away from him, lest she infect him with all her mudblood germs. Only, things don't always go as we plan them and when he opened his mouth to speak what came out was 'I very well couldn't let you die because of a Bludger, everyone knows you hate Quidditch! That would have been an undignified end for Miss Bookworm!'

Great Draco, wonderful job, so much for wanting to crush her.

Granger was giggling…and blushing.

Oh, perfect.

He definitely had to improve his 'get-the-fuck-away-from-me' speech; duly noted for the future.

'Well, yeah…just the other day Harry said that a much fitting ending would be an accident in the Libr-' and then she stopped, realising what she'd just said. She blushed even more, if that was even possible, and looked at Draco, whose cheeks were decorated by two bright pink splotches too.

He spoke slowly, his eyes on his lap. 'Listen, Granger…I'm sorry about what happened. I don't know what occurred to me, really. I was stressed out, and I had a tense exchange with Blaise at dinner. I know it's not an excuse for what I did, but he kept teasing me about you being better than me, and you might not know it, but my father sort of considers me a loser – great job, Draco, keep spilling the beans. Tell her everything, even tell her how you are attracted to her, so she'll flee before you can even finish explaining – for not being better than you. I'm a disgrace to the Malfoy name, according to him, so I just…cracked' he finished, still looking at his own hands. That was why he didn't notice it when Granger stood up and approached the side of his bed, and that also was why he jumped out of his skin when she put her small and delicate hand on his shoulder.

'No, _you_ listen, Malfoy. I don't know if I will ever overcome the fear of being hurt by you, but after what you did on Sunday, I know I can try. Because you can say I'm a filthy Mudblood all the times you want, but it won't change the fact that you could have let that Bludger hit me, and get rid of me, but you didn't. I said I forgave you for what happened, and I wasn't lying…my rational self really did forgive you, because I know you must be under a tremendous pressure and you're not inherently evil. Now I have to convince my subconscious that you won't try and choke me to death every time we happen to be alone, but it's something I can work on'.

Draco's throat was inhumanly dry. The girl standing by his bedside was one of a kind, she was too good to be true, and he didn't want her pity, for Merlin's sake! He had no chances to convince her that he was more than a poor kid raised with the wrong beliefs. But he could always try, right?

'I don't know what to say, Granger. You never cease to surprise me' he said, his voice husky.

'And is it a good or a bad thing?' she asked softly, a hint of embarrassment in her voice.

'Definitely good' he replied, this time looking straight into her caramel eyes.

'By the way, Granger….er-thanks for bringing me here after I passed out. I kind of lost it when Theo started vomiting blood. Fuck, I can't believe Potter of all people held me down. This tells you how much my own House likes me' he mused.

Granger waved her hand and said 'It was nothing, really! And I think your Housemates were just panicking to be honest. No one was able to move, least do something even remotely coherent and helpful. I must say you Slytherins aren't that quick at reacting in case of an emergency'

He smirked and said 'If that were true by now you'd probably be haunting the Library…as a ghost'

The Gryffindor had the decency to blush, then smiled and said 'But you don't really count Malfoy…'

Draco shook his head disbelievingly and said 'Well, thank you Granger! Next time remind me not to save your life then', pouting like a little child.

She outright laughed and explained 'No, you prat! I meant you don't really count because you have your Seeker reflexes, so you are naturally quick to react! Why is it you always think people are trying to belittle you?'

Draco pouted even more and said 'Bad habit of mine, you must thank daddy dearest for it –he briefly thought about Granger and his Father in the same room, engaged in pleasant banter and nearly chocked on his own saliva - Well, actually…don't. In fact, stay as far away from him as possible'

Granger smiled nervously and said 'Yeah, well. I've noticed how charming Malfoy Senior can be. You know, no one knows about what happened at the Department of Mysteries last summer…but I _was there_ '.

Oh, right. His father tried to kill a bunch of children only 4 months back, and one of them happened to be Granger. He definitely had no chances with her, who was he trying to fool? He blushed again, his cheeks were a rosy pink, splotching his otherwise deathly pale face.

'You're not him, you know. I don't blame you for what he did to us' she said, her hand still firmly put on his shoulder.

'Yeah, well…I'm not comfortable talking about him with you, Granger. You might think you know everything, but you don't –he said harshly - My relationship with my Father is not something I'm open to discussing. I resent him for what he taught me, but I love him for the happy memories, while you just hate him, you wouldn't understand' he muttered, while shaking her hand off him.

If she was offended she didn't show it. She simply exhaled and said 'You don't even know me…don't always treat me like I'm your enemy'.

Draco's mouth moved before his brain could register what he was about to say, and stop in time 'I could get to know you', he said. Granger looked as startled as he was, but recovered quickly and smiled tentatively.

'I have a question first, Malfoy' and this time she absentmindedly rested her hand on his, and he could feel her heat radiating from it and warming his own hands.

'Do you think that I'm beneath you?' she asked uncertainly.

Did he? Draco really thought about her question, and realised that in the past he truly believed that she wasn't an equal. But she destroyed his every certainty and belief. She was kind, caring and extremely clever. She was passionate, and loyal. And she was the most powerful young witch he'd ever met. No, she wasn't an equal…she was better than he could ever be.

'I don't…anymore' he said cautiously, hoping that honesty would pay. And it did, because she graced him with a heart-warming grin and said 'Well, then yes…by all means feel free to get to know me'.

And that's exactly what he did.

They were paired for all of their classes, thanks to the new House Unity policy, so they spent hours in the Library working on their essays. The first time they met there Granger was a bundle of nerves; Draco suddenly realised it was because he had inadvertently chosen the exact spot where he tried to strangle her. He had quickly gathered his belongings and claimed he wanted to find a brighter spot, and she had looked relieved, if not grateful for his less than subtle move.

After that first day things went better. They never spoke in the corridors, they both knew it wasn't wise. He had his reputation to maintain, and she didn't seem to be bothered by his reluctance to acknowledge their _acquaintance_ in public. He suspected she was so cool about all that secrecy because she didn't want to fight with her housemates for _befriending a snake._ Whatever the reason, he was glad about it.

They still had their fair share of fights, but they usually were over petty things. Mostly triggered by his careless comments about Muggles, Gryffindors or people in general. Like that one time where he was translating an Ancient Runes text about Muggle beliefs and indulged in his old ways, arrogantly stating 'I can't believe they were so stupid to believe that a human sacrifice would please invisible and non-existent entities they called Gods. This is the proof they are inferior to us'.

Granger had looked personally affronted and said 'Excuse me, but did you even bother to read that this happened centuries ago? I don't think wizards were much different at the time. Plus, believing in God isn't _stupid_. Only because you can't see something it doesn't mean it isn't real, Malfoy. How can you arbitrary decide Muggles are inferior only basing your claim on a stupid extract which is not even _that_ accurate'.

He then had the bad idea of retorting 'Hell, Granger…I'm sorry, don't take it so bloody personally'.

She was positively seething at that point 'Don't take it personally? In case you hadn't noticed my parents are Muggles, you dunderhead! You just called my Mum and Dad inferior for no reason! If only you knew the discoveries carried out by Muggle scientists, or the progress in the field of Medicine, Architecture or Engineering! I hate it: you purebloods always think you are better than anyone else but you don't even try and discover what's out there!'. She was breathing heavily and her hair was more of a mess than usual, and she was pointing her trembling finger at his chest.

He kept looking between her finger and her eyes and when he spoke it was to say 'What exactly is _engineering?_ ', his brows raised questioningly.

He was pretty sure she would kill him, but she simply said 'Why don't you find out for yourself, you self-righteous prick?' and left without even glancing back.

So he did.

He went to the Muggle Studies section of the Library, making sure no one was around to see him, and found a book called _Muggles and Technology: a modern guide to the discoveries in the Engineering field_ and started reading it. It took him three whole days – during which she didn't even spare a glance in his direction and pretended he didn't exist- but they were worth it. He was simply stunned by what Muggles had accomplished without magic. Cars, engines, airplanes…not to mention the electric machinery or the hospital appliances. The machines that helped Muggle Healers diagnosing illnesses were amazing. Granger was right, it was pretty unfair to define Muggles inferior only because they lacked the ability…well, the gift actually, to do magic.

On the fourth day he went to look for her, they hadn't spoken since that unfortunate day where he had deemed all Muggles stupid, and he was slightly nervous about her reaction. She was sitting on an armchair in the Library, immersed in one of her books. He approached her and cleared his throat to signal his presence and said 'I think the MRI machine is really impressive, but could you please explain me what's the contrast agent? It wasn't too clear and I couldn't find any further reference to it'

She slowly looked up, her mouth open and her eyes shimmering. Was she mad at him? Was she going to tell him to piss off?

No, nothing of the sort. She was positively beaming. 'Oh…I…sure I can!' she said, and in no time she launched herself into the basics of radiology and chemistry. He lost the thread here and there, but he didn't care. He was too relieved by the look in her eyes.

After that, things went back to how they were before their argument. They'd sit together in class, meet in the darkest corners of the Library to study and chat (yes, Granger overcame her reluctance to be with him in dark corners, _that_ was definitely an improvement)…and ignore each other the rest of the time. They both visited Theo – who was still in a magical coma and gave no sign of wanting to wake up - every day, but never together.

Three weeks passed and October turned into November before they even noticed.

* * *

Hermione was sitting at her and Draco's usual table, her nose in her Potions book, when she heard someone dropping a bag on the floor and shuffling around. Oh, here he was. The blond Slytherin sure took his time to show up; she hadn't seen him around all day. Not that she was _looking for him_ , specifically. Well, maybe a little bit, but it was only natural, given the huge amount of time they were spending together in the past few weeks. He wasn't too bad, actually. Yes, he was still an arrogant, pompous git sometimes, but she also noticed that something changed between them after the Quidditch Try Outs. She had started to understand why Theo liked him so much.

'Will you sit down so we can check the Transfiguration essay or do I have to drag you here myself? And before you complain, _I know_ it's only due next Tuesday and today's only Friday and we have the whole weekend to complete it, but I like to have everything finished in advance, you should know by now ' she said impatiently, her nose still plastered in her book.

Imagine her surprise when Harry's startled voice said 'What? Were you waiting for someone else?'

Hermione's head snapped up and she met her best friend's green eyes, searching her own caramel ones. He seemed to have something more important to tell her, though, because he dropped the subject and leaned over her table. 'I don't have time to sit down, I have to go to Quidditch practice in less than 10 minutes, but I'm bearer of excellent news! I know you would like to know…and I so happened to be in Dumbledore's office for our scheduled lessons when Madam Pomfrey rushed in…'

'Harry – Hermione cut him off – what are you going on about?'

Her dark haired friend smiled and said 'He's awake. Nott is awake! I thought you'd want to know, since you have two free periods this afternoon! I will actually pop in and say hello as soon as I finish practice, but I guessed you'd want to spent some time with him straight away…I don't exactly know how he is feeling, but you can go and find out, right?'.

Hermione's heart skipped a beat. Theo was awake. She was well aware that her friend could very well have sustained brain damage, but she was optimistically hoping to find him alert and his usual playful self. She jumped up and started collecting her books and parchments, then threw herself at his friend and hugged him, nearly choking the Chosen One with her wild mane. 'Oh, Harry, that's wonderful! Thanks for coming here to tell me! I'll see you later then!' and she all but ran away without waiting for a reply.

She literally rushed to the Hospital Wing and barged in, looking at the familiar corner where her friend's bed had been for the entire time. And there he was, definitely awake. He was sipping a cup of what smelt like tea and was listening to Blaise Zabini, who was sitting on a chair at Theo's bedside.

She must have made a hell of a lot of noise, because they both turned around to determine the source of the sound. Theo's eyes lit up when he saw her and Blaise nodded politely in acknowledgement. She paced towards the two Slytherins and said 'You don't look like a potato, so I must assume you didn't lose too many brain cells while sleeping your head off' while smiling.

Theo grinned, then spoke, his voice still hoarse due to lack of use 'Have you been spending time with Draco recently? Because he told me the exact same thing, only he compared me to a courgette, not a potato. I really don't know which of the two is more dignified actually, but I'm glad I'm none of them.

Hermione blushed at the mention of Draco's name, but dismissed Theo's question with a wave of her hand, refusing to talk about Draco Malfoy in front of Zabini. The boy was nice enough, and they got to talk a few times in the past weeks, but she still felt slightly uncomfortable in his presence. Maybe it was his infamous reputation that put her on edge, but she'd rather wait to be alone with Theo before filling him in on what happened while he was unconscious.

She then sat on Theo's bed and said 'It's no one's fault you inspire predictable jokes, Theo' while putting her hand on his, to check he was real and she wasn't dreaming.

At that point Zabini cleared his throat and said 'Guys, I'll just leave now. I have homework to do and my partners aren't as efficient as yours, Granger'. He was scowling, and she couldn't blame him, he was paired with either Daphne Greengrass or Ron, and neither of them was famous for being a conscientious student.

'If you're referring to Ron I feel for you. And don't fall for his trick when he says he'd like to check your progress…he'll just copy your homework changing the wording' she confided.

Zabini shook his head and said 'Yeah, I suspected as much – he then turned towards Theo and addressed him – and you take care. I will be back later with Draco. He's in detention for skipping this morning's classes to come and see you, so be nice when he comes back. See you!' and he silently headed towards the exit.

As soon as the wooden doors closed behind the dark skinned Slytherin, Hermione turned towards Theo and said 'I've missed you, you know'

He grinned irresistibly and said 'Did you now, Princess?'

The girl nodded and his grin widened. 'Well, how are you? The last thing I remember is Draco saving your life! He nearly killed me in the process, but I must admit it was for a good cause'.

Hermione flushed at the thought of the blonde Slytherin. What was wrong with her? She didn't like him in _that way_ , did she? He was OK as a study partner but nothing more…so what was with all the bloody blushing? She _couldn't_ like him. She looked into Theo's deep blue eyes and instantly forgot about Malfoy. 'How am I? Are you joking? I'm not the one who's been in a coma for nearly a month! How are _you_?'

The Slytherin shrugged his shoulders and said 'What can I say? My best friend gets to play hero and saves the girl, while I'm the idiot who falls from his broom. I actually miss the days when everyone ignored me…now they will go from not knowing I exist to laughing their asses off every time I walk down a corridor. I'm not sure I ought to consider this an improvement' he joked.

'Oh will you ever quit joking? I swear Fred and George would love you! Seriously, how are you feeling?' she asked.

Theo took her hand in his and said 'My legs are still sore and I will need to stay here a few more days but…I'm alive, right? So, what's there to complain? And I'm happy you're here Princess, I'm glad you want to be my friend and you can't even imagine how scared I was when I saw that Bludger nearly hit you. I'm so fucking grateful to Draco for not, once in his life, being an asshole and saving you – his voice choked while he tried to suppress his emotions – and…I don't know. You're the first person apart from Blaise and Draco who gave me the time of day and you even convinced _Potter_ that I'm not an evil bastard…I can't even begin to explain how much you mean to me Princess, really'.

Hermione didn't know what to say. She just knew she cared deeply for the boy sitting so close to her, in his hospital bed. How could she constantly think about Draco Malfoy when there was this awesome guy, who'd never, not once bullied or threatened her and who most certainly never tried to kill her. In fact, he was the one who helped her pick up the pieces afterwards. She was so confused, and she definitely didn't think about the consequences when she leaned over Theodore Nott and kissed him.

He made a suffocated sound and pulled her away, his eyes wide open in clear panic. Why was he rejecting her!? Hermione's face turned a brilliant red and she stuttered 'I-I have no idea why…I-I- thought you…oh my God, I'm so ashamed!' but he silenced her by putting a finger on her lips, before she could keep on rambling any further.

'Shhh, Princess. It's not your fault –they were still inches apart and she could feel his minty breath on her face – I honestly didn't think you fancied me…I thought…never mind now. I'm sorry but I don't like you that way, love. You are amazing, and I hope this hasn't just ruined my chances of being your friend…'

Hermione cut him off and asked 'Why? Why am I always the best friend? I know I'm not pretty but I thought you liked me…'

Theo stroked his fingers on her cheek and said. 'I do like you Hermione, only not romantically. Look, I can't explain you why, but I can show you. It wouldn't feel right…you don't like me that way too, I'm almost sure about it. Go on, Princess…kiss me again' he said, leaning closer to Hermione's mouth.

The Gryffindor girl didn't even think to stop, she needed to _know_ why he was so sure kissing her wouldn't _feel right_. She closed her eyes and locked her lips with Theo's. Her heart was beating erratically and the only sound she could hear was her own blood pumping in her ears. Theo's lips were soft and warm, and there was no way in the world the kiss felt wrong.

Only, it did.

Her heart wasn't beating _that_ fast anymore and she couldn't feel any butterflies floating in her stomach, no burning need in her lower belly…not to mention the absolute lack of urge to deepen the kiss. She simply _wasn't_ attracted to Theodore Nott. She was about to stop kissing him when she heard a loud noise somewhere near them. The noise, that sounded like someone had just dropped a book on the floor or something like that, was followed by a familiar voice.

A voice she got so used to hearing, and that was usually calm, if not cool.

Only, this time it was nothing short of shocked and…angry?

'What the fuck is going on here?'

Both Hermione and Theo snapped their heads towards the voice, nearly colliding in the process, and standing in front of them they saw a bewildered, shocked and positively fuming Draco Malfoy.

Hermione didn't even give Malfoy the time to question her further, she simply jumped up and ran away, even though she could hear Theo's voice calling her in the distance. Malfoy didn't even look in her direction when she ran past him. She knew he was mad, his face was all splotchy and he was trembling like a leaf. What she didn't know was _why_. She honestly thought he'd changed, he really seemed not to care about her blood any longer…so why was he so annoyed if his friend decided to kiss her? Was she such a disgrace that he didn't even want his friend to be with her? And what about their routine? Their delicate equilibrium was all but ruined. The past month would be erased by a single, stupid and utterly _un_ thrilling kiss.

And to add insult to injury she had been rightly rejected by Theo. He was correct, kissing each other didn't feel right, but being rejected hurt nonetheless. Merlin, she hated boys! Books were not as complicated! Well, she could always spend her entire life buried in a Library, breeding cats. Yeah, that would be better, given that apparently she was less appealing than a Flobberworm. Ron rejected her, Theo rejected her. 'Good job, Hermione. You're a heartbreaker!' she muttered to herself while aimlessly walking down a corridor.

She needed to talk to someone who'd be able to help her understand her feelings, someone who'd listen without judging.

She needed a friend. A _girl_ friend.

She needed Ginny.

They hadn't been talking much lately, with the whole break-up-with-Harry thing, but she missed her only girl friend. And she suddenly realised how much of a horrible friend she herself had been towards the redhead. She'd only cared about Harry's feelings, without even thinking to ask the other half of the couple if she needed a shoulder to cry on, or whatever people did when they broke up with their partner.

She only hoped Ginny would forgive her for her lack of empathy and that she was equipped with tons of patience and the will to listen to her.

* * *

Draco didn't even have time to react when Granger ran out of the Hospital Wing, her face a bright red. He couldn't believe his best friend went and kissed her first thing after waking up from his bloody coma. He knew he had no chances with Granger, but Merlin, it hurt to experience it first-hand.

His stomach did funny things when he saw Theo kissing the Gryffindor girl, and he couldn't help but feel betrayed.

'How could you?' he whispered dejectedly.

Theo looked sincerely sorry for what happened and said 'Draco, wait! It wasn't what it seemed! Let me explain!'

Draco went from dejected to _fucking_ angry in no time and spat 'So, you are telling me you weren't kissing Granger? Your lips just happened to be there when she fell over right?'

Theo looked embarrassed, good. He ought to, the little traitor. 'First thing _she_ was kissing _me_ ' said his friend defensively.

'Is this supposed to make me feel better, Theo? Because it isn't working' Draco spluttered angrily.

'Let me finish, Draco! She was kissing me, but I told her to…I was trying to prove a point to her'.

'What point exactly? How soft your lips were even after a month of being in a coma? How fresh your breath was regardless of all the time spent in this hospital bed?' screamed the blond wizard, his hair a royal mess and his face contorted in anger.

'Oh, Draco…will you just list-'

'NO, I WON'T! Fuck off, Theo! Just fuck off! How could you? I know you knew I…you knew I…'

Theo cut him off and challenged him 'I knew _what_ , Draco? Go on, tell me! Be a fucking man and tell me why it is so upsetting, me kissing Hermione!'

Draco was shaking with what he felt was righteous anger, he knew Theo was riling him up, but he couldn't stop and yelled 'BECAUSE I LIKE HER, AND YOU KNEW!'

They both fell silent. It was Theo who broke the silence and said 'I told her to kiss me to prove to her there was no chemistry between us. She kissed me first, I think it was because she was overwhelmed, not because she really likes me, and I rejected her, of course. She looked like a beaten up puppy, though, so I told her to kiss me again, to prove to her it wouldn't feel right. And I swear she didn't deepen the kiss, and it was nothing but a platonic kiss. No fireworks there, mate'.

Draco looked suspiciously at his friend and said 'Yeah, and I'm Hagrid's illegitimate son. Who do you think you're kidding? I don't believe you! I can't believe you stole her right under my nose! I spent the past month trying to show her I'm not a bastard and here you come, all nice and sweet…you wake up after a sodding month and you kiss her? Really, Theo? Why should I believe you when you say you don't like her?'

Theo shifted uncomfortably and looked away, clearly not intending to answer his probing questions, and Draco completely lost his temper 'I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH EITHER OF YOU ANYMORE! Understand? This friendship is OVER'

The dark haired wizard finally lost his composure and tried to get up from his bed, without success. 'You can be so fucking THICK, Draco! Don't you see I'm not a threat? I don't like her! How do I have to tell you? Do you want me to spell it? S-H-E I-S N-O-T M-Y T-Y-P-E! Don't question me further! Trust me, for once!'

Draco wanted to believe him, but how could he be sure? Theo was his friend, true. He did trust him, but that kiss…it seemed quite real to him. His friend was pleading him to believe him, his eyes were honest and sincere, yet Draco wasn't inclined to let this thing go and roared 'Not your type, sure…then tell me WHY? Is it so fucking difficult? WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE YOU, Theo? Why?'

'BECAUSE I AM GAY, YOU FUCKING MORON!' barked his friend, shutting him up for good.

Draco's eyes bulged with surprise at his friend's revelation and Theo, his chest heaving and his breath coming in short gasps, looked down out of shame.

'Well, fuck me…if this isn't a surprise then I don't know what it is!' finally exclaimed Draco, instinctively relaxing.

'I've just told you I like boys and the only thing you think of saying is _fuck me_? Really, Draco?' joked Theo nervously.

'Well…I'm not dark haired nor I am quiet, on the contrary I must admit I'm the epitome of bossy, so I must assume I am not your type either' answered the blond recalling their talk about girls…well, about... _possible partners_ that occurred a month back at the Slytherin table.

'You bet you aren't! Merlin, you would be a nightmare…Granger can have you!' said Theo with a mock-horrified expression plastered on his face, clearly relieved to see that his friend wouldn't judge him.

'I can't believe I never noticed you are gay!' said Draco shaking his head.

'Well, I don't have a label saying 'GAY WIZARD' stuck on my forehead…and I don't properly advertise it. Can you imagine? I'm pathetic enough as it is…' half-whispered his friend.

'Nonsense. You're Slytherin's new Chaser and you're a real catch, stop with the pity parade and tell me who the lucky wizard is…' said Draco nonchalantly.

'The Hell I'll tell you! There's no way I will share my romantic life with you Draco Malfoy! Plus, there's no lucky wizard to talk about. I fucking had to admit I am gay for the first time in my life, and only because you were throwing a tantrum. Granger is definitely not my type, happy now? Now, give me my bloody homework, before I start telling you how I found out I was gay…it's a fairly interesting story actually. There was this sixth year Ravenclaw, when we were in our third year and he-'

'OK, enough! Enough! Shut up, you prat! I really don't need to know!' laughed Draco while launching himself on his friend's bed.

So, Theo was gay and Granger was still available.

For Salazar's sake, _Theodore Nott_ was gay! Draco still had to wrap his mind around it. Merlin, Nott Senior would have a _real_ fit if he ever knew. What a nice, well-aimed blow to the fucking pureblood beliefs would _that_ be.

Theo was gay, Blaise was dating a Hufflepuff – or so he assumed- and he, Draco Malfoy, fancied a Muggleborn witch.

They were all fucked.

At least he wasn't alone.


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: Hello to everyone! Sorry for the little delay...I meant to upload this chapter on Friday but due to one thing or another I couldn't find five minutes to turn on my computer and do it! As usual thanks to my friends and betas Lineswifty and Lizzie for their help and support...and thanks to each and everyone of you for reading and reviewing my story...I've told you countless times already and I'm sure you know by now...but your words really do make my day! A special thank to Instantstargirl for her awesome support, hope this chapter doesn't disappoint ;)_

* * *

Hermione found Ginny on a sofa in their Common Room.

The only thing that was stopping her from sitting next to the redhead was the fear of being judged and accused of betrayal for befriending _the enemy_ , and she was about to turn around and leave when Ginny spotted her and motioned to sit on the couch. The brunette witch sighed and accepted the offer, collapsing into the soft, burgundy sofa, and before she could lose her nerve she took a breath and prepared to speak.

'I'm sorry, Ginny'

The redhead quirked her eyebrows 'What for?'

'For sort of ignoring you after your breakup with Harry. I didn't mean to be such a bitch…but you seemed to be OK and he was not so I…I chose t-'

'You chose him, I get it Hermione. I never expected you to abandon him…he sees you like a sister and I was so happy he could count on you that I really didn't mind your lack of interaction in the past few weeks. On the contrary, I'm glad he has you. I'm honestly fine. It was hard…admitting to each other that things weren't properly blissful, but it had to be done. We weren't miserable, mind you, but we both knew we could have been happier than that, and Merlin knows if there's someone that deserves as much happiness as possible as Harry. I love you, Hermione. You're my friend, and you're the smartest witch I've ever met, and you're clever enough to understand that he needed support more than I did, so…nothing changed for me. I'm still here and I'm glad you came' said the fiery Gryffindor smiling sweetly.

Hermione's eyes were watery. What was going on with all the emotional rollercoasters lately? She was turning into an emotive mess. Blushing, crying...doing weird things in the showers. She was simply going crazy, that was it. Nonetheless, she was grateful to Ginny, for not making things hard. And she had to repay her kindness with honesty, so she ventured a difficult question.

'Please don't hex me, Ginny…but do you think you were attracted to Harry just because he's The Chosen One?' she asked sheepishly, while pointedly looking at her shoes.

At first the ginger looked puzzled, then she shook her head and smiled. 'Well, when I was 11 yes, of course. I spent most of my days fangirling anytime he was close enough…and even when he wasn't. And well, in the following years too, I guess. I had this huge crush on him and I sort of idolized him. But then last year, during our DA meetings…my feelings for him changed. They went from being an obsession to being something… _more_. He's so much more than The Boy Who Lived, and I felt so stupid when I realised I had never noticed how truly amazing Harry is. So, to answer your question, no. I wasn't attracted to The Chosen One. I _loved_ Harry James Potter. But we weren't made for each other, I'm positive I'm not his type at all, and he isn't what I'm looking for either. This doesn't change the fact that what I felt for him was real, and no one could take that away from me, from us'.

By the time Ginny finished speaking, Hermione was openly crying. 'Oh, Ginny I'm so glad to hear you say this! He was so disheartened last time we spoke...I think you should tell him! He ought to know he was loved for who he is! And I don't know what's with me lately…I'm a hormonal bomb, I keep crying, I'm going crazy and…Oh my God Ginny I've just made a mess and I need you, I need your help…please!' she said between sobs.

Ginny hugged her and immediately asked 'Merlin, Hermione…what happened? I'm not even sure I understood everything you said…you were sort or rambling! Now, deep breaths and tell me what got you so upset, girl!'

Hermione reached for a tissue in her inner pocket, wiped her eyes and blew her nose, then she turned to face Ginny and started telling her everything. How Malfoy had started insulting her during Potions, joking about her virginity. How she got upset and cried like a baby over the blonde's insults. How he apologised to her and how she stupidly asked him how it was to have sex – 'For the love of Godric, Hermione! I can't believe you asked him _that!'_ – how she was annoyed by Ron's behaviour – 'No offence Ginny, but your brother and Lavender give me the creeps' – and how she couldn't understand why he'd choose Lavender Brown of all people – 'Don't ask me, Hermione…for I have no idea'. How she had thought maybe Malfoy was right and she wasn't deserving of love, she wasn't attractive. How she was studying in the Library when he approached her and their argument got out of control, ending in him nearly choking her only to feel sick on the floor right after– 'That _fucking_ ferret! Oh, how I'm going to enjoy hexing the living daylights out of him next time I see him!'. She even told Ginny about his erection, that she could feel pressed against her belly – 'You are joking, right?' – and how Theodore Nott had found her sitting on an empty classroom floor. She told her friend about their long conversation and about his kindness – 'He's a nice boy, I guess'. She told her how the following day Malfoy had a panic attack in the middle of a corridor because of what he'd done to her and how she helped him to his room –'You've been in _his room_?' – and she told her how she went to find Nott and agreed to meet him in Hogsmeade to see if they could find a way to help Malfoy – ' _Helping him_? Really? You're too good, girl!' – and how it all went to Hell when she and Harry arrived at the Three Broomsticks only to find Malfoy there, arguing with Theo, and how she ended up slapping the blonde – 'Now, _that's_ good news!'. She told her about her doubts, about the fact that she kept thinking about Draco sodding Malfoy and Theodore Nott, of all people! Then she told her she went to visit them at the Hospital Wing and how Blaise Zabini left the room every time, to grant her privacy – 'Oh, did he now? Maybe he's not _such_ an idiot, then' – and how she and Malfoy started spending a lot of time studying together –'I'm positively shocked, Hermione'. She told the other Gryffindor how he changed when they were alone, how much nicer he was…still snarky and arrogant, but in an enticing way - 'Hermione, you just used the word _enticing_ to describe Malfoy. I'm not sure how to feel about it' – and in the end she told her friend how she messed everything up with Theo. Sweet, adorable and kind Theo. Witty, smart and ironic Theo, who'd call her Princess and smile fondly anytime he looked at her. How he rejected her and how he told her it wouldn't feel right if they kissed –'As if he had a queue of girls waiting for him! I can't believe he rejected you! You are nothing short of amazing, for Merlin's sake!'. How he let her try anyway, and how he'd been right – 'Oh, that's… _weird_ '. She told Ginny how confused she was, because it was impossible that she was attracted to Draco Malfoy. It couldn't be. She told Ginny how things went from bad to worse when after she realised her kiss with Theo was empty, she heard Malfoy's voice behind them. How he looked positively livid and how she couldn't believe she thought he had changed. He was clearly upset that his best friend had sullied himself and kissed a Muggleborn, and she felt such a shame about everything that had happened. She explained to her friend how she felt lost and how she planned to never leave the Common Room again.

When she had nothing more to say she exhaled and finally looked into her friend's eyes. Ginny on her part whistled and said 'Merlin, Hermione…and here I thought you had a quiet life!'

Hermione couldn't help but laugh outright. 'Since _when_ has my life been _quiet_? It stopped being quiet when a Mountain Troll nearly killed me in the girls bathroom years ago and your brother and Harry burst in and saved my life!'.

Ginny laughed along and said 'Yeah, I guess you're right. So…you fancy Malfoy then?'. It didn't even sound like a question, more a statement.

Hermione nearly choked at her friend's words and felt her cheeks burning. She could feel the heat crawling up her body and she knew she must have been all red and splotchy. 'I don't! – she shouted - He's an obnoxious, bigoted, idiotic, evil prat! And he's so…so smart and quick and…oh my God he's _funny –_ her face reflected her own horror at her self-realisation – and oh Merlin, he's _pleasant_ '.

Ginny was laughing like a maniac, the evil witch! Hermione was hiding her face in her hands, while shaking her head ashamedly.

The redhead recovered enough to splutter 'Not to mention he's quite hot if you ask me. If only he wouldn't wear that hideous scowl all the time he'd be quite nice to look at…'

Hermione nodded in agreement. 'Yeah…that sort of ruins everything. Anyway, it's just a stupid crush, and he'd never ever think of me as a _female_. He barely thinks I'm a human being in the first place!'

'But he's been nicer lately, right?' inquired Ginny.

Hermione pondered her answer then admitted the truth 'He's been pretty nice lately, yes. But you should have seen his face when he walked in on Theo and me! He was livid…he probably wanted to murder me!'

Ginny smiled enigmatically and said 'Hermione, Hermione, Hermione…are you sure you are the brightest witch of our age? Of course he was livid…and he probably wanted to murder Theo for kissing you…before he could!'

Hermione nearly fell off the sofa out of surprise and astonishment. Her friend was mental, that was it. Malfoy could never like her…it was just crazy, nearly preposterous! 'Ginny, you're a nutcase, you know right? Do you really think Draco Malfoy, pureblood wealthy wizard, would ever want to kiss _me_? Don't be ridiculous!'

'Well, believe it or not I truly think he likes you. He _saved your life_. In front of the whole school. And you should see how Pansy Parkinson, the useless bint, is making a fuss out of it! She's trying to set the whole Slytherin House on him only because she's jealous! Don't you see? She's jealous _of you_. That must mean something! She was so mad at Malfoy that she didn't even help him when he collapsed after Nott's accident!'

Hermione recalled thinking it weird that none other than Zabini tried to help Malfoy a month back during the Try Outs, then suddenly looked up at her friends suspiciously 'And how exactly do you know all this things? That's inside information!'

The redhead blushed fiercely and shook her head 'Don't be silly, Hermione…it was clear as day!'

Hermione, who was not one to be fooled, insisted and told her 'Oh, really? I don't believe you, Ginevra Weasley. I've just told you _everything_ , every embarrassing thing, every detail – _apart from the shower thing, she thought-_ Now you do the same, please'.

Ginny sighed and agreed to tell her the truth.

'I'm seeing a Slytherin' she admitted.

Hermione's mouth popped open in surprise 'What?!'

Ginny scoffed. 'Well…what can I say? Pot, meet Kettle. See? You're not the only one who fancies one of the bad boys from Slytherin House…and I guess you see why I've been keeping it a secret. Can you imagine what Harry and Ron would say? Anyway, please don't ask me who it is. I swear I'll tell you before we decide to go public. Please, please, please…trust my judgment, ok?' asked the redhead pleadingly.

Hermione had no intention to pry and assured her friend that she'd patiently wait for her to be ready to tell the whole truth. 'OK, I'll call him S.L. from now on. Secret Lover, if you're wondering'

Ginny giggled at the nickname and seemed relieved about Hermione's discretion. 'So…what now? I think you should talk with both Nott and Malfoy, you can't leave things as they are now!'

Hermione recoiled in horror 'No way, Ginny. I'm going to ignore both of them until I'm sure they've forgotten all about the kiss thing. So, my plans are to pretend they don't exist for the next 10 years at least. I'm still quite sure Malfoy hates me for kissing his pureblood friend and that you romanticised the whole thing. I still have my pride and my dignity and I won't run after any of them!'

Ginny shook her head in defeat and said 'You are so stubborn Hermione! If you refuse to speak to them they'll start stalking you!'

'I doubt it. Theo clearly isn't interested in me, and Malfoy hates me. But if that should ever happen, I count on you to help me avoiding them!' she concluded gleefully.

Ginny sighed.

'You're a piece of work, Hermione'.

But then she hugged her and whispered 'And I love you. I'm glad I have you back and I'll do what I can to help'.

 _How_ she would help, she didn't tell.

* * *

'Have you seen her?'

Blaise rolled his eyes. 'Draco, for the millionth time _no._ I haven't seen her. I promise if I do, I'll tell you. Even if you stop asking me _every five minutes_ ' he said, articulating the last few words as if he was speaking to a child.

The blonde flopped into his chair, pouting like the child Blaise believed him to be. 'I can't believe no one has seen her for the past three days. Honestly, Blaise…is she invisible or what?'

Blaise snorted. 'Don't be ridiculous Draco!'.

Little they knew that a certain Gryffindor girl had been invisible, indeed.

'I'm not being ridiculous! I'm just going mental! She hasn't been around for the whole weekend, nor to any of our classes this morning, and every time Potter gave the teachers a less-than-plausible excuse to explain her absence!'

At that point Theo intervened, his voice full of exasperation at Draco's complaints. 'Draco, for fuck's sake, can you blame her? You were so livid you were actually scary!'

'It's not _my_ fault I got so angry!' retorted the blonde.

'What do you mean it's not your fault? Did someone _Imperio_ you? Stop being a dick. I'm worried about her too, but I'm not acting like a bloody kid!'

'If only you hadn't kisser her we wo-'

'Oh shut up you two! – shouted Blaise throwing his arm up in the air out of frustration – If you're so worried about her go and ask one of her friends where she is! At least that would be useful, unlike moaning and blaming one another! Or do whatever you want, I don't give a fucking Grindylow's ass, but _stop_ bothering me! I'm a patient person and I'm glad you – said the dark skinned wizard pointing to Draco – came to your senses and acknowledged the fact that Granger is not just a _Mudblood_ but a smart, attractive witch, but this is not a good enough reason to make my ears bleed with your useless moaning. You want to see her? Go and look for her! And you – he then turned towards Theo – _why the fuck_ did you have to go and kiss her? Oh Salazar, the drama that your idiotic way to _prove a point_ has caused! Couldn't you just tell her you like _boys?_ – at Theo's horrified expression Blaise rolled his eyes yet again – What? Did you think I hadn't noticed? Come on, Theodore! You couldn't give a sodding fuck about sports, and anytime we mentioned girls you were not _into_ the conversation, _at all_. Your hands are _manicured_ , OK? And you've always been slightly uncomfortable in the dorms, afraid of what people like Crabbe or Goyle would do if they ever found out. I can't believe you never told me, it's not as if I gave a fuck! Even better, actually…less competition for _me_ –and now it was Draco and Theo's turn to roll their eyes – anyway guys, _leave her alone_. She needs time to process what has happened, harassing her won't help!' and with that he stood and made to leave.

'Where are you going now?' asked Draco and Theo simultaneously.

Blaise shook his head and said 'To help my stupid friends. I've just seen the Weaselette leave the Great Hall, I'll ask her if she's seen Granger. And if you ever decide to _thank me_ for my invaluable help, please do so by _shutting the fuck up_ about this whole stupid misunderstanding', and with that he left the Hall hurrying to reach Ginny Weasley.

Draco groaned 'I can't believe I'm hoping _a Weasley_ will be able to help us. I'm clearly desperate. If only my father knew…'

'You'd be done, yeah' finished Theo for him.

They started eating in silence when they were interrupted by a loud whining voice 'Drakieeeeeeeeee, why do you keep avoiding meeee?'

Pansy.

Holy shit, she was the _last_ person Draco wanted to see. And she was as fake as a chocolate Galleon. Draco knew the jealous bint had set half of their House on him just because he saved Granger from the sodding Bludger, so her sugary voice didn't fool him. The only thing Pansy Parkinson would ever want from him was his money, and well…his body. But he was pretty sure it was a mere mean to get to his wealth. An added bonus, one could say. She all but threw herself at him more than once, but he couldn't for the life of him accept her advances. _Anyone else. Anyone but_ Pansy Pug-face Parkinson.

He slowly turned towards the annoying girl and drawled 'Honestly, Pansy, if I wanted to spend my time with an inferior creature I would rather sit at the Gryffindor table and befriend Longbottom. Stop bothering me'.

She looked affronted and spat 'Yeah, we all saw how much you like _the Gryffindors_ , Draco. Especially Granger'.

The blonde wizard stood up and towered over her ' . . Do not ever imply what I think you were implying. Just because you can't understand _why_ I do what I do, it doesn't mean you have to _question_ it – he then noticed that Theo was looking somewhere behind Draco but the blonde was too preoccupied with doing some damage control after what that bloody bitch of Pansy Parkinson shouted for everyone to hear, to actually pay him any attention – You know Pansy, Granger is nothing but an ugly, filthy Mudblood but at least she _has_ a brain. Unfortunately you are not as lucky'.

He expected Pansy to throw a tantrum, to insult him at least. Imagine his surprise when she smirked, looking satisfied and quite pleased with herself.

That's when he noticed that Theo, white as a sheet and looking quite sorry for him, motioned towards somewhere behind him.

He didn't want to turn around, for he knew who he'd find there. Pansy though, clearly wasn't done because she opened that Merlin-damned trap yet again 'Oh, look at who we've got here! Mudblood Granger, to what do we owe the _pleasure_?'

Draco turned around and threw a look at Granger, who was standing there, as if frozen, giving him a look of _betrayal._ The Gryffindor turned her gaze towards Pansy and calmly said ' I'm not sure seeing you could be defined a pleasure, Parkinson'

'Well, at least I'm not an ugly know-it all!'

'No, true. You're _an ugly idiot_ , which is way worse. Now go away before I lose my patience. 10 points from Slytherin for insulting a Prefect, by the way. And before you open that nasty mouth of yours again remember I can cast pretty excellent hexes, something that can't be said about you, _unfortunately_. – she then turned towards the two wizards, who were looking at her in bewilderment – Anyway I was looking for you two, but given the charming things you think about me, I see no reason why I should waste my time with the likes of you. Have a nice day' and with that she just turned and left.

Pansy stomped her foot on the floor in disdain and left, too.

Draco collapsed into his chair and whispered 'Please, Theo…tell me this hasn't just happened. Please'.

The dark haired wizard sighed and said 'Mate, I'm afraid it did'.

Draco rested his head on the wooden table and said 'If this is a nightmare I want to wake up, please? She'll never listen to what I have to tell her now'

Theo got up and literally dragged him out of the Hall, as the Slytherins had Charms in the afternoon. Two whole periods. Thank Salazar Professor Flitwick never complained if Draco, Blaise and Theo sat together in the back, as the blonde wizard that afternoon couldn't pay attention for the life of him.

He spent the first fifteen minutes telling Blaise what had happened during lunch and the next hour complaining about his bad luck. Theo remained silent for the whole time.

'I wouldn't call it bad luck, Draco. Idiocy is more appropriate! Fuck it, I managed to find Granger and I convinced her to come and speak to you two and you ruined everything!'

'I said those things only to get rid of Pansy!' said Draco defensively.

'Well, of course _I know_ that, but Granger doesn't, does she?' retorted Blaise.

Draco sighed in defeat 'I fucked everything up, didn't I?'

Blaise looked at him sympathetically, then after a long pause he spoke again 'Listen, I can help you arranging a meeting OK? But you have to swear me you won't fuck this up! There's _my_ relationship at stake here…I vouched for you and look at the mess you've made!'

Draco didn't understand what Blaise's Hufflepuff had to do with Granger. 'What do you mean _your relationship is at stake too?_ '

Blaise exhaled and turned towards Theo 'How come Blondie here is second in our year if he's so bloody thick?'

Theo didn't even glance up and his muffled voice sounded like 'Must be magic, mate' but Draco couldn't be too sure.

'Blaise, would you stop with the fucking riddles and tell me what's going on? What's with your relationship? How can it help me with Granger? I'm fucking tired of _not_ knowing!'

'Merlin's balls, I'm seeing Ginny Weasley, OK? Happy now? I swear when it comes to Granger you become an utter idiot!'

Draco gaped at his friend and said 'Holy shit, you're _fucking_ the Weaselette and Theo is _fucking_ boys? What next? Snape's a ballerina at _La Scala_?'

Theo shot his head up 'I'm not _fucking boys_ –he complained - and, could you please keep you bloody voice down? Jeez you make it sound… _bad_ '

'Well, I'm sorry for you if you aren't and there's nothing bad about what you decide to do with your dick as long as it doesn't involve me Theo, but…you –he then turned towards Blaise – are dating Ginevra Weasley? Really?'

Blaise narrowed his eyes and said 'Yes, I am. What of it?'

'Oh, nothing mate…I'm only surprised she hasn't hexed your balls off yet! She doesn't exactly strike me as the understanding and patient type' explained Draco sniggering.

Blaise slapped him on the back out of irritation and asked 'So, you want my help or not?'

Draco nodded eagerly and said 'Indeed. What do I have to do? If there's a contract to sign I want it written: Ginny Weasley _can't_ hex me if things don't go as planned'

Blaise sniggered and muttered 'Good luck with that, dude' then he explained him what Draco was expected to do, stressing on the fact that if he fucked things up again, he'd personally kill him. Painfully.

* * *

Hermione was sitting at a random Library table, still berating herself for listening to Blaise Zabini, of all people.

'They're both miserable' he said. 'They want to explain you a couple of things' he said.

And how in hell did he manage to find her in the first place? She was hiding in an empty classroom, trying to avoid both Theo and Malfoy, when the tall Slytherin barged in, asking her to go and talk to the pair of them. And she did, because it was in her nature. She _had to know_ if Ginny was right.

Of course, Hermione didn't actually _believe_ that Ginny had a point. Malfoy very well _wouldn't_ fancy someone like her. Book-obsessed, bush-haired, plain, Gryffindor, _Muggleborn_ Hermione Granger. But he'd been so nice lately…so _different_ from his usual self, so imagine her surprise and resentment when she heard what he said to none other than the Slytherin Bitch herself.

Hermione was so ashamed…and so so mad.

Well, to be honest she wasn't mad at Theo, it was Malfoy she wanted to strangle. _Ugly, filthy Mudblood_. That's what it came up to, in the end. And she was mad at herself for believing, even for a minute, the blonde could _actually_ change.

 _He was just trying to get rid of the Parkinson bitch,_ said her inner voice. A voice that Hermione chose to pointedly ignore.

She was about to get up and leave when a frantic Neville ran towards her waving his hands in the air 'Hermione, Hermione! Thank Merlin I've found you! I need to- I need to tell…something! –he said between gasps - Ginny…it's Ginny! She…she mentioned…she said to get-'

Hermione shot up in alarm, then she cut off her friend's babbling 'Oh Neville, calm down will you? I haven't understood a single word you said! What's with Ginny? Please tell me it's not another Quidditch injury! I swear I hate that sport'

The boy took a deep breath and said 'No, it's not Quidditch! It's…well, I don't know what happened, but when I found her outside of the Fat Lady's Portrait she was crying and she just told me she needed you, to please come and get you, so…here I am!'

'She was what?!' exclaimed Hermione, while hastily gathering her things and putting them in her schoolbag.

'She was crying – repeated the Gryffindor boy dutifully – and she told me to come and get you. She just told me to tell you it's because of the S.L., or something along those lines. I hope it makes sense to you, because it doesn't to me! – Hermione was already leaving in a hurry when Neville's voice reached her - Ah, and…Hermione, she also said she needed to be alone with you and to go to the Room of Requirement and ask for the Room of Hidden Things! Yeah, that should be it!'

Hermione thanked Neville and rushed upstairs. What had happened? Ginny wasn't a whiny girl, so it must have been serious.

Sodding Slytherins! They were nothing but trouble!

The Gryffindor girl was breathless once she reached the seventh floor. She was panting while standing close to the hideous Trolls-in-tutus Tapestry and while thinking hard about the Room of Hidden Things. Why Ginny would choose such an unusual place, she didn't know, but she was too worried to linger on that thought.

A small door appeared nearby and Hermione pushed it open. Behind it was the most breath-taking room she'd ever seen. Rows and rows of objects, books, chairs…there was literally _anything_. Students had been hiding their belongings in the room for centuries, and the result was before her to see. She ventured inside and closed the small door behind her. What a weird place to meet…Ginny could have asked for a nice sitting room, instead of _this_. It was fascinating, but she couldn't imagine a _girl_ would want to cry her soul out in such a place. But then again, it _was_ Ginny they were talking about, and that girl was nothing but original. Not original-crazy like Luna…more like original-rebellious, and this room was the proof.

Hermione couldn't hear anything, so she stepped further into the room half whispering 'Ginny? Are you here?' but no one answered.

'Ginny? Where are you? Look, if this is a prank it isn't funny! Ginny?!', Hermione was starting to feel uncomfortable. What if it was a trap?

 _Come on Hermione, how silly! Why would Neville be part of it if it all was a set up?_

'Ginny, I'm leaving! This place is giving me the creeps! Come out and tell me what's this all about!' but again, no one answered.

She turned around to make it to the door and she found herself face to face with Draco Malfoy.

Blissfull.

She narrowed her eyes and spat 'What are you doing here? Stalking me, now?'

The blonde looked taken aback by her fury, but said nothing. He swallowed noisily and ran his fingers through his impossibly light hair. A part of Hermione had always wondered how it would feel to touch it. Would it be as silky as it looked?

 _Merlin, Hermione! Stop thinking about the ferret's hair and just leave already!_

'Move out of the way, I want to leave'

Malfoy shook his head and finally said 'I need to talk to you'

'If this is about what happened today at lunch save your breath, I don't care what you think about me. I can't believe I've been so stupid to think you really had changed. You said I'm not beneath you, but your behaviour says differently'

The blonde looked mildly annoyed when he answered 'I was just trying to get rid of Pansy…you _know_ I don't think of you as a _Mudblood_ anymore! I thought you knew me a little better than that!'

Hermione turned around and stormed away, deeper into the room. She could hear Malfoy's steps right behind her. Why wouldn't he just _leave?_

'Right, go away Gryffindor Princess! Where's your bravery? I'm here! Talk to me! You disappeared for three days, this wouldn't be happening if only you could face the consequences of your bloody actions!'

Hermione turned around yet again, this time trembling like a leaf. She was _seething_.

'Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about Malfoy! You and your perfect, pureblood self! I've always been an outcast, my entire life I've felt _different!_ Imagine my awe and relief when I found out I wasn't crazy…I was _a witch_. I was elated! Of course I'd miss my parents, but I'd attend a school for people _like me_. I wouldn't be picked on, or ridiculed for being _the weird kid with crazy hair and large front teeth that makes weird things happen._ I was considered _a freak_ , I had no friends! Funny isn't it? _Muggles_ considered me a freak for being a witch, not that they knew it of course. Imagine my disappointment when I arrived here only to find out that _some wizards are better than others_. When I arrived here and I've found out that a lot of people _didn't want me here in the first place_. I swore I'd prove all of them, all of _you_ wrong. But being the top student wasn't enough. I still was an outcast. So, if I'm not a Muggle, but I don't deserve to be a witch…where do I belong? Where!? – she didn't wait for an answer that would not come and continued with her outburst – On top of that add the fact that I'm not a beauty and here we go. _Look Beaver Granger!_ Or _What's that on top of your head, a dead animal?_ But I didn't care. I've never cared as long as I had my books and my few friends. Ron…I liked him, but he never even noticed I'm a female! Want to know something funny? He never even considered asking me to the sodding Yule Ball! He came to me as a last resort. But I don't care now. He's how he is and we will never be more than friends. He's Ron and he won't change. But at least in his eyes I'm a clever, smart _human being._ Not some filth one would want to get rid of! And Harry, he is a blessing. He's never going to think I'm not enough, he's never going to think I'm ugly…and I wish we could feel something more for each other but we don't! So imagine my surprise when someone as nice, smart and witty as Theodore Nott befriended _me_. Me, _Mudblood_ Granger. Why not give it a try? He seemed genuine and he paid me attention. But of course he doesn't like me _that way_ and…the funny thing is I don't either. I didn't need a sodding kiss to know there was nothing there but friendship, but I was so confused and I kissed him anyway, and it was _humiliating_. Even though I agreed with him and I felt _nothing_ …I have been rejected, again. And then you came and looked at me as if I were vermin and what did you expect me to do? I thought we were building…something. I know we're just study partners but…have I not done enough to prove you I'm not _an inferior creature_? And what angers me the most if that I _shouldn't need to prove you anything_. Things were better with you lately, but hey! I kiss your friend, a stupid mistake by the way, and you go back to thinking of me as a filthy worthless _nothing_. What can I say? That I'm sorry for irremediably tainting your best friend? I've started thinking maybe you were right…maybe I need someone _desperate enough_ to be with me, because who would otherwise? I hate you for this, Malfoy! I've never in my entire life doubted my worth as a person, not even when everyone else would…but you managed to convince me I'm nothing. Congratulations, now you can go back to your Death Eater father and tell him how you managed to break the _Mudblood!_ '

Malfoy narrowed his eyes and said 'Leave my father out of this'

'You're a coward Draco Malfoy…what life is this? Living in fear? How bad it is, knowing what's right and what's wrong and being too afraid to do the right thing? I pity you'

'Shut up Granger! For fuck's sake why do you have to make things so difficult? I'm sorry ok? I'm sorry I told Pansy those things but I was only trying to protect my mother, myself and…you. Can you imagine what my father would do if he ever found out we study together? Or that I've saved your life? Pansy has a big mouth and I'm not going to risk my mother's life, or yours only because she's a jealous little shit! You have no idea what the _bad guys_ can do. You have no idea what I had to witness…yet you talk about cowardice! If I put a foot out of line my mother is _dead_. Is it clear enough for you Granger? So…I'm sorry the things I said hurt your feelings, but I'm not sorry I've said them in the first place! I did what I had to!'

Hermione threw her hands in the hair. 'Lies! Lies, all lies! How can I believe a word you say? How can I believe you when you say I'm not a worthless shit? If I think of all the bad things, all the fights…it's so easy to walk away. I believed you could change, now…I'm not sure. I should just walk away…no more sleepless nights thinking about the boy who nearly killed me, but who also happened to save my life! What sick game are you playing with me? What about your reaction when I kissed your friend? Try to explain _that_. I guess your mother's life had little to do with it! The truth is that you're just an obnoxious prat! And you'll always be! Stupid, little, prejudiced git! I can't believe for a moment I…' she trailed off.

She read anger written all over Malfoy's features 'Shut. The. Fuck. Up, Granger! And get off that fine high-horse of yours. Do you think you're much better than me? You too keep judging people, you keep judging _me_. And no matter what I do to prove you I have changed, you will always see me as a bloody Death Eater's son. But I have no fucking Mark on my fucking arm, Granger! Take a look, so that that stubborn brain of yours can get a grip on the fucking concept. I'm not my father and I'm tired of trying to convince you! And I know I'm a bad person, I'm trying to be better, but you won't let me!'

'Sod off Malfoy! I don't judge _people_ , I judge _you_. For all the wrong you've done. For all the nasty words, and the suffering and the pain. For your prejudices, your venom…spat at me at any chance. Don't you see? You fail. Any time you could prove me that in your eyes I'm not a filthy Mudblood, you fail. Why did you even bother in the first place? Why? Is it some sick game of yours? You don't deserve my forgiveness, Malfoy'.

He looked taken aback at her harshness, and Hermione felt sorry for him, but just for a second. She was sure she'd just crossed a line she wasn't supposed to though, because he launched himself at her and for a split second she thought he might hit her, he might hurt her _again_.

He pushed her against some sort of dark wooden cabinet, grabbing her wrists. He looked desperate, nothing like the usual Draco Malfoy. His face was contorted in anger and his hair was a messy blonde mop, he was inches from her and he cried out 'Is _this_ bad enough, Granger? Am I hurting you enough? Is it fucking OK to hate me now? At least I gave you yet another reason. Am I sick enough for you? Answer me, Granger!'

But she couldn't. She was shaking and wanted to break free, but she was glued to the cabinet and lost in the depths of his haunted eyes. She quivered, but kept staring at him. His eyes. Silvery grey, fierce, passionate. And full of pain and anger. At his situation. At his father, at that crazy world that tried so hard to keep them enemies, and most of all they were full of a silent plea to be given a chance, to be understood.

She suddenly felt bad for what she'd told him and whispered 'I don't hate you, Draco'.

'Don't you now?' he spat acidly, still inches from her.

She felt a little more confident once she realised he wouldn't _really_ hurt her. She had pushed him to his limit and he was just trying to give her what she wanted. No, not what she wanted, what she _expected_ from him.

'No, I have never hated you. Not really'.

His grip strengthened as he pulled her closer.

He was hungry and desperate.

And before she realised what was happening…he was kissing her.

Hermione gasped in surprise, and kept her eyes open only for a few seconds, enough to notice his were closed. Her rational Self tried to complain, to tell her to push him away but her body awakened and all was lost to the sensations. She lost herself in his smell…minty and spicy at the same time. She lost herself in the only sound she could hear, her own heart beating like a jungle drum. His lips were soft, his touch was urgent but gentle. He was so different from how she thought he'd be. All hard lines and pointy features, but with a touch as soft as a feather, his lips moisty and warm. A small part of her was grateful she had her eyes closed for she felt light-headed and weak-kneed. Fortunately he was holding her up, while playing with her mouth or biting her lower lip, sending shivers down her spine. He was holding onto her as if his life depended on it. And maybe it did. She didn't know and she couldn't think. She could only feel. Millions of butterflies were flying in her stomach and goose bumps covered her entire body. Her whole world was spinning over and over, while he pushed his tongue into her mouth, and she let him in eagerly. She'd never felt so light in her entire life. She was sure she could fly to the moon and back. She could swim to the depths of the Lake and back up again…she felt invincible but at the same time she felt so vulnerable. Hermione never wanted the kiss to end, so before he could pull away she kissed him back, fiercely.

He let go of her wrists, grabbing the back of her head instead, as if to make sure she wouldn't leave. But she couldn't, she was glued to his body and she needed to feel him. She too ran her hands through his hair, and another small part of her registered that is was silky and soft, just as she'd always imagined it.

He ran his fingers through her hair and down her arms and her body responded to his touch, she felt a wave of warmth course through it. He was pushing her hard against the cabinet, she could feel the weight of his body pressed against hers. She felt his muscles, she felt his arousal pushing against her stomach. She blushed at the thought, and she felt something else. Pride maybe?

Ginny was right, he wanted her.

Draco Malfoy wanted _her_.

* * *

 _Another (short) A/N: I really hope you liked this last chapter...the kissing scene was so hard to write so I hope you aren't disappointed! Btw, La Scala is a really famous theatre and opera house in Milan, Italy ;) I can totally picture Snape in a pair of thights,doing pirouettes on a stage LOL_


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